


Cant' Move On

by Jase



Category: Aaron Dingle - Fandom, Emmerdale, robert sugden - Fandom, robron
Genre: Angst, Barebacking, Christmas, Deaf Character, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Reunion, Sign Language, Smut, Soulmates, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-02-11 04:32:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 73,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12927522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jase/pseuds/Jase
Summary: It's been four years since Aaron gave into pressure and tried to move on from Robert. After being hauted for years by the last conversation he had with Robert, Aaron decides to stop lying to himself, to admit the only truth. He's still in love with Robert Sugden.Four years ago Rebecca ran away with his son and with nothing left to keep him in the village, Robert made the hardest decision he's ever made. After finding her and finding out the truth of the night he ruined his life, he'll have to learn to cope with life on his own.





	1. Don't Be Sorry

**CHAPTER 1**

 

* * *

 

 

"Just cos we are not together doesn't mean we have to stop caring about each other. I'm not turning my back on you, I'm just trying to move on and I'll hope you will do the same when you’re ready."  
  
The words play in his mind as they do nearly every night since he spoke them. He's been haunted by them ever since he said them to Robert. Yet even when he said them, deep down he didn't believe them himself, he only hoped that they were the words that needed to be said. The words that would finally make them both see that it was time to move on. If only he'd been honest with himself, maybe things would have been different. Instead he finds himself sat alone at the café holding a cup of coffee that's now gone cold, the words haunting him.

"Hey babe." 

He nearly shudders at the phrase coming from Alex.

"Hiya." He replies back with a small smile, feels fake for doing it, for pretending to smile. It's been years since he's genuinely smiled. Years since he's truly been himself.

"So, we still on for tonight at yours?" Alex asks and Aaron nods.

"Yeah, of course." He says.

"Great! I'll see you then, gotta run." Alex says leaning down and kissing the top of Aaron's head before leaving. 

Alex had spent the night at the Mill. Third time this week. He'd been pretty much trying to move in for a while now, slowly sneaking over spare clothes and toiletries trying to give Aaron a hint. A hint Aaron noticed the first time he had left some clothes in an empty drawer, a drawer that had been empty since Robert moved out. He still remembers the moment like it was yesterday, he remembers breaking down into tears at the sight of someone else's belongings in Robert's drawers. He's been lying to himself all this time, all these years. He still loves him, he knows he always will. If only he hadn't ruined everything, if only he had listened to his heart instead of what everyone else had to say. He'd only agreed to give Alex a shot because both Liv and Chas had pushed him to it, both claiming they just wanted him to be happy, both ignoring the fact that the only time he was ever truly happy was when he was with Robert and now he's gone. 

  
It wasn't long after the conversation that haunts him, that he saw Robert packing up his car late very late one night. It was clear that he was trying to sneak away with no one knowing. He had that same emptiness in his eyes he's had for a while now, the same dark circles under them and the same defeated look that's been killing Aaron to see on Robert.

"What's going? What are you doing?" Aaron asked, hardly able to get the words past the lump in his throat." 

Robert looked like a deer caught in headlights, almost scared, seemed like he'd been caught. He took a deep breath and wiped his hand across his face, pinching the bridge of his nose and Aaron nearly stumbled when he noticed the ring was gone. The ring that Robert had refused to take off all this time, after everything that had happened, even after Aaron ended things, it was finally gone. 

He feels like he's been punched in the gut, Aaron did his best to keep his composure, but it didn't go unnoticed. Robert could see the look on his face and quickly closed the boot of his car before immediately sticking his hands in his pockets just as fast.

"I uh...uh...I gotta get outta here. I need to go get my son back." He says, clearly avoiding eye contact.

"So what's with all this then? You are coming back aren't you? I mean once you've found them?" Aaron asked, already knowing the answer deep down. 

Robert sighs deeply, still avoiding eye contact. "I don't know...I don't know if she's coming back, so I have to be prepared to stay wherever it is that she's gone off to." 

Aaron wants to argue, wants to tell him that this is his home, it's where he belongs, but he knows he can't. He has no right to want to keep him here. He's moved on. He's got Alex now.

"Yeah...you uh, you keep in touch yeah? Let me know when you've found them." Is all he can muster to say, to ask. That was the night he'd realized what he'd done, what he'd given up. That night he cried himself to sleep.  
  
"Hiya." He hears the familiar voice, pulling him back from his thoughts. Victoria walks by on her way to the counter. She greets Bob and places her order, an americano, Aaron nearly winces at the word. It's clear to him that she desperately misses him, maybe even as much as he does. She never would have ordered that if it wasn't his favorite, it's the only thing she has to hold on to. The only thing she has to remind her of him. Their relationship had been severely strained before he left, she had pretty much turned her back on him the moment she found out Robert was the father of Rebecca's baby. She had sided with Rebecca in her madness over babies. Over something she desperately wanted for herself. Robert truly had no one he could count on, not even his own family. He had no one when he needed support the most. The thought made a part of him resent her for it, so much so that it's caused a strain on his friendship with Adam as much as it had his friendship with her. Their friendship had devolved mostly to greetings, they couldn't even bring themselves to talk about Robert. It's been nearly 4 years since he left, 4 years since he last saw him, broken and alone. It's been over 3 since he last spoke to him. When he first left, Robert called a few times to let Aaron know how he was doing, every call only making it more obvious how alone and broken he was. After a few months the calls stopped. Robert becoming no more than a memory.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Aaron." Victoria called out, again pulling him from his thoughts. She tries her best to give him a smile, but it's clear that it's not all real. The unshed tears giving her away.

"Uhm...yeah, you too. Please give my love to Diane..." He says, pauses for a moment then adds. "And Rob. Can you wish him a Merry Christmas from me and Liv, yeah?" He's barely finished saying when the tears break free and she begins to cry. "I'm so sorry, Vic. Did I say something wrong?" Aaron is quick to her side trying to apologize for whatever it is he had done to upset her.

"You've barely talked to me over the last couple of years and what, now you suddenly want to talk to me? Want to rub my face in the fact that I've lost my other brother... I haven't heard from him in over 3 years. 3 years, Aaron! As if losing Andy wasn't enough!" Victoria shouts back at Aaron.

"What?! What do you mean you haven't heard from him?" He starts, as a slight panic comes over him. "The only reason I haven't talked to you is because I feel responsible for him leaving. Vic, it kills me to even look at ya knowing it's my fault he's gone. After everything that happened I moved on, I thought it would be best to keep my distance, I hoped it would help him move on as well..." He's trying to explain when she cuts him off.

"Well ya did, didn't ya? Ya got your little doctor now, but what? It's not enough that you've moved on? You have to rub it in my face, remind me that Robert's gone!" She's fully shouting now, clearly she's been carrying this around for a while.

"No, Vic! It's not how it is! I... I just want to know how he is!" Aaron barks back.  
  
"Why do ya care? Ya moved on, you're happy now!" She shouts back.  
  
"Will you stop saying that!" He shouts back, a demand not a question.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because...because I haven't, because I'm not!"  
  
"Aaron?"  
  
"What? You want me to tell you I'm miserable? That I've been for years. That I've been since the moment I let him leave. I tried moving on, Vic. I tried, but I couldn't. I still can't. All I ever do is think about him. I knew how bad he was doing and I let him walk away." He sobs out, his own tears forming at the edge of his eyes.  
  
"I... it's... it's not all your fault Aaron. I turned my back on him, sided with Rebecca on everything. I couldn't even see how much pain he was in until he was gone and I hate myself for it. What kind of a sister am I?"   
  
After the outburst in the café, Aaron invited Victoria back to the Mill where she joked about not remembering the last time she had set foot in. It was clear they had both been holding on to a lot of misery. A misery that came from missing someone they desperately wanted back in their lives. Aaron sat on one end of the sofa with his back facing the corner of it so he could look Victoria, they both sat quietly for a moment taking sips at their cold coffees, unsure of what to say next.

"So, when's the last time you heard from him?" Aaron's first to ask, he can’t bear this, he needs to know that Robert's alright.

"Dunno really. It was maybe about 5 months after he left, he'd just found her and Sebastian. Took him some time, but she finally agreed to meet with him and he called me after, he was in a bad way, but he wouldn't tell me what happened. Wouldn't tell me what she said, he wouldn't even tell me where he was. After that night he stopped calling and he wouldn't answer my calls, and after a week his number was disconnected." She sobs out as Aaron puts his coffee down on the table and leans in to hug her, he only blames himself for what's happened. He tells himself he should have asked him to stay.

"What about Rebecca? Does anyone know where she is?" Aaron asks, Victoria shakes her head, tightening her lips. "What about Chrissie?" Again she shakes her head.

"They all left not too long after Rebecca, no one knows where to." Victoria replies.

"Fuck." Aaron lets out in frustration.  
  
Christmas was just a few days away and Aaron couldn't stop thinking about his conversation with Victoria. Everything that was said, everything that was left unsaid, was running through his thoughts. Finally voicing his true feelings made him accept them wholeheartedly, he knew he wanted Robert, he knew he had to fight for him, but first he had to end things with Alex. Just thinking about it made him feel sick. He's known since the beginning that his heart just wasn't in it and he hated himself for leading him on. They'd broken up twice before, but just like the first time Chas and Liv had pushed them back together and he agreed, feeling like he had something to prove. Always pretending he had moved on. He was done pretending.   
  
The bitter cold clung to his face, his cheeks turning a shade of pink, and his fingers nearly numb from waiting out in the cold. He'd stood alone for a couple of hours, just outside Hotten General, waiting for Alex's shift to end. His mind racing, trying to figure what to say, trying to figure out the best way to do it, but all he could think of was that there just wasn’t one. He's going to have to break his heart.

"Aaron?" He's suddenly pulled from his thoughts, Alex standing before him.

"What are you doing here?" He asks as he leans down for a kiss and Aaron gently places his hand to Alex's chest to hold him in place.

"Look, there's no easy way to say this..." He starts.

"But, you’re breaking up with me... aren't you?" Alex cuts in, tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Aaron replies almost unable to say it, hating himself for hurting Alex yet again.

"Why? Why can't you just give this...give us a real chance?" Alex asks, as frustration sets in.

"Because..." Aaron trails off.

"Because why!?" Alex demands.

"Because I don't love ya. Not like that, not the way you'd want." He finally brings himself to say. "Because you deserve to be with someone who loves you in the same way you love them." He says before he lets out a wavering exhale.

"Bullshit! You still love him, don't you?" Alex asks, making Aaron pause. "Aaron!? Just be honest with me, be honest with yourself." Alex says. Aaron nods his head in return.

"Yeah." He says. "I do. I always will. He'll always be in here and in here." He lets out, pointing to his head and then his heart. "I tried letting go, but how do you let go of someone who completes you? Of someone who knows you better than you know yourself, that knows all your secrets, all your mistakes, and still loves you unconditionally despite it all?" He says as the tears break free, as he tries to wipe at them with the ends of his sleeves.

"Then I guess we're done." Alex scoffs and walks past Aaron.

"I'm sorry…I truly am." Aaron shouts after him, before Alex turns to look at him.

"Don't be sorry. Just...just don't waste what you have, what you could have. I wish I could've had that with you, you have no idea how hard it is to find something like that, Aaron. So don't be sorry, just don't fucking waste it." With those final words, Alex turns and walks away.

 

 

 

 


	2. My Robert's a Fighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert tries to deal with Aaron moving on, tries to deal with everything that he's lost.
> 
> Song featured: Habits by Tove Lo  
> This song was pretty much the inspiration for this chapter, kinda said it all. Listen to it while reading this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for keeping you waiting...wanted to get this out much earlier but it kept growing, and changing. Finally got it to a place I was happy with...not that it's all happiness in here. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments, let me know what you think.

 

**CHAPTER 2**

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
"Just cos we are not together doesn't mean we have to stop caring about each other. I'm not turning my back on you, I'm just trying to move on and I hope you will do the same when you’re ready."  
  
His heart had already been shattered into a million pieces many times over throughout this past year, but hearing those words come from Aaron made it feel like he hadn't gone through it until now. He never thought he'd have this with anyone. Never thought he'd love someone so much that the mere thought of them being unhappy would break his heart. Yet, here he was with his heart having already been broken when Aaron was sent to prison. With his heart having been shattered when Aaron told him he was useless to him. His father had told him similar long ago and he thought nothing would ever hurt as much. Hearing it from the one person who mattered most, the one person who held his heart, was unbearable. It's the reason he found himself where he was now. The reason he broke down and ruined it all.  
  
He had been holding on with what little hope he had left, holding on to the hope that Aaron still loved him. Hoping that maybe one day Aaron wouldn't hate him.  
  
Even as the hope died, little by little, every time he told Aaron that he knew he hated him and Aaron didn't deny it, didn't correct him, he held on. Even after Sebastian was born, he held on. This however, was it...the last thread had finally been severed. Aaron was moving on, really moving on and once again Robert's heart was shattering. He tried to keep his composure when Aaron spoke the words, held it together, more for Aaron than himself. He knew Aaron had to do it, he could feel it, he wouldn't hold him back. Not any longer.  
  
As much as it killed him to hear the words, all he ever wanted was for Aaron to be happy. If anyone in this world deserved to be happy, it was him. Holding back the tears that threatened to break free, he told him he was glad he was still looking out for him. Told him he wasn't ready to move on, but that he was happy for him. It was time to let go, it was time to let Aaron be happy. It was then he realized he truly didn't have anything left for him there. Sebastian was all he had left now, all he could hope for now.  
  
Robert had spent nearly a week trying to mend himself, trying to pull himself together, trying to get himself sorted. Sleep had evaded him for months on end already and his appetite wasn't doing any better, Victoria had been on his case for the past week about seeing a doctor, to no avail. Drinking himself numb had become his only remedy, just as it had been the cause of most his problems. His eyes were heavy with the whiskey that flowed through his body, not feeling anything was better than feeling the pain. The pain he knew deep down would never go away, not as long as he was there, not as long as his heart was within reach. He'd sat on the floor leaning back against his bed taking the occasional gulp of whiskey, the curtains shut, keeping any light out as his music played in the background.  
  
I gotta stay high all the time  
To keep you off my mind  
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh  
High all the time  
To keep you off my mind  
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh  
Spend my days locked in a haze  
Trying to forget you babe  
I fall back down  
Gotta stay high all my life  
To forget I'm missing you  
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh  
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh  
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh  
I gotta stay  
  
As tears break free and flow down his face, he finally breaks, he can't hold it back any longer, and he's off the floor in a flash as he swings his arm with all he has, sending the bottle smashing into the wall. He sobs out as he sits back down on the edge of the bed, gasping for air between sobs like he hasn't been able to breath in days. He takes a deep breath looking down at his hands and squeezes his eyes shut, as he slides the ring off his finger. "Dad was right all along, wasn’t he? I'm such a disappointment, everything I touch, I ruin." He's sobbing. "I'm so sorry Aaron, I'm sorry I couldn't be what you deserve. I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy." He says out loud to the empty room. He'd never be able to say those things directly to him, at least not anymore. He finally gets up and drags himself down to the kitchen, setting the kettle on, tries sobering himself up with some coffee before he takes a quick shower, before he starts to pack some things. There are moments when he's not even sure what he's packing, as his vision is blurred by the tears in his eyes. He thanks the universe that Victoria is at Adam's, she would have sussed him out, would've thrown a fit and would’ve done everything within her power to stop him. In the state he's in, he's not sure he could put up a fight.  
  
There's a bite to the air. Bitter cold and dark, only the ambient light from the moon to illuminate things. What little he has left to his name is now stuffed into a few boxes and duffel bags, all crammed into the boot of his car. He closes his eyes for a second, trying to will himself to keep going, to leave and never looks back.  
  
"What's going? What are you doing?" The all too familiar voice jolts him out of his daze sending a panic through his body. He wasn't prepared for this, wasn't prepared to see him again. Robert takes a deep breath before running his hand down his face, he pinches the bridge of his nose trying to stall, trying to think of what to say, trying to decide if he wants to say goodbye. When he looks up he sees the hurt in Aaron's eyes, sees the way he's staring at his hand, and it hits him. He quickly closes the boot of his car and tucks his hands in his pocket. You've caused him enough pain. Let him go. Let him be happy. He tells himself before he does what he's always done. What he does best. He lies. He tells Aaron he's going to go find his son, tells him that he may not be back, though deep down he knows most of it is a lie. He knows where Rebecca is, didn't take much to find her. She's never been the brightest. He also knows that he's not coming back. There's nothing left for him there. He tells Aaron he'll keep in touch and even though every fiber of his being tells him to do so, he knows he can't. He tried his best to keep his voice from cracking, tried his best to give him a smile before giving him a final nod and getting inside his car. He quickly started the car and drove off, willing himself not to look back. Not to look at Aaron. It wasn't long before he found himself pulled over, the car still running as everything he felt caught up. A memory of a spark that lit his world, a spark that brought him back to life, a memory from the very same layby he was now in. It's where it all started, where he would now leave it all behind. He's gasping for air and clutching to his chest when he finally breaks, when all his emotions burst out in a guttural scream.  
  
As he screams with everything he has, the moment feels like a blur, he's not even aware that he's punching at his steering wheel. He punches until his knuckles bleed, punches until his fist feels raw, punches until everything feels numb. When he's done letting it all out, he wipes his fist on his chest, looks back up to the road and pulls away.  
  
It's only days until Christmas, there’s snow powdering the streets and there’s a bitter chill in the air. As he huffs in frustration he can see his breath, he shakes his head and starts going over what he's going to say. He's not sure she'll listen, but he has to try. He’s reached the end of his rope and he has nothing left to lose. He's already spoken to his solicitor and had papers drawn out if push came to shove, he just hopes it doesn't come to that. He's done fighting, he's done making things more difficult, and just wants to see his son. He wants to be a good father. Wants to be a better father than the one he had and not having warring parents is what his son deserves. He's been standing outside the luxurious flat in London for nearly twenty minutes, waiting for Rebecca to return. He needed to make sure she couldn't avoid him, that she couldn't easily slam the door in his face. He's about to make a run for a second cup of coffee across the street when he spots him. His perfect little boy in the carriage playing with a stuffed animal. He's half way to him before he even realized he'd started walking.  
  
"Robert..." Rebecca spots him, hesitation written on her face. "What are you...how did you find me?" She asks, as anger begins to replace the hesitation.  
  
"What, did you really think I didn't know about your 'secret' flat?" Robert asks with air quotes in a light manner, trying to keep things civil. "Look Bex, I'm not here to fight. I just need to see my son. I have every right to him."  
  
"Right? To see him? After what you've done!?" She barks back. "You're lucky we haven't actually pressed charges...yet" She threatens.  
  
"For what? For investing into your company. For putting all my money into it? For keeping it afloat? Or for giving everything back to my son?" He quickly throws back. Clearly things were not going to go the easy route. "I'm being serious Rebecca. I'm trying to do the right thing here. He deserves to have a good life, he deserves to have both his parents, and he deserves to have parents that are not at war with each other." Robert says as his voice breaks, tears threatening to break free. "Please, Bex. He's all I have left." He lets out as a tear breaks free and a look of guilt spreads across Rebecca's face.  
  
"No, Robert!" She hisses out, frustration setting in. Looks like she wants to flee. "You lost your chance when you decided to make fools of us all. As far as you’re concerned, you are not his dad."  
  
"Bex, please." He pleads. "I don't want this to get ugly. I will take you to court if you force me to."  
  
"Just drop it, Robert." She says rolling her eyes. "You have no leg to stand on."  
  
"My solicitor says otherwise and trust me, she's the best custody solicitor money can get."   
  
A look of shock flashes across Rebecca's face, Robert can see her starting to panic. She's never been good under pressure. "Robert...don't do this." She lets out shakily.  
  
"I've already had her draw up papers, they're ready to be filed at a moment's call." He says stepping towards her. "Come on, Bex. Just let me see him, let me be a part of his life and we can forget about all of this."  
  
"He's not yours." She says, so low he barely catches it.  
  
His face scrunches as he shakes it lightly. "What?"  
  
"HE'S NOT YOURS!" She shouts back.   
  
"No, he's my boy. You're just hoping I'll walk away. No chance. He's my boy." He says, tears in his eyes.  
  
"No, Robert. He's not. We...we never slept together that night." She says with tears in her eyes, the guilt in her face clear as the snow that powdered the ground. "You stopped it before it went too far. You cried yourself to sleep afterwards."  
  
"Don't...don't lie to me Bex. Please don't lie to me." He sobs out.  
  
"I'm not lying, Robert. We never slept together.”  
  
Robert’s at a loss for words, his shoulders slouch and he places a hand on his hip and then runs his other hand down his face. “All this time…” He says as his voice breaks. “All this time, you let me believe that we slept together. You stood by and watched as Aaron fell apart, you just let my marriage fall apart…why? Why would you…how could you?”  
  
“How could I? Robert…you had just used me again. You have any idea how cheap I felt? How worthless you made me feel?” She fights back.  
  
“I was drunk Bex, I was so fucking drunk! The whole time you were around, pretending to be my friend, to be Aaron’s friend, and you still took advantage of this…why?”  
  
“When I found out I was pregnant…I thought…I thought I could finally have you. I thought I finally had something that Aaron couldn’t give you. I thought, that if Aaron was out of the picture, that you’d finally see what was always standing in front of you.”  
  
“It’s Ross’ isn’t it?” Robert asks furiously, and all Rebecca can do is nod.  
  
“And you all act like you are so perfect…like you all are never responsible for anything.” He says through gritted teeth. “You better be good to him, you better be a good mum and you better keep that little freak Lachlan away from him.” He leans down and runs his thumb across Sebastian’s exposed cheek, a tear running down his face. “He deserves to know…Ross.” He looks back down at Sebastian. “Seb shouldn’t grow up without a dad.”  
  
“Robert, I’m…I’m sorry.” Rebeca says as he turns and walks away.  
  
It's Christmas day and there isn’t a person in sight. It took ages to find a liquor store that was actually open, long enough for the sky to go dark. There's a stillness in the air that almost feels unsettling, as if even the universe feels his despair. As if it knows what's on his mind. As he walks all his lonesome with his phone in hand, he swipes his fingers across the screen flipping through old photos. Photos of better times. Photos of that brief moment when he had it all, when he felt like he was on top of the world. Photos of him and Aaron, photos of him, Aaron, and Liv. Tears glide down his face, not bothering to hold them back, not bothering to wipe them away. Nothing matters anymore.  
  
He's stumbling about by the time he gets to the flat, the half empty bottle of whiskey held tight in his grip, his only real friend at the moment...he's not about to lose that as well. As he nears the door he tucks it into his armpit, so he can pull out his keys, what little is left of his concentration and dexterity all focused on working the key into the lock. Stumbling in, he lazily makes his way to his room. "Come on, come on. I know you're in here somewhere...there you are." He slurs to himself as he rattles the bottle in his hand. The Diazepam he's been holding onto. The Diazepam he'd gotten so long ago. The one he'd gotten to help him sleep after Aaron broke things off. He'd suffered countless sleepless nights as it alluded him to no end. His mind wandering perpetually over everything he'd lost, over everything he'd done. The same Diazepam he eventually began using to drug Lawrence. "Just what the doctor ordered." He chuckles to himself with a pit in his stomach, knowing how this ends.  
  
A single tear runs down his cheek as he pops the top off and empties the contents into his open palm. He stares at them for what feels like an eternity before throwing his head back as he downs every last pill, following it with what's left of his whiskey. "Merry Christmas, mum. Maybe I'll be seeing ya soon." He says to himself as he sits on the floor, leaning back onto his bed he closes his eyes and lets everything drift away.  
  
The chirps of birds fill the air, such a soft sound that makes him want to open his eyes. There's an almost constant rhythm to the chirps. Then there's a soft chuckle followed by that raspy voice that melts him every time he hears it, it brings him back. "You with me?" Aaron asks, looking longingly into his eyes.  
  
Robert scrunches his face a bit, a slight confusion coming over him, but nothing matters in this moment. Everything feels perfect, feels as it should be. He's on his side propped on his elbow looking into Aaron's eyes, who's laid out beside him, the sky is clear and it there's no one around to disturb their picnic. Still, there's a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He remembers snow, remembers the bitter cold. Again, everything just melts away when he hears Aaron chuckle, before his hand is brushing across his cheek. "You ready to talk about it?" Aaron asks.  
  
"What?" Robert asks, still confused.  
  
Aaron looks back at him tenderly. His heart breaking at the reason they're here. "This, Rob." He says waving his arms about.  
  
Robert gulps hard, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat as everything comes back to him. "I...I..."  
  
"Why, Robert? Why'd you do it? Why are we here?"  
  
"Because...because I'm lost without ya." He starts. "Because I have nothing left to live for, because I'm afraid of being alone, because I can't go on like this." He sobs out.  
  
"It's not you Robert. You don't do this."  
  
"I don't even know who I am anymore."  
  
"I do." Aaron quickly replies. "Sometimes I feel that I know you better than I know myself, and I know my Robert wouldn't give up. My Robert's a fighter. Always has been, always will be. He never gives up. My Robert is the strongest person I know and he deserves to be happy...so this...stop it. Get back on your feet like you always do and find a way to keep moving. Find a way to be happy because you deserve it." Aaron says before leaning over and placing a tender kiss to his lips.  
  
Robert closes his eyes and just melts into the kiss...closes his eyes wishing he can stay in the moment forever.  
  
There's a steady noise that draws him out. He pictures birds in his head, but he knows that's not it. He's not sure where it's coming from but it seems to be gradually getting louder. The more it draws him out, the more everything hurts. His throat feels like it's on fire, his stomach hurts like nothing before. The more that everything hurts the more light that starts to crack in through the fluttering of his eyes. Slow at first, his eyes flutter open, his vision a blur, and the sound becomes much clearer. There's a heart monitor nearby, clearly the culprit of the sound that drew him back. "Robert!" He hears from end of the room. "Mate, thank god you're awake." Connor says, as he stands from the chair and walks over to Robert's side. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" He asks.  
  
His throat is sore, he's not sure if his voice will even work. "I... I wasn't." Robert says hoarsely. "How did...what happened?"  
  
"I knew you were feeling down so I had picked up some take out and went over to yours. You know, thought I'd try and cheer you up. No one should spend Christmas alone. When I got there, the door was wide open, I got worried...so I ran in calling for you. Found you on the floor." He laments. "They pumped your stomach, said you almost didn't make it. Fuck, mate. Please tell me you're not going to try again."  
  
Robert looks, shame in his face, he shakes his head. "No...I'll be fine. I have to be. I've lost everything before and found a way to keep going. I'm just going to have to do it again. I have to move on."  
  
His fingers feel numb from the constant tapping at the keys, he’s been at it for so long he’s not even sure how long it’s been. They feel like they're about to fall off, but he just doesn't have the time to really think about it. He's on a massively tight timeline, he's put way too much work into this deal and no way is he going to let sore fingers get in the way. His phone ringing is the only thing that manages to pull his attention away from his computer screen. He looks at the caller screen and sees the name, reaches for it just as it stops ringing, not that it matters, as the person on the other end slowly opens the door, ducking his head in as he knocks. It’s Steven, his assistant, wide eyed behind the glasses, seems unsure if he should be interrupting or not.  
  
"Sorry boss." Steven says.  
  
Robert just looks at him making a face. "Urgh, I hate it when you call me that. You know that right?"  
  
"Sorry sir." Steven replies, nodding his head, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. He quickly uses his finger to push them back into place.  
  
"That's even worse." Again, he makes a face, being dramatic. Being a bit like the old Robert. Always with the dramatics.  
  
"Sorry...just, I know you're busy and all, but you do realize what time it is right?" Steven says, tapping at his watch.  
  
"Shit!" Robert lets out under his breath as he saves what he's working on and closes his computer. "Why didn't you tell me earlier."   
  
"I tried to, but you weren't picking up... it's why I came knocking. You better get a move on or you're going to be late picking up your girl and that will be the third time this month" He informs him, with a disapproving look.  
  
"If Jo calls, tell her I'm sorry, that I’m on my way to pick her up."  
  
"You got it boss." Steven replies, getting an eye roll from Robert as he runs past him.  
  
Robert's cursing himself for forgetting, for letting time get away from him.  _She's much more important than work, you idiot. Priorities!_  He's thinking to himself as he nears his flat. He parks his car and looks at his watch. "Shit...an hour late." He mutters before quickly jumping out of his car and slamming the door shut. As he runs to his front door, he spots her, his breath catching in his throat, same way as always, same as every time he lays eyes on her. The beautiful blonde curls that adorn her head, the bright smile that's brought happiness back into his life, and the green eyes that melt him like nothing else. It's been a long time since another pair of eyes has done that to him, years actually. A brief memory of ocean blue eyes flashes through his mind. "I'm so, so, sorry, Jo. Time just got away from me." He says.

She feigns annoyance before giving in and smiling back at him. “It’s really not a problem. Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve kept me waiting.” She jokes back, winking an eye at him.

"How's my little princess?" He's asking as he reaches out for the little arms that wave in the air begging for his attention, for his embrace. "Did you miss daddy?" He coos at her before looking back to Jo. "You are a lifesaver. I don't know what I'd do without ya!" He says as he takes his daughter into his hand and pulls Jo into a hug.

Tears stream down his face as he stands back looking on. He wasn't sure what to expect, wasn't sure of what he'd find, but seeing Robert with someone else wasn't it. Seeing him happy, seeing him smile, seeing him with another baby sent him reeling. He had waited too long, he'd lost him for good. Aaron wipes at his eyes, taking a last look at what he's lost, at what he gave up. Saying goodbye to the happiness he'll never regain.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Hiya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has decided to fight for Robert. To fight for the love of his life and stop pretending he's over him.  
> Robert struggles to move on, struggles to pull himself together and against all odds comes out the other side with happiness back in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 is here finally. Wanted to make sure I got it out before Christmas, it almost didn't happen as it kept getting longer and longer. Managed to get it out though. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments and let me know what you think and or if anything doesn't make sense.
> 
> Enjoy

 

**CHAPTER 3**

 

* * *

 

 

It's only three days until Christmas, he should be at home with his family, or at least that's what part of him is telling him. His heart however is telling him differently, his heart is telling him he is exactly where he needs to be, where he should be. Aaron pulls out his phone and turns the screen on checking over the address he'd gotten from Robert's assistant, checking it for the 100th time just to make sure he was in the right place. He’s sat drinking coffee at the café down the street from Robert’s flat, keeping his eyes on it, waiting for a sight of him. He’s been waiting for a couple of hours now, the music making his mind go numb, making him think back to how he left things back home. How he left things with his mum.  
  
No one knew where Robert was or how to find him. Victoria lost contact with him long ago and never got any word on where he was living. Diane was no better, she'd had even less contact with him than Victoria. Try as she might, she never really seemed to understand Robert, to really care for him the way she did Andy. A sore spot that breaks Aaron's heart for Robert, that makes him resent her a bit for it. Not even Nicola had a clue of how to find him. Robert had left without cutting ties to the businesses he had shares in, his cuts in both Holy Scrap and Home & James sitting uncollected these past years with no way of contacting him. They were all at a loss.  
  
Fortunately Aaron knew him better than anyone, knew him better than he knew himself sometimes. Once he decided what he was doing, that he was going to fight for him, it didn't take him too long to track him down.  
  
When he remembered, he cursed himself for not thinking about it sooner. Although Robert wasn't much into social media, there was one in particular he was adamant about having, the same one he'd tried to get Aaron to join. "If you want to be a good businessman you have to have it. It's all about networking." He'd argued. It took him a while, but he managed to track down Robert's profile on LinkedIn. Owner of Grease Monkey Customs. Robert had been a mechanic once, always had a love for cars, in fact it was something Aaron loved about him. Something that drew them closer together. A smile spread across his face reading the name. It was Robert's pet name for him, he was his dirty little grease monkey. Seems there was a part of Robert that still clung to Aaron. A thought that sent flutters through his stomach, that sent a warmth to his heart.  
  
The address in London was all he needed. He quickly packed a few things and against better judgement he stopped by the pub and asked Chas if she could watch Liv while he was gone. He had hoped against all odds that she would agree and not question, but he knew better, he knew it would happen.  
  
"Why? Where you going?" Chas asked.  
  
"Can't talk about it right now, I have to get going." He tried to brush her off.  
  
"You going somewhere with Alex?"  
  
The name alone nearly makes him shudder. He still hates himself for having put them both through that relationship. "No!" He nearly barks out, much harsher than intended.  
  
"What's wrong? Did something happen between the two of yas?"  
  
He knows he doesn't have time for this, but he knows that she'll prod until she gets something she finds satisfactory, so he just blurts it out. "I ended it with him." He says trying to make his way out.  
  
"Oh no... you don't just drop something like that and walk away, luv" She says grabbing onto his arm. "What happened? I thought everything was going great with you two."  
  
"I don't love him. I... just...he's not who I want. Never has been." He lets slip, as Paddy walks in.  
  
"Oh Aaron, please don't tell me you’re going to go looking for him." She nearly pleads, disappointment written all over her face. "He's no good for you Aaron, he only cares about himself."  
  
"Are you two talking about who I think you're talking about?" Paddy questions. "You know she's right, mate. He only cares about himself."  
  
Aaron winces at their words and finally snaps. "Really? You really think that!?" He shouts. "You mean the man who put his life on hold for me, to take care of me when Gordon came around...when I fell apart. Or the man who refused to leave me in that sunken car, the same man that gave me his last breath trying to keep me alive, the man that was willing to die with me in that same car? That the one, yeah?" He's had enough of listening to everyone else's opinions but his own.  
  
"And what about Rebecca? Who cares that he cheated, is that it huh? Chas snaps back.  
  
"Really? You're going to throw that in my face, you?" He comes back seething. "And here you are carrying on with Paddy after what you did to him." He throws back at her.  
  
Chas is left speechless, looks like she's just been slapped. "That's not fair, Aaron."  
  
"How? How is it not fair? You made a mistake, a mistake you wish you could take back, and Paddy forgave ya." He says looking back to Paddy who has no comeback. He’s speechless. "So, you going to tell me we should all treat you the same way you've been treating Robert?"   
  
"Aaron, I just want you to be happy."  
  
"No, no, you just want to control my life. The only reason..." He starts before second guessing himself, almost holding back, but he's done lying. He's done pretending. "The only reason why I even gave Alex a chance was because you and Liv just pushed and pushed. You made me feel like I had to prove something. To hell with the fact that I wasn't ready...for any of it. So long as Robert was out of the picture, yeah? Even if he's the only person who's ever truly made me happy." He saying as he storms out.  
  
His phone dinging as a text message arrives pulls him back from his thoughts. He picks up his phone, swiping his finger across the screen to open the message.  
  
Steven: Hi. Is this Aaron?  
  
A pleased smile spreads across his face, glad he was able to talk Steven into giving him Robert’s address. Not that it took too much to convince him. An extremely short version of how he knew Robert back in Emmerdale, a flirty smile, and wink, nearly had him eating out of his palms.   
  
Aaron: Hiya. Yes, this is Aaron. What’s up?  
  
Steven: Thought I’d give ya a heads up, Robert left the office nearly an hour ago, so he should be at his any minute now. Let me know how the surprise goes.  
  
Aaron: Thanks, mate. Means a lot that you are helping, and I will do.  
  
With that Aaron pockets his phone and disposes of his coffee cup and heads for the door. His nerves start getting the best of him, so unsure of what to do, what to say. He’s so caught up on his nerves he doesn’t even notice there’s someone walking by, not until he’s nearly knocking her to the ground, not until he catches sight of the child she’s holding. He quickly regains his composure and gently grabs a hold of her and the child. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry. I didn’t notice ya… I’m so sorry.” He’s apologizing profusely.  
  
“No, no… it’s my fault really. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” She says as she stares into his blue eyes, smiling.  “I should be more careful, I am walking around with this precious little thing. I really am sorry about it and I’d hate to seem rude, but I need to get going.” She says before looking down at the little girl. “We need to go see daddy, don’t we?” She says closely to her ear.

 

Aaron smiles and nods as she turns and continues on her way, the little girl looking back at him with a smile on her face looks like she’s waving to him. A warmth spreads in his chest seeing the small child. There’s something about her that tugs at his heart. Perhaps it was the golden locks on her head or the beautiful green eyes. A pair of eyes that remind him so much of something that feels like home. It takes him a moment to start walking himself and not much longer to realize the woman was walking in the same direction. Not wanting her to feel like he’s following he hangs back a bit, realizing it’s for the best anyway. He’d rather surprise Robert when he opens the door to him. Can't do that if he spots him waiting outside his door.  
  
His ears pick up the familiar sound of a car, of an engine he has memorized like the back of his hand and his heart begins to make flips when he spots it. He feels the flutters in his stomach when the car is parked, and feels his breath catch in his throat when the all too familiar golden locks emerge from the car. It’s Robert. Still looks the same, has just a tiny bit of scruff, and is maybe a bit leaner. Still as fucking beautiful as he remembers. It’s been nearly four years since he has last seen him and still, every inch of his body reacts the way it did when they first met. Every inch of his body nearly aching for him. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he found him. Wasn’t sure how Robert would feel, wasn’t even sure about what he would feel, but he didn’t expect what was happening before him.  
  
He’s standing back watching as the woman he nearly knocked down walk up to him. Watching as Robert smiles at her. Watching as Robert picks up the child in an arm lovingly and pulls the woman into a hug with his other arm. Robert looks happy. Happy in a way he had not seen him in a long time. His heart shattering into a million pieces at knowing that he had now missed his chance. He had waited too long. He gave up the love of his life, gave up something he would now have to leave behind. Something he could now never regain. Robert has moved on, has a daughter with this woman, and is happy.  
  
He’s fighting back tears as his mind and heart go to war with each other. His mind telling him that this is what he’s always wanted for Robert. To be loved, to be happy, to have the family he deserves. His heart telling him to fight for him, to not let him go this time without a fight, to not give up. He snaps out of his warring emotions when he sees Robert pull back and take the child into both his arms, cradling her as he peppers kisses on her head. He gives the woman another hug before he makes his way into his flat. The woman turning and walking back in his direction, she looks back a couple of times, almost as if to make sure Robert was not within view, as if to make sure he wasn’t watching.  
  
It’s not long before she reaches a nearby car and taps on the window before looking towards Robert’s one last time. When the window rolls down she leans down as a man sticks his head out the window and they kiss. Aaron gasps, anger building up within him. The woman steps around the car and jumps into the passenger seat and even from where he stands Aaron can see the couple getting hot and heavy. A rage building up within him at the thought that she is cheating on Robert. That she is playing with his heart, that she is doing this to the family Robert had built. The thought of Robert being hurt becomes too much and before he even realizes Aaron’s at the car. He’s tapping at the window just as she had and when it rolls down it takes everything in him not to swing at the driver. Instead he’s leaning down looking past him and straight at the woman who earlier seemed too nice to be such a two-faced adulterer. “What the fuck is wrong with ya?” He says as confusion spreads across her face. The man in the driver seat quickly becoming agitated doesn’t stop Aaron from going on. “How could you cheat on him? What kind of a person are ya? You have a daughter together!” He’s nearly shouting at her.  
  
“What you on about?” She asks, in shock, completely confused.  
  
“Robert!” He shouts. “How could you do this to him?”  
  
“Do what?” She asks bewildered.  
  
“Cheat on him! Doesn't that little girl mean anything to ya!?" He's shouting.  
  
"You mind backing off, mate!" The man in the driver seat shouts back trying to get Aaron to back off.   
  
Aaron not even bothering to pay him any mind, looks past him, still focused on the woman. "How could you do this to him... to them?"  
  
"Listen, mate... I don't know who ya are, but I think you've got the wrong idea here." She says calmly, before she looks back to the driver. "Can you give me a minute?" She asks receiving a nod from the man. She steps out of the car and walks around looking at Aaron curiously. "Who are ya?"  
  
"Doesn't matter. What matters is what you are doing behind his back." He scoffs in return.  
  
"Oh it matters. I'm not explaining myself or Robert's life to some stranger."   
  
Aaron lets out a sharp breath. "I'm... I'm and old mate from the village, where he grew up."  
  
The woman nearly jumps in excitement to hear that. "Oh my god... you mean you actually know him. Like really know him?" She asks excitedly. Aaron nods in response.  
  
"He's so closed off." She starts. "I mean, don't get me wrong... he's the nicest bloke, but you try to get to know him and it's like hitting a brick wall."  
  
Aaron's face scrunches in confusion. "But... you have a kid with him."  
  
"What?" She nearly chokes out, taking a quick glance over her shoulder, hoping the man isn't listening. "I wish. He is fit, like really fit, but I've been working for him for over two years now and I still barely know him." She says shrugging, pursing her lips. "Brick wall, I tell you."  
  
"So... so who's the little girl's mum?" He asks, hoping with every fiber of his being the name Rebecca won't be dropped.  
  
"No idea. Like I said, he's really closed off. All I know is that he's a great dad, like a really great dad. You can tell just how much he loves his little girl."  
  
"Does the name Rebecca ring a bell?" He couldn't help but ask.  
  
She shakes her head. "Nope, can't say he's ever mentioned the name. As far as I know she doesn't have a mum...I mean, I'm sure she does, but I mean, she's not in the picture. Single dad he is. Has been since I started working for him."  
  
Aaron lets go of the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Is he...is he seeing anyone?" He asks nervously.  
  
The woman's jaw drops the second he's done asking the question. "No. Fucking. Way." She says emphasizing each word. "You mean...you and him? Is that how you know him?"  
  
Aaron feels awkward about the conversation, doesn't know what Robert's life is like now. Doesn't know how much Robert tells the people in his life. Doesn't want to out him again. He looks away from her not wanting to say anything further. The look on his face however says it all.  
  
"Well, guess it makes sense." She says eyeing him up and down.  
  
The way she said it, the way she looked at him almost as if she was judging, it rubs him the wrong way. "Is that a problem for ya?"   
  
She almost jumps back at how harsh he sounded, shakes her head. "No! Not at all...soz, I was... I was just thinking about it." She says with a grin on her face before winking at him. Looking smitten all of a sudden, as she bites at her lip. "You two would look amazing together."  
  
He can't help the blush that creeps across his face. He tries to play it off, clears his throat. "So, is he seeing anyone?" He asks again.  
  
"No, not that I know of." She replies as the man in the car rolls his window and asks her to get a move on. "Sorry mate, but I got to get going."   
  
As she circles back around the car to hop in, Aaron calls back out to her. "Hey... sorry but... what's her name?" He asks.  
  
"Arya." She says smiling.  
  
A small chuckle leaves his mouth as he rolls his eyes and grins. "Of course it is." He replies, before she hops in the car and it pulls away.  
  
Aaron rubs his hands together trying to keep them warm, he's pacing back and forth outside of Robert's flat. Pacing just outside his door. _Come on you idiot, just do it. Just ring his bell. Quit wasting time._ He's thinking, still chastising himself. _Must have looked like a right tit to that poor girl._ He stops dead in his track after that last thought, realizing he's only procrastinating, only wasting time. He remembers what happened the last time he hesitated, the last time he wasted time, and that's all he needed. He lifts his hand and pushes his finger to the doorbell.

________

 

  
As the door opens, Robert smiles, his flat fully decked out for Christmas, part of him hates it as it's never really been his thing, but he takes one good look into Arya's eyes and knows it's all for her. Anything for his little princess. He looks around, proud at how well everything turned out, considering he'd only done it all last minute when Arya asked in the only way she knew how to, why their home didn't look like Jo's. Why they didn't have any decorations. Why their home was so boring. He'd laughed at her sense of humor, at her bluntness and smiled in awe of her. She's almost three now and wise beyond those couple of years, it still stuns him that she's developed as well as she has. All those sleepless nights learning just for her had proved well worth it. Again, he looks into the green eyes that match his own as he puts her down on the sofa and he remembers the day she came into his life. The day he was able to experience happiness again.  
  
It had only been a week since he tried taking his life. Since he tried to make the pain go away. All he could think of since then was Aaron, of what Aaron told him, or at least what his subconscious disguised as Aaron told him. It all reminded him of the day Jack made him leave the village, leave his home and family all those years ago. He had to start over. Had to leave the past behind and move on. Maybe Aaron was right. It was time for him to get back on his feet. He had to keep going, he had to find a way to be happy again. Over the following month he attended regular sessions with a counselor and even though he hated every second of it, he knew it was for the best. He spoke about what he had done, how he tried to end things and why. He spoke about Aaron, about his husband and how he had hurt him. Spoke about his dad. Spoke about his sexuality. Slowly he began to feel better. Not happy, but better.  
  
It wasn't long after he started the sessions that he received an envelope from Rebecca. There was a letter in it apologizing for what she had done to him and Aaron. She hoped that one day he could forgive her the way she had forgiven him for the things he had done to her. Along with the letter she sent a check returning all of his money. Anything he had set aside for Sebastian as well as what he had invested into Home Farm. He binned the letter wanting nothing else to do with her. It was all in the past now, all something he wanted to forget. Something he wanted to leave behind.   
  
That night he'd tossed and turned, unable to fully sleep, a single memory, a single conversation playing in his dreams.  
  
"Just cos we are not together, doesn't mean we have to stop caring about each other. I'm not turning my back on you, I'm just trying to move on and I hope you will do the same, when you’re ready."  
  
He'd quickly woken up in a cold sweat thinking of nothing but Aaron. That's when he first broke and dialed him. Wasn't sure what he'd say. All he knew was that when he had left, Aaron had moved on, Aaron was happy, and he deserved it. He wasn't about to ruin it.  
  
When Aaron finally answered he did the only thing he could think of. He lied. Pretended he was still trying to find Rebecca. Aaron's voice bringing him a peace he'd long lost. He knew it was wrong, but he wasn't ready to let go and continued to call him over the next couple of months until a night when he heard Alex in the background. Alex was with Aaron in the home he had built for himself and Aaron, he had felt like the ground beneath him had swallowed him whole. He wasn't even aware Aaron had been on the other side of the line trying to get his attention.  
  
"Robert? You there?" Aaron had asked, concern in his voice.  
  
"I... uh... yeah. Yeah, I'm here."  
  
"How's it going? Any luck?"  
  
"Uh..." He paused hesitating. Still unsure of what to say. "Yeah... you could say that. I found her...found them. Took a while but she finally agreed to meet and talk about him." He lied. "Uh, listen someone's at the door, I... have to go." Robert spoke into his phone before ending the call, before ending his connection to his past. It was somewhere he no longer had a place in.  
  
He quickly picked his phone back up and repeated the call only to Victoria this time. He could never move on with his past hanging over him. It was time to let go. With whiskey calling his name he rang Connor. He needed to numb the pain away, but couldn't trust himself to drink alone. Not after what happened last time.  
  
That night in his drunken stupor he had dreamt of the day Sebastian was born. He remembered that feeling that enveloped him, that feeling that scared the shit out of him at the same time when he first held him. He remembered how amazing it felt and remembered how great he felt the following weeks as a father. He remembered the happiness he had finally regained after losing Aaron. He remembered, and he wanted it back.  
  
"You gone mad?" Connor questioned running his hands down his face, exasperated. "Mate, I don't think you've thought this through."  
  
"No, actually, I have. I've been thinking about it for a while now. The last great thing to happen to me was becoming a dad. Granted it wasn't mine after all, but it was the best feeling I've had in such a long time. It changed everything for me and I want that again. I want to be a dad." Robert tried to explain.  
  
"You have gone mad, haven't you?" Connor joked.  
  
He was tired of being alone, tired of feeling empty and he knew what he wanted, but he knew Connor was right, it _was_ mad. He had to ensure that he was prepared, that it was in fact what he wanted. For weeks it became the focus of his sessions with his counselor, he wasn't going to bring a child into his life, if it wasn't the right thing to do. Once he felt like he was ready, he began looking into options. In the end he decided with surrogacy and spent nearly two months looking for a surrogate. Looking for the perfect surrogate. He'd gone back and forth through a couple doing his research making sure there was no history of medical conditions. He was looking for perfect health even though the doctors made it clear that anything could happen.  
  
When he finally met Sophie he knew she was the one. She'd given him a hard time about his shirts with the floral prints at first, but eventually grew to love them. He'd been at her beck and call for the duration of the pregnancy, nearly had her moved in much to her chagrin. She had invited him to her family's for Christmas and nearly accepted, but the day was now tainted by what he had done the previous Christmas, he declined. Maybe one day, this day wouldn't feel this same, maybe one day it would feel like it used to, but for now he couldn’t bring others down with him. He'd stayed watching TV and trying his best to avoid the bottle calling his name, he almost gave into it before he heard his doorbell.  
  
"Hey." Connor greeted standing outside his door, blowing at his hands trying to keep them warm.  
  
"What are ya doing here?" Robert asked, surprise written on his face.  
  
"What, you really think I would leave my best mate to his pitiful lonesome on Christmas day?"  
  
"Why are you really here?" Robert scoffed back, laughing at the same time.  
  
"So get this, this bloke I'm seeing had asked me over to his for Christmas right...well his mum showed up as a surprise and he flips out. He sends me packing out the back door." Connor nearly chokes out laughing.  
  
Robert joins in, their laughter could be heard down the street. "Serves you right."   
  
"For what?"  
  
"For leaving your best mate on his lonesome... on Christmas day."  
  
"Nah... I'm glad it went down that way. Wasn't planning on staying long anyway."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because, I couldn't leave my best mate all alone on Christmas could I?” He starts. “I know it's hard for ya Rob, but I'm here for ya."  
  
Robert rolls his eyes and pretends like he's about to close the door in Connor's face. "Oh, and I brought Chinese." Connor says, revealing the carry out he had been holding back on.  
  
"You see, that's what you should have started with." Robert jokes as he steps out of the way and nods for Connor to walk in.  
  
Even with the company there's a heaviness in his chest. He knows he should feel happy, knows his life is getting back on track and that he has a baby on the way, but he can't help what this night means to him now. A gentle nudge at his side accompanied by a soft voice pulls him from his thoughts. "You alright, mate?"  
  
Robert doesn't make any eye contact, he knows it would give him away. He nods softly.  
  
"Look, Rob. I know you. I know you don't want to talk about it, but mate. I'm here, you can talk to me. You're not alone." Connor says as he uses a curved finger to lift Robert's face, guiding him by his chin. Robert finally gives in and makes eye contact. He smiles as he looks at Connor, the touch making him feel things he hasn't felt in a while. He's not sure what's happened, what's come over him, but he leans in and places his lips on Connor's. He wants to forget. Wants tonight to be over. Wants someone to numb the pain.  
  
A fuzziness in his head wakes him up, not a fuzziness more like a headache. He rubs at his eyes and lets out a yawn before he realizes there’s a warmth next to him and everything floods back to him. He quickly launches himself off the bed in full panic mode, he's pacing back and forth when he hears the groan that reels him back in. "Why are you so dramatic about everything." Connor groans out as he lifts his head up looking over his shoulder to where Robert stands. "You know, I'd almost forgotten how amazing you are in bed." He says looking straight at Robert's crotch.  
  
"Shit!" Robert lets out just now realizing he was completely naked. Connor simply bellows out in laughter. "What's so fucking funny?" Robert asks.  
  
"You... this..."  
  
"What do you mean this?"  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I know you Robert, remember? Right now you're freaking out because you don't know what this means, yeah?"  
  
"It doesn't mean anything."  
  
"Exactly! Look, yesterday was a bad day. I know. You felt vulnerable, you felt alone, what we did...it meant nothing. We were just both alone and didn’t want to be. End of."  
  
Robert let's go of the breath he wasn't aware he was holding on to. "Fuck... thanks. I just... I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. It just...I don't know what came over me. You and me... you're my best mate and I don't want to lose that. I need ya."  
  
"Mate, did you hear any of what I just said? I get it. We are solid, and we never have to talk about this again. Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah." Robert let's out, thankful that him being vulnerable didn't blow up in his face like everything else usually does.  
  
"Great, now why don't you go make us some breakfast. I'd offer but I can't cook for shit."  
  
January came and along with it a big day for Robert, he had been working tirelessly for months and all his hard work is coming to fruition as Grease Monkey Customs finally opened. He had been a mechanic long ago and his love for cars was always with him. He had put every last penny he had into opening up a high-end garage that focused on aftermarket customizations. He had beamed a smile that could be seen for blocks when he stepped out and took the sight in. A tug at his heart as he looked at the sign. As he looked at the name. Though he was moving on, leaving his past behind, there were bits he couldn't help but to cling on to. Things he felt he'd never be able to let go.  
  
February brought along the big day. It had finally come. He had been at work under a bonnet when his assistant strolled in from the back offices.  
  
"Rob! Rob! It's happening!" Steven shouted.  
  
Robert shook his head almost confused. "What's happening?"  
  
"It's Sophie, she's in the hospital, she's having the baby."  
  
From that moment on everything felt like a blur. The baby came, a beautiful little girl that was perfect in every way. He named her Arya after a character from his favorite show, not that he would openly confess to anyone. She had small blond locks and green eyes that matched his own. She was a Sugden through and through. It had been the most perfect day, well almost the perfect day. He'd had a blip when he nearly called out for Vic to meet her new niece. Tears nearly breaking free of his eyes as he tried swallowing past the lump in his throat. The day had almost been perfect. Almost.  
  
Then her first birthday and he celebrated it with just a handful of people. A few friends from work, Connor, and Jo the nanny he had just hired to care for her when he had work. He had looked around to see no family there, no one with real connections. Arya's first birthday should have been perfect, but all he could think of is her growing up not knowing her family. He can't help but feel the guilt of having cut his family off. Of having left Victoria behind again. Her birthday was almost perfect.  
  
Wasn't long after her birthday that Robert noticed she was having problems hearing and she wasn't vocalizing like everything he read told him she should. He felt like he had been hit with a ton of bricks when the doctor broke the news. Sensorineural hearing loss is all he heard before he felt like his world was crumbling.  
  
"Her hearing isn't all gone, but if we don't act soon she could fully lose it." The doctor encouraged. "She's old enough now that we can fit her for a cochlear implant."  
  
Once he heard that she could still live a perfectly normal life he felt a weight come off his shoulder and asked a hundred questions about her condition and the implant and how it worked. He'd spent a couple of hours with the doctor going over it and several more on the internet at home afterwards. Didn't matter that there was something wrong with her, she was perfect, and he would do whatever was needed to make her happy. He went ahead and started learning sign language, wanted to be well prepared. She was his little princess; the light of his life and she would always come first.  
  
The doorbell ringing snaps him out of his thoughts. He looks down at Arya and kisses the top of her head, he turns one hand palm down, his thumb and pinky sticking out, the other fingers tucked in, as he motions it down and a bit forward. "Stay" He signs to her.  
  
"Coming." He yells, as he stands and turns, making for the door. He's beaming a smile still thinking of his little girl when he grabs the doorknob. Still has it when he opens the door. Still has it when he sees Aaron standing there.  
  
"Hiya." Aaron lets out with a nervous smile.

 

 

 

 


	4. You Deserve The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert opens his door to see Aaron standing there, it's been 4 years since they last saw each other, since they both moved on. Aaron has finally decided to fight for Robert and now they are face to face after all this time, can he win him back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! Sorry it took so long, but Christmas sort of took over, not to mention this story keeps growing and growing. Can't believe that it went from a short that should have been about 5-8k words to this, here we are at 4 chapters and counting.
> 
> As usual please feel free to leave feedback, it always helps. Specially if something isn't making sense I'd like to know so I can correct. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing this story.

 

**CHAPTER 4**

 

* * *

 

 

One single word, one very simple word, yet there's so much impact to it. Not because of what the word means, of what it conveys, but because of who it's coming from. Robert had been smiling, thinking of his little girl as he opened the door, and now he feels like the ground has been swept from underneath his feet. His breath is caught in his throat and he falters at the sight before him. His knees nearly buckle and his smile wavers. Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion, feels like the world around him has come to a stop. The noise that usually litters the air outside his flat is nowhere to be heard, as if the universe is trying to give them this moment.  
  
"Aaron... what... what are you doing here?" He asks, a slight crack in his voice.  
  
A single word is all he's gotten out... It's all he could get out and now he stands before him, the love he'd given up years ago, and all he sees is the waver in his smile. The beautiful smile that shone bright just minutes ago as he held his daughter now falters after seeing him. There's a brief moment of hesitation, a brief moment where he wants to walk away, feeling like he's already hurt him. Then he remembers that he's done fighting this, he's done fighting what he feels, he's going to do what he should have done all those years ago. He's going to fight for it, he's going to fight for him.   
  
"Robert. I..." He pauses, swallowing past the lump in his throat. "I... I had to see you. I needed to know you were alright and..." He takes a deep breath, like he's trying to conjure up strength. "Robert, I need you. I can't live without you."  
  
"No, Aaron." Robert lets out. It's so low he could barely hear it. It's so soft, coming from a fragile part of himself. The hurt in his eyes says it all. "I'm sorry Aaron, I can't... I can't do this again." He tells him, putting up his walls. He pictures them going up in his mind, sees them being reinforced. "We've moved on, we have separate lives..."  
  
"Robert, please don't push me away."  
  
"What, like you did me?" He returns, a crack in his voice. A crack that is being mirrored by the crack in the walls he had just tried to reinforce.  
  
The words coming from Robert feel like a stab to the heart, but he takes it. He knows it’s true. "I know I hurt you and not a day goes by that I wish I could take it all back. That I wish I had been strong enough, not just for me, but for the both of us. The way you were for me when Gordon came around. You needed me, and I failed you."  
  
"Aaron, please..."  
  
Aaron rushes in, placing his lips to Robert's. The kiss is soft, softer than any kiss they have ever shared before. His hands holding onto either side of Robert's face. His thumbs gingerly stroking at his skin as he gently leans in to the kiss. He pours every bit of emotion and love into it, he needs Robert to feel what he feels.  
  
Robert wants to give in, wants to melt into the kiss and accept what it could mean, but a tug at his leg pulls him back from the moment. He looks down to see Arya looking up at him, confused. She has her tiny hand by her chin, the tip of her thumb touching it, her index finger extended, she bends it twice. "Who?" She signs.  
  
Robert moves both his hands towards hers with his index fingers extended. He interlocks them once before flipping them over and interlocking them a second time. "Friend." He signs back to her before he reaches down to pick her up. He kisses he forehead and leans in close to her ear, gently saying, "This is Aaron. He's an old friend of dad's. He was my best friend." Arya smiles at Aaron then covers her face when he smiles back, hiding behind Robert's shoulder, as if embarrassed.  
  
Aaron can't help but widen his smile. Something about her brings a joy to him, makes him feel a balance he's been missing for so long. "Sorry about that, she's very shy around new people." Robert adds.  
  
His mind feeling more at ease now, the cold hits him like it had earlier. Aaron blows into his hands trying to warm them and Robert takes notice. "You wanna come in?" He asks.  
  
"No... It's... I don't want..."  
  
"Come on, I don't want you freezing out here."  
  
Aaron nods and follows in behind Robert. Still unsure about what's going on, what any of this means, Robert simply asks the only thing that came to mind. "You want a cuppa?"  
  
Aaron nods. "Yeah, that sounds great actually."  
  
"So, how long are you in town for?" Robert asks, as he sets the kettle on the stove.  
  
"However long it takes." Aaron answers immediately. There's conviction in both his voice and eyes as he looks directly into Robert's.  
  
"However long it takes for what?"  
  
"However long it takes to get you back."  
  
Robert hesitates, he knows they've been down that road. Knows better than anyone else where the road leads to. Where it lead to the last time. Somewhere he never wants to be in again. Although deep down in his heart he knows he wants nothing more, he knows he must be strong. He has other priorities now, he has a daughter that comes first. He's about to object when his phone begins to ring. _Thank God_. He thinks to himself.  
  
"Sorry, but I really need to pick this up." He puts the phone to his ear.  
  
Aaron nods and stands back watching Robert as he paces the room while he talks on the phone. Pays very close attention to everything about him. His movements, his body, his looks. It's been so long, but every inch of him has only gotten better. Even the way he's holding his daughter with his free arm nearly sends shivers down his spine.  
  
The feeling doesn't last long as Robert begins to look agitated, his voice matching the look he's carrying now. "No. Figure it out. No, I don't care what we have to move around or who we have to call in. Fuck, I don't even care if I have to do the work. This is not a client we can lose before we even get started. Yeah. Yeah. Fine, let me get Jo to watch Arya and I'll be right over." He says before ending the call and dialing Jo. "Hiya." He starts as he walks outside of earshot of Aaron only to return minutes later with a frown on his face.  
  
"What's wrong?" Aaron asks.  
  
"It's work. I need to go in and the sitter can't watch her." He says, nodding his head down to Arya.  
  
"I'll watch her." Aaron offers and notices the reluctance in Robert's face. "Oh, come on, you know how good I am with Leo. You go and take care of whatever it is you need to, and I'll watch her."

“Yeah?” Robert asks.

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” He starts. “It’ll only be for a bit. Two hours tops.” Robert promises before going down a list of anything Arya might need and where they are located in his flat. He hands Aaron a list of emergency numbers, worry spread across his face and all Aaron can do is smile and nod.

“Robert. I got this, just go. She’ll be fine. I promise.”

With that Robert leans his head down to gently speak into Arya’s ear. “Daddy needs to go to work for a bit. Jo is out of town and can’t come to see you, so Aaron will look after you until I get back. He doesn’t know how to sign so if you need anything try and speak to him. You promise to be good for Aaron, yeah?” Arya nods and Robert turns back to Aaron. “Her hearing isn’t great, but she can still hear. Just make sure you’re clear. If you put on a film for her she should be fine until I get back.” Aaron nods and Robert walks to the door grabbing his coat on the way. “I’ll make this real quick and get back as soon as possible. If you need anything, please call me, my number is on the list of emergency contacts.” He says, before stepping out the door and leaving.

Aaron is stood by the door, frozen and unsure of how to feel about how things have played out. Unsure of where they may be going. Regardless, he knows what he wants and knows he’s not going to give up without a fight. Not this time. A tug at his leg snaps him back to and he looks down to see Arya with a slight frown on her face as she points to the television. He smiles, as he kneels down to her level. Leo always responded better to people being down at his level, something he learned from watching over him whenever Paddy needed a quick babysitter. “Hiya.” He says earning a wave from her. “You know, me and your daddy used to be really close and I hope we can be again. I hope you and I can be friends.” He tells her before she reaches out grabbing a hold of his hand. She pulls at him, leads him back to the living room, to the television and he laughs. “You want to watch a film, yeah?” She nods.

Once she’s all set and on the sofa watching intently, Aaron takes his time to look around. Not that he’s being nosy, but because he’s curious about Robert’s life. The flat is definitely Robert’s style. Very modern, very clean. Parts of it very similar to the Mill. The only difference being is that Robert’s flat doesn’t feel like a home. The Mill was full of pictures of their families. Pictures of Robert and Aaron, pictures of them with Liv, pictures of them with Chas, yet here there were several picture frames, but they were all of Arya. After looking around for several minutes he’d finally found one of Robert with Arya, the only picture in the flat that Robert was in. He has a smile on his face, he looks happy, only he doesn’t. Not to him. He’s seen Robert happy, truly happy, and he doesn’t seem to be quite there. After all this time all he has to show are a few pictures of his daughter and a single one of them together, no family, no friends. Aaron’s heart breaks for him, breaks at the thought that Robert’s closed himself off again.

He heads back to the living room and takes a seat on the opposite side of Arya, giving her a quick smile before turning his eyes to the television. It’s not long until he feels a small hand wiping across his cheek. Wiping a tear, he hadn’t realized was there. He looks over to see Arya staring back at him with the same green eyes as Robert. She looks so much like him. The blond locks, the green eyes, even the freckles. It takes his breath away just thinking about it. She leans in and gives him a hug as if trying to console him, as if she could see the heartache he had been holding on to for so long. He gently squeezes into the hug feeling a flutter skip through his stomach as he holds on to her. Something about it feels so right. As if it was meant to be. “Don’t cry.” She softly says into his ear as he holds her, and it takes everything he has not break down sobbing.

 He pulls back enough so that he can see her eyes. “I’m not. I’m just really glad to see your dad again.” She smiles and quickly moves on, laughs at the television for another minute, and just as quickly is back to Aaron. She’s looking down at his arms with curiosity in her eyes.

“You have scars. Me too.” She slowly says as her tiny fingers dance around the scars on his forearm.

“Yeah?” He asks.

Arya nods in return and shows Aaron a small scrape on her knee. “See?”

“Wow, you are tough.” He tells her with a smile.

“Daddy kiss and makes it feel better.” She says before leaning in placing a gentle kiss over Aarons scars. “Also have these.” She says, as she shows him her cochlear implants and all Aaron can do is look on in amazement of the small girl. He’s in complete awe of her. She’s so young and has clearly gone through so much already, yet she stands tall like nothing holds her back.

Keeping true to his word Robert returns close to 2 hours later, to find Aaron running around his flat with Arya on his shoulders. He sees the bright smile on her face and can’t help but feel his heart skip at the sight. Something he had only dreamt about just a few years ago. A family of his own…with Aaron.

Aaron comes to a halt when he spots him. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“No, it’s okay. She seems pretty chuffed.”

Aaron smiles. “Yeah, but I think she’s also pretty nakered.”

Robert looks to Arya and points to her before touching his fingers to each side of his chest, his thumbs sticking up and elbows out, he slowly turns his hands outwards, so his thumbs stick out and his elbows drop. “You tired?” He signs to her and she nods in return.

“Here, let me.” Robert says to Aaron as he reaches out and takes Arya into his arms. He cradles her head in a hand and places a kiss to her head. “I’m going to go put her down for a nap.” He tells him as he turns and heads for the stairs.

It’s only been 3 minutes since Robert went upstairs to put Arya down for a nap, but it feels like an eternity. Aaron feels like he’s been pacing forever, going over what to say. He’s always been rubbish at voicing his feelings, has always hated even bringing them up, but this isn’t the time for that. He needs to win him back. He can’t afford to mess things up. Not again.

The low creaking of the stairs pulls him back and he turns to see Robert reaching the bottom of the steps. He can see the hesitation in his face. He knows him well enough to know what Robert is about to say, that he’s about to send him away. No way is he going to let that happen.

“Robert…can we talk?” Aaron quickly asks.

“It’s getting late, maybe you should…”

“Robert, please.” Aaron pleads, his ocean blue eyes doing most of the work.

Robert takes a deep breath, his hands on his hips. “Yeah, okay. Let me put on the kettle for real this time.” He breathes out as he turns and heads for the kitchen. He’s busying himself grabbing mugs and setting things up as Aaron walks in.

“It’s a nice place you have here.” Aaron starts off, keeping things easy.

“Thanks.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Nearly 4 years now.”

“That mean this is where you came looking for her…them?”

Robert’s shoulders and head drop the moment he heard the words. It’s something he doesn’t want to discuss. Something he never wants to remember. Bad memories, that lead to bad decisions. He lets out a harsh breath.

“Yeah. She was here in London.” He can’t even bring himself to say her name.

“How’s…” Aaron starts to ask.

“He wasn’t mine.” Robert replies, already knowing the question.

“What?” The shock in his voice says it all. Aaron walks up to the island, places his hands on the granite and leans in. “What do you mean?”

“We…we never slept together. Seb wasn’t mine.” Robert lets out, the crack in his voice reminding him of the pain he had felt. After everything, after losing his marriage, losing Aaron, losing his family, and it was all for a lie.

“What do you mean?”

Robert can’t bring himself to turn, can’t let Aaron see him this way. He has tears running down his face and can feel the swell in his eyes, he knows he’s a wreck. “I found her not too long after I left. She had a flat here in London she didn’t think anyone knew about…I knew.” He starts and lets a breath out. His hands are fisted as they lay on top of the granite countertop, his knuckles white from the pressure. “I waited outside her place. Told her she had no right to keep him away from me. I wanted to keep things civil with her but told her I would take her to court if I needed to and in the end, she confessed to me. She told me everything.” His head droops even lower, a pool of tears collects below it on the counter. “She lied about everything Aaron, about us sleeping together that night, about Seb being mine. She lied.”

Aaron now has tears of his own. The shock really hitting him. The realization of everything that he had gone through was for a lie and even worse everything that Robert had gone through. The most important person in his life suffered all alone, for a lie. The sharp pain in his heart almost too much to bare. “Why… why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you come back?”

“How could I?” He lets out between breaths. “Aaron, you were happy. You’d moved on and I was no good for you. I was no good for anyone. My dad was right all along, wasn’t he? All I ever did was ruin everything I touched.”

“That’s not true Robert.”

“I loved ya, Aaron. I cared about you, cared about you more than I cared about myself and that’s a lot. I wasn’t about to ruin your life. Wasn’t about to ruin what you had going for you now that I was out the way. You were happy Aaron and that’s all I ever wanted, was for you to be happy.” He pauses for a moment. “And let’s face it, all I ever did was hurt ya. It’s all I ever did to anyone I cared about, it was for the best that I just stayed away.”

“The best for who? For you maybe.” Aaron nearly shouts back. Anger starting to overcome him. Not anger towards Robert, but anger towards the situation. Anger towards the pain they both had lived through.

Robert scoffs. “Nothing about that was best for me. Nothing. I couldn’t handle it, Aaron.” He says, his voice cracking. He tries to swallow past the lump in his throat. It’s all out in the open now, he’s no longer the man he used to be, and he needs to come clean about everything. Needs to come clean about that night. The night he tried to make it all stop. “I tried… I tried to kill myself, Aaron.” He lets out, nearly losing his breath at the words as they come from his mouth.

Aaron falters, knees nearly buckling at what he’s just heard. His heart breaking at the thought. He knows the pain all too well and the thought of Robert going through that, going through that alone and away from anyone that cares about him, it’s almost too much to bare. “When?”

Robert nearly chuckles at the coincidence. “It’ll be about 4 years ago here in a couple of days.”

Aaron loses his breath nearly gasping. “Robert.” Is all that softly comes out.

“Took me forever to find a place that was open…was Christmas after all. Got some whiskey and got drunk, when I got home I downed a bottle of the diazepam I had. I…I just wanted it all to stop. I couldn’t take it anymore.” He stops for a moment to collect himself. “I couldn’t live without ya.”

“So why didn’t you come back. We could’ve…we could’ve figured it out. You and me, Robert. We could’ve…”

“That’s the point Aaron, there was no you and me. You were happy, and I was a mess. I couldn’t go back and destroy your life. It’s all I ever do, I ruin things.”

“Stop it, Robert. Stop saying that because it’s not true.”

“How many times did I drive you to hurt yourself? How many times did I hurt you myself? I don’t deserve to be happy. I deserve every bad thing that’s ever happened to me. Look me in the eye and tell me it’s not true.”

“Robert, you can’t blame yourself for everyone else’s mistakes. Cutting myself, hurting myself, that’s all on me. It’s part of me, it’ll always be part of me.” Aaron returns as tears run down his face, he’s trying not to shout even though he wants to. He needs to break through, needs to get to Robert somehow, but he knows Arya is asleep just upstairs. “You remember when you told me about your dad, yeah?”

Robert still hasn’t turned, still can’t look Aaron in the face. He’s afraid of what he’ll do if he gives into him, into the ocean blue eyes that still occupy his dreams. He nods in response to Aaron’s question.

“That day… I told you, you are amazing. I meant it, Robert. You are amazing. You were back then, and you are even more so today.”

“Shut up.”

“You are. I mean it, and if you can’t see that then please, just walk up there and take a good look at your little girl because she is the most amazing thing I have ever seen Robert, and you know what?” He pauses, hoping Robert will turn around. “You did that. You, all by yourself. Even after everything you went through, you still managed to raise the most amazing little girl. You may not believe it Robert, but you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve the world.” Aaron says, walking around the island and as he stands behind Robert, he places a hand on his shoulder.

“Aaron.” Robert says softly.

“Yeah?”

“I think you should go.”

“But Robert…” Aaron tries to protest.

“I just… I just need to clear my head.” Robert quickly returns. Still hasn’t turned around. He wipes his hands across his face, wiping away at the tears.

“Yeah, okay.” Aaron says nodding his head. “Will you see me… if I come back tomorrow?”

There’s a moment of silence that hangs in the air, a moment that makes Aaron’s stomach drop. He doesn’t want this to be over before he even had the chance to fight, to truly fight, but the worry eases as he sees Robert nodding his head. “Yeah.” Robert answers, and with that Aaron slowly turns and makes for the door. He’s reached out, has taken the first step and there’s hope. As little as it may be, there’s hope and he doesn’t want to push it, doesn’t want to ruin the steps that have been taken.

He’s grabbing onto the doorknob when he feels it. When he feels the hand on his shoulder spinning him around and the second one taking him by the neck, pulling him into a kiss. His eyes go heavy, they close instantly as he gives into the feeling. It’s all too much like a memory. The softness of the lips he’s longed for years. Then the all too familiar yet almost forgotten warmth of Robert’s forehead pressed against his. He slowly flutters his eyes open to see the soft green eyes looking back at his.

It had been too much, too many emotions running through him. Everything Aaron had said was everything he didn’t realize he needed to hear. Robert finally breaks in a moment of weakness, finally lets his guard down. He doesn't vocalize it, but Aaron can see it. He sees it in his eyes, in the way his body has relaxed, in his breathing, and he doesn't hesitate. He's instantly pushing him back towards the kitchens, slamming him against the fridge. Glasses toppling over breaking on the ground, but neither of them flinch. Aaron has him pinned and his eyes are trained on Robert's and they slowly move down to his lips. His own tongue tracing his bottom lip before he dives in, before his lips are on Robert's. His heart is racing, feels like it’s about to jump out of his chest, feels like it's just coming back to life. This is it. This is how it should always feel with him. This is what his heart has been longing for all these years.  
  
There's a push from Robert's lips as they part, as his tongue dips into Aaron’s mouth, his own tongue swirling along it fighting for dominance. There was nothing soft about the kiss, about any of this. There is too much want between them, a hunger, a desperation that's been neglected for far too long. Robert tries to move forward, almost hesitating, but Aaron shoves him back without breaking the kiss and just as quickly grabs at Robert's shirt and rips it open, buttons flying in all directions. He moves away from Robert's lips. He’s kissing and licking down his jaw, down his neck, down his chest where he stops to lick and bite at his nipple before trailing down his stomach as his hands make quick work of his belt. He's nearly on his knees when Robert stops him.  
  
"Robert, please." Aaron pleads. He needs this more than air.  
  
"It's just... there's glass all over the floor." Robert replies, guiding him up by his arms before he's being pinned against the fridge again.  
  
Aaron runs his hands down Robert's sides before they reach around cupping at his arse. There's force there as he squeezes at it, and then he's pulling him in before he lifts him up. Robert instinctively wraps his legs around Aaron's waist as he grinds himself against Aaron's stomach. He leans down and furiously takes Aaron's lips, parting them with his tongue as he melts into his arms. He's so caught up in the kiss he doesn't even realize that Aaron has walked them over to the living room where he throws him down on the sofa. Aaron looks down, taking in every inch of his body remembering every last curve, every last freckle, and every last muscle. He licks at his lips as he reaches down, grabbing a hold to Robert’s trousers and pulling them off along with his boxers in one fell swoop.

Aaron looks down marveling at Robert, his body aching for him, he grabs a hold of his shirt and quickly pulls it over his head, tossing it aside before making quick work of his trousers and boxers as well. Robert tosses his head back gasping as he feels Aaron’s mouth on him, taking him in, in one quick motion. His hand holding on to the base of his cock as he slowly works his mouth up and down the shaft. His motions are slow at first but quickly become fast, furious, the lust taking over. Robert gasps every time he feels himself hitting the back of Aaron’s throat, a pleasure almost inexplicable. He’s running his fingers through the fluffy hair as Aaron engulfs him and he nearly whimpers when he pulls off.

Even as he sucked him off he couldn’t take his eyes off Robert, it feels unreal. He’s keeping his eyes trained on him almost afraid it’s a dream that will vanish at any given moment. He sees Robert throw his head back in ecstasy and sees the vein in his neck, can’t help himself from pulling off Robert’s cock and diving onto his neck. He sees the vein and licks at it first before taking a quick nip at it. It’s always turned him on to see the vein straining at his neck, it’s just there begging to be nipped at. Robert moans into the bite and pulls Aaron onto him. Their chests pressing against each other, they kiss as if their lives depend on it, making up for all the time lost, only breaking to catch their breath.

Robert again pulls him in tighter as if trying to make sure this is all real, he wraps his arms around Aaron’s back and tries to sit up, but Aaron shoves him back down as he sits up and straddles Robert. He reaches back behind him and stokes at Robert’s cock before rubbing it against his entrance all the while keeping his eyes trained on Robert’s. He puts his palm to his mouth and spits into it before reaching back again and using the spit on Robert’s cock, he lines him up and slowly lowers himself onto it. He winces at the pain, it’s been too long and feels like taking him in for the first time. It takes him a moment to adjust to Robert’s size, but once the sting has faded he begins to move. He grinds himself at first rubbing his own cock on against Robert’s stomach, he cups his palms over it and slowly fucks into them as he grinds on Robert. He throws his own head back, moaning at the pleasure before he starts to raise and lower himself onto Robert. Slow at first and quickly picking up pace. He can feel the orgasm building up, he knows he won’t last much longer and by the look of Robert’s face he can tell he won’t either. He starts to raise himself quick and slamming himself down harder with every thrust.

Every movement harsh and fast, there’s something very aggressive about it, something primal, that they don’t even speak. Soon enough their guttural moans tell them they’ve both came, and they collapse onto one another. Robert and Aaron both physically and emotionally exhausted succumb into each other’s embrace and lull themselves to sleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robert's given into a moment of weakness, but he may be determined not to fall back onto his past. Can Aaron hold onto him this time?


	5. Morning Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After giving into their feelings and sleeping together, Aaron sneaks out during the night. Robert wakes to find him gone, only to feel relief. Aaron feels crushed when Robert tells him what happened the night before was a mistake, but he continues to fight for what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is finally here! I've been drying to finish this one but I kept getting stuck ever so often and I didn't want to mess it up because there were a few moments I really wanted to nail down. Hope it all reads okay and you guys enjoy it. Hope you all like those special moments between Aaron and Arya.

 

**CHAPTER 5**

 

* * *

Aaron had only briefly fallen asleep with Robert in his arms before he woke, his mind racing and heart beating like it was about to leap out of his chest. Everything felt right, it all felt as it should, like it used to. Robert’s head laid on his chest, his arm wrapped across Aaron’s stomach, almost as if clinging to something he was afraid to lose. He knew he wanted this, but also knew that Robert needed to wrap his head around it. He’d already asked Aaron to leave so he could clear his head before they gave into their feelings for one another. He needs to give Robert the time to think it through.  He wanted this more than anything and saw it all within his grasp, and he doesn’t want to ruin this. He kisses the top of Robert’s head and gently slides out of bed. Quietly he dresses himself before heading downstairs and to the kitchen, leaving a note on the fridge door where Robert would easily find.

 

_Robert,_

_I don’t know where to start or even what to say really. I’m still rubbish at this. I guess I should start by saying that I want this. I want this more than I could possibly tell you, but I don’t want to push you into something you may no longer want. You wanted to clear your head earlier and I think you should. Please think about it, think about us, think about what you want and if you can see me being a part of it. Please know I’m not running away this time. I meant it when I said that I’m going to be here as long as it takes. I’ll be back later._

_Aaron_

 

Part of him hated sneaking out the way he did, but the other part of him was buzzing with hope. He couldn’t help but nearly skip all the way down to his car or humming along to the music playing in his car on the way to the hotel he’d checked into before heading to Robert’s. Sleep wasn’t even on his mind when he got to his room, no way he could lay down and sleep, not after everything that had happened. Moments from earlier in the night replaying over and over. Moments with Robert, moments with Arya. His heart skipping beats just thinking about them both. There was something so special about Robert’s little girl that made him feel pride, not in himself, but pride in Robert. Pride in what Robert was capable of, pride in what an amazing job he’d done raising her. A smile spreads across his face just thinking about her, he walks over to the desk in his room and pulls out his laptop quickly connecting to the hotel’s wi-fi and begins to tap away at the keyboard.

He’s not even sure how long it’s been when he finally stops, but he wipes at his eyes as they strain from the constant focus on the screen. A loud yawn escapes his mouth as he looks down to the watch he has sitting on the desk next to his computer, Robert’s watch, the one he’d been holding onto for years now. “Fuck.” Slips out of his mouth as he notices the time it’s half past 8 in the morning. He’d planned to be back to Robert’s around noon so if he was going to get any sleep now was the time. He closed his laptop and headed for the bed, dropping himself onto it and closing his eyes. A grin on his face as he felt himself dozing off, Robert’s within his grasp and he’s not letting him go this time.

A bright light glaring right at his face slowly pulls him from his slumber, but it’s not until the soft buzzing of his alarm goes off that he fully wakes. His eyes are still closed as he breathes in, taking in the scent he’s nearly forgotten, and he squeezes at the body his arm is wrapped around, he squeezes until he realizes it’s not a body, it’s not Aaron, it’s just a pillow. Robert finally opens his eyes realizing Aaron’s not there and for a brief moment he’s not quite sure what to feel. As he sits up, relief is all that comes to him. Every part of him wants to hurt, wants to hate himself for letting him back in if even for just that moment, but then he remembers the reason for the alarm that woke him. He remembers Arya and he knows that she comes first. Nothing else _should_ matter. Still, he feels the hurt in his chest, the hurt in his heart. He squeezes his eyes shut holding on to his chest for a moment and lets out a breath before getting up and putting on some joggers and throwing on a tee. He heads out of his room and stops by Arya’s, looking inside he sees her sleeping in her bed, and a smile spreads across his face. _She’s all that matters._

He heads down the stairs telling himself what happened the night before was a mistake and wishing it had only been a dream, if it had he wouldn’t be driving himself crazy thinking about it. He wouldn’t have to worry about what it meant, about how to take it back. As he walks into the kitchen it becomes certainly clear that it wasn’t a dream. Broken glass littered the kitchen floor, he makes for the broom closet and makes quick work of the glass. He makes sure that every last bit is cleared, he needs to make sure it won’t be a danger for his little girl. Once done, he starts pulling plates and pans from the cabinets as he’s getting ready to prepare breakfast. It’s not until he sees it that his stomach drops. A large note stuck to the fridge door. He reaches out to grab it and pulls it in reading it, suddenly he feels like the floor has been pulled from below his feet. Suddenly it all feels too real. Had Aaron just left to never be heard from again, would have been too easy and luck is never on his side.

Robert paces about the kitchen with the note in hand as he reads it again for the hundredth time, he tries to ignore the flutter in his stomach, doesn’t want to accept it. He can’t. He can’t afford to repeat the Christmas from 4 years ago, not now. Not when he has a daughter to think about. A daughter whose happiness means more to him than his own ever will. He closes his eyes and tells himself he has to be strong, he has to put her first no matter how much his heart may want this. The small thud of footsteps coming down the stairs pulls him from his thoughts as he realizes he’s supposed to be making breakfast for Arya. As she reaches the bottom of the staircase a smile spreads across his face and he feels resolute. She’s all that matters, he knows what he has to do. With his right hand forming a C shape, Robert runs it down his chest before leaning in a bit forward raising his eyebrows and pointing at Arya. “Are you hungry?” He signs to her, with a pouty face she nods. He smiles and walks to her, picking her up into his arms. “You hungry little monkey, you.” He whispers into her ear before pretending to bite at her neck, tickling her.

Arya is still giggling when she pushes back from Robert, she looks him in the eyes with a beaming smile before she reaches to his ear. “Can Aaron come and play?” She asks softly.

“Aaron?” He replies, caught off guard by her reply. Besides Jo, Arya isn’t keen with opening up to adults. She isn’t too keen on adults in general. She’s always been too shy.

Arya nods as she leans back enough to move both her hands. With her tiny little index fingers extended on both hands she interlocks them once before flipping them over and interlocking them a second time. "Friend." She signs back to his question.

“You and Aaron are friends?” He asks bemused.

Arya simply nods a resounding yes, with a smile on her face.

It’s 2 days until Christmas and its cold outside, there’s a bite to the air and snow still lays powdered on the ground. There’s a few people out including a family of three walking together as the child throws snowballs around. Aaron’s sat outside on a bench just across the street from Robert’s flat feeling a pit in his stomach as he remembers the last happy Christmas he had. He remembers a morning so similar to this one. A morning Robert, Liv, and himself had gone for a walk through the village. He remembers Liv and himself starting a snowball fight with David and Jacob. A sudden heartache for memories past hits him, too much to bear he shakes it off and turns his eyes to Robert’s flat. He’d been staring at it for nearly an hour until his mind was distracted by the family. The beautiful brick faced building stands tall at 2 floors with white boxed in windows, it’s a beautiful home and he’s not even sure how he missed it before. He’s not even sure he could recollect what the inside looked like. _Come on, you idiot… Quit wasting time._ Aaron goads himself. He pushes his thoughts aside and gets on his feet making a straight line for the flat.

Arya sits at the island counter watching in amazement, she claps her hands as the pancake is flung into the air and Robert turns over his shoulder to wink at her. She holds out one hand palm up and meets it with her other using her small fingers. “Again.” She signs to him. Robert smiles back and flips the pancake in the air a second time as Arya claps and giggles. Seeing her smile and listening to her giggles is all he really needs, or at least it’s what he tries to convince himself of. He sets a plate of pancakes in front of her and drizzles them with syrup before pouring himself a cup of coffee and taking a seat next to her.

“I’m sorry I had to go to work last night, monkey.” Robert says gently in Arya’s direction as he cuts into her stack of pancakes. He makes sure to cut it all up into small portions before handing her the fork.

“Okay. Aaron was here.” She replies, and Robert can’t help but feel a pang of guilt. Guilt for wanting Aaron back in his life. Guilt for letting her get to know him only for him to leave and never return.

 _It’s not fair on her. It’s hard enough for her to make friends as it is. You can’t let her get used to people who won’t be sticking around, people that aren’t going to be a part of her life._ “You know, Aaron’s only here for a day or so. He’ll be going back home soon.” Robert is trying to let her down easily, trying to make up some excuse when the doorbell rings.

Robert looks towards the door then back to Arya reaching a hand out with his palm down, his thumb and pinky sticking out, the other fingers tucked in, and he motions it down and a bit forward. "Stay"

He’s not expecting anyone and going by the note Aaron had left on the fridge he’s pretty sure who’s at the door. As he walks to the door he can’t help but feel the flutter in his stomach, he slows down and stops himself, willing himself to reinforce the walls he’d built up. Everything is forgotten the moment he opens the door and all he sees are the ocean blue eyes looking straight back at him. “Hiya.” Aaron says.

 _Stay strong. Stay strong. Stay strong._ Robert keeps thinking to himself. “Hey.” He replies back with a hesitant smile. His heart breaking further for what he’s about to do. For turning Aaron away and asking him to go back to his life. For asking him to lie for him and not telling anyone else where he is. The past is exactly where this should all be, and he can’t go back. He takes a deep breath. “Listen, Aaron. What happened last…”

“Aaron!” A small shout comes from behind Robert as Arya makes her way running from the kitchen. She stops and hides behind Robert’s leg as she joins them, slightly peeking out from around it, she smiles and waves at Aaron.

He returns the smile before kneeling down and placing his hand towards his face. The tips of his fingers touching his chin, his thumb sticking up, he waves his hand out before bringing it back towards his face. His thumb is near his chin and his fingers are all up, he slowly circles them down to meet his thumb. “Morning beautiful.” He signs to her or does his best at it, and he feels a nervous wreck the entire time doing it. He’d only spent his entire sleepless night looking into sign language. He had spent the entire night learning a few words. He even spent some time in front of the mirror practicing them, feeling like a complete muppet doing it. He couldn’t help it though, he couldn’t stop thinking about her, about Arya. Something had clicked with her the night before, he felt a connection, it was something he couldn’t deny, it was something he wouldn’t.

Aaron had just met his little girl the night before, but here he was signing to her. Calling her beautiful no less. All Robert can do is watch in amazement as he holds back the tears fighting at his eyes, even after all these years Aaron can’t help but surprise him. “Can I?” Aaron says looking up at Robert, as he nods to Arya. Robert nods in response and Aaron quickly reaches out and takes Arya into his arms.

Aaron stands, holding Arya close to his chest, looking into Robert’s eyes. “Can I come in?” He asks and waits patiently for a response. Robert seems a bit choked up and it takes him a minute to nod, stepping away from the doorway, giving Aaron room to come in.

Robert looks over to Arya and leans in close to her ear. “How about you watch a film while daddy talks to Aaron?” He asks her softly garnering a smile and a nod. “Here?” He gestures to Aaron to hand her over.

“No, let me.” Aaron replies. “I know just the one.” He says walking towards the living room. He turns on the TV and loads the film he learned was her favorite the night before. Arya hops onto the couch with a massive smile on her face and Aaron leaves her to it, walking over to Robert who’s in the kitchen preparing some tea.

“Aaron.” Robert decides to go first, to rip off the band aid quickly. No point in prolonging the pain. “It was a mistake.”

“What?”

“Last night. Last night was a mistake. I… I don’t know what came over me. I should have known better.”

“No, Robert.” He tries to protest.

“No, Aaron. Please, just listen.” Robert pleads. Aaron nods and Robert continues. “Last night was a mistake on so many levels. Starting with the fact that we’ve been apart for 4 years, Aaron. 4 years. We were so reckless, not even using any protection, you don’t even know if I’ve been with anyone else.”

Aaron lightly nods. “Look. I get that. I do and under any other circumstance yeah, that was stupid.” He starts and pauses, almost trying to find the right words. “But it’s you Robert. I trust you. I trust you with my life and I know you never would have put me in any danger and I know you know I’d never put you in danger either. I’ve only been with… I’ve only been with him since you and I always used protection with him and of course I got tested after I broke it off with him.” Aaron informs him, gives him an embarrassed look. There’s a question there, but he can’t quite seem to speak it.

Robert however can read him like a book. He sees the look on Aaron’s face and knows exactly what he’s thinking. What he’s ashamed to ask. “I’ve only been with 1 person…once, since you and yeah of course I got tested afterwards.”

“Not really what I meant… Like I said. I know you. I know you wouldn’t put my life in any danger. I just… Guess I just wanted to know if you had been with anyone else.”

Robert scoffs. “How could I?”

Aaron scrunches his brows, confused at the reply.

“Aaron, it’s only ever been you.” He says, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I told you once that you were it for me. You’re all I wanted. There was no moving on from you, not in that way at least. After you, I… that part of my life was over and after _that_ Christmas when… after that everything changed.”

“And her.” Aaron asks nodding towards the living room. He’s trying to change to the subject to something easier. He can tell that Christmas night is something hard for Robert to think about. He knows the feeling all too well.

Robert smiles as he turns his gaze to her. “She’s the reason everything changed. After I’d lost everything, after that stupid mistake, when I was in the hospital I thought about everything. Thought about that day when my dad made me leave and remembering my dad only reminded me of how I felt when Seb was born, when I first held him. I remembered it being the best feeling I’d had in a long time, and I wanted that…I wanted to feel that again, I wanted to be a dad. Her being born, it gave me a purpose when I’d lost everything.”

“Her mum? Is she the one person you’ve been…”

“She doesn’t have a mum. Well, she does, but she doesn’t.” Robert says before taking a deep breath, stopping himself from rambling. “She was a surrogate, we still talk occasionally, and I send her pictures.” He tries to answer the question he knew Aaron tried to ask. As much as he wants to give him hope that there is a possibility for them, he knows he can’t. He knows he shouldn’t.

Aaron can’t help but feel a bit of relief. He feels like an arse for it, but the thought of Robert with anyone else is something he can’t quite handle. It’s something he was never good with handling. It’s what led to his jealousy with Rebecca. It’s what led to so many of their fights. None of that matters now, it’s all in the past and all he wants now is for them to move forward, to never look back.

“I left you a note.” Aaron says nodding towards the fridge. “You read it?”

Robert nods, there’s hesitation in his eyes, hesitation Aaron needs to overcome.

“I mean it, Robert. I want this.” He says, grabbing for Robert’s hand and placing it on his own chest. “It’s you and me. It always has been. It always will be.”

Robert pulls back, it kills him to do it, but he pulls back. He slips his hand free from Aaron’s and looks away. “Aaron.” He says softly. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I meant it when I said last night was a mistake. There is no going back. No you and me. Not anymore.”

“Robert, please. Why are you being like this?” Aaron asks, trying to keep his cool, the tears in his eyes showing the opposite.

“Because… Because I broke my own heart loving you. I loved you, Aaron. I loved you more than I ever thought possible, and it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I was never good enough for you. I never deserved you." Robert starts, his voice breaking at nearly every word. "Breaking your heart, hurting ya the way I did, it broke me, and losing ya..." He pauses taking in a breath. "You already know what happened, I can’t go through that again. I have a daughter to think about now. She comes first, she’s all that matters.” Robert tells him, doing everything he can not to shout, even though it’s all he wants to do.  
  
“Don’t do that." Aaron nearly shouts himself. "Don’t use her as an excuse, Robert. Yeah, I get that she’s important. She should be. That little girl in there is something special. She’s amazing, but so are you. You did that, she turned out the way she did because of you. She’s amazing because of you. Despite of what you think, you’re a good person and you deserve to be happy as well. You deserve to be loved every bit as much as she does. Robert, you deserve the fucking world." He lets out between sobs as tears run free from his eyes.

"Robert... I know I messed up, okay. Trust me, I fucking know it. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about that night, the night I let you leave. It's the biggest mistake of my life and I'll never stop hating myself for it. You were always strong for me, always. No matter how much I tried pushing you away, how much I tried scaring you into running, you never gave up on me. But the moment things turned, the moment you needed me to be strong for you, I let you down. I failed you." He says between sobs. "You can hate me, you can be angry with me, but please don't push me away." He closes his eyes, he’s reaching deep, summoning every bit of strength he can, he’s not giving up. He’s about open his eyes when he feels the soft skin touch his face. Robert’s hand is on his cheek, his thumb wiping away the tear running down his face.

“I could never hate ya, Aaron.” Robert says looking into his eyes. “But, this, us… It’s not so simple. It never has been, has it?”

Aaron chuckles as he leans into Robert’s touch, melting into it. “Didn’t matter, still doesn’t. Messed up forever, remember. I still want that more than anything”

“I have a life here now, Aaron. I have Arya and I can’t fall apart, if I mess things up with her… it would kill me.”

“You won’t. I promise. You’re already the best dad she could ask for, and I’ll be there with you. With her. Just give me a chance.”

There's nothing Robert wants more than to welcome him with open arms. To just give and let Aaron back in, but there's still the voice in his head telling him he's not good enough, that he'll find a way to mess things up. The feeling is there, it’s all too real and it nags at him, but it melts away the moment he feels Aaron's hand cupping his cheek. His heart skips a beat and feels like it's coming to life, as if it beats for Aaron's touch. For Aaron's love. As if it beats just for him. It makes everything else melt away, all his worries, all his fears, all his insecurities.   
  
"I've been so lost without ya." Robert sobs out, finally caving and collapsing into Aaron’s arms, hugging him, squeezing tightly, holding onto him as if his life depended on it.   
  
"I'm so sorry, Robert." Aaron cries into his shoulder, squeezing back, his hands fisting into Robert’s shirt. He holds on to him for a moment before pulling back and looking into his eyes. “I love you, Robert.”

“I love you more.”

“Still?”

“Yeah, still. I never stopped, you know. I thought about you, every day.” Robert admits, leaning his forehead to Aaron’s.

Aaron wraps his arms around Robert’s neck and stands on his toes, reaching up to kiss Robert. The kiss is soft and longing with so much promise for things to come, they sway in place for a moment until they’re pulled from their moment by a small giggle. The both turn to see Arya staring at them with a smile on her face.

Robert chuckles and leans his forehead to Aaron’s. “Not sure how I’m going to explain all of this to her.”

“I don’t envy you.” Aaron jokes back.

“Aaron… not that I want to put pressure on you, but this?” Robert gestures between them. “Us? Is this really what you want?”

“Of course, I want this.”

“Good, coz I think she’s a bit taken with ya.”

“Good, coz I don’t try and learn sign language for just anyone you know.” He says before waving Arya over as he reaches out his arms, he picks her up in one fell swoop before pulling Robert back in with Arya sandwiched between them. He reaches over to kiss Robert then looks back to Arya and smiles as she giggles.

“I can’t believe you did that. You spent all night doing that didn’t ya?” Robert asks.

“Couldn’t stop thinking about her.” He says beaming a smile at her. “This little monkey here is a keeper.”

There’s a warmth enveloping him as the light spills over his face, the morning light coming through the window beaming right onto his eyes and he groggily throws his free arm over his face. He’s ready to throw a pillow at the window as if it would fix the problem before he hears the low grumble. Robert’s head is on his chest exactly in the same way it had been the previous morning. He runs his fingers through the blond locks as he breathes him in and suddenly the light doesn’t bother him. Nothing does, nothing could. Everything feels right again. He hears the low grumble once more before he feels something wet on chest. He looks down to see the tears in Robert’s eyes.

“Please don’t ever leave me again, Aaron. I couldn’t handle it.” Robert lets out in that soft voice he only uses for Aaron. That voice Aaron has missed for 4 years, the one he still hadn’t heard since he arrived in London until this moment and his heart nearly sinks because of the words it spoke.

“Never.” Aaron replies. Lifting Robert’s face by his chin, he looks him in the eyes. “You hear me? Never again.”

“And Arya? She’s part of the package now… you sure you can deal?” The question slips out, he knows Aaron’s already answered, but the slight insecurity that it might be too much for Aaron gets the better of him.

“You kidding me? I spent hours in front of a mirror looking like a muppet practicing the bits of sign language I learned. You think I’d do that if I wasn’t sure? Robert, she’s a part of you and I love her already.”

Robert gives him a soft smile. “It’s just… It’s a lot to just jump into.”

“You mean the way you took on Liv. No questions asked, you just accepted her, and you know what a pain she is. If you can do it, so can I.” Aaron jokes back, doesn’t want this moment to get too serious.

“Will you stay, with us, for Christmas?” Robert asks. “We can figure things out after, but Arya wants you here for Christmas. I want you here for Christmas.”

“Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“I’m sure Chas’ll be pleased.” Robert jokes.

“Shit.” Aaron hisses out. He’d been so caught up with Robert and fixing things that he’d been avoiding her calls and messages. He’d been afraid of how he would react, of what he might say. “She’s going to be in a state.”

“Why?”

“We had a row before I left, she tried stopping me, I said some things and I haven’t spoken to her since. That and I’ve been ignoring her calls and messages since I got here.”

“Aaron!” Robert nags him.

“I just… I couldn’t take her bad mouthing you.”

“She’s your mum, Aaron.”

“Really? You going to lecture me about family?” Aaron quickly fires back. “What about Vic?”

“That’s different…”

“You know she’s worried sick about you. She misses you Robert. She loves you.”

Robert lets out a deep sigh. He knows Aaron’s right. He’s been a coward, running away from everything, from everyone. It’s time to set things right. Time for Arya to meet her aunt, her family.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but you’re right.

“What?” Aaron questions smiling.

“And I can’t believe I’m going to say this either, but maybe we should invite them over for Christmas. I know it’s extremely short notice, but maybe we should.”

“Invite who?”

“Vic, Chas, and Liv.”

“You mad?”

“Well, Arya should meet her auntie Vic.”

“And me mum? You know she hates you.”

“Well, the sooner we get this over with, the better?”

Aaron’s attempt to keep the tension low didn’t quite go as planned, but a savior arrives in the form of Arya who runs into the room and climbs onto the bed. She’s jumping about when Aaron moves his hand towards his face with the tips of his fingers touching his chin, his thumb sticking up, he waves his hand out before reeling it back to his face. Placing his thumb is near his chin and his fingers are all up, he slowly circles them down to meet his thumb. “Morning beautiful.” He signs to her, proud of himself feeling like he’s mastered the phrase. She beams a smile at him and then returns the same first sign followed by her hand sticking up all fingers pointing out, with her thumb pointed to her forehead she taps her thumb on it.

Aaron scrunches his face in confusion, he doesn’t recognize the second sign she formed. It’s not one he looked up. He looks over to Robert and notices the tears in his eyes. “Morning daddy.” Arya says lowly, answering the question Aaron hadn’t had the chance to ask. She’s only known him for over a day and she’s already reading him as well as her dad. Aaron beams a smile back at her, feeling the butterflies come alive in his stomach. Hearing her call him that is not something he expected, not something he ever thought he’d be called, but everything about it felt right. It felt better than alright. If he wasn’t already sure about his place in Robert and Arya’s life, it was now even more clear.

“Robert.” Aaron lets out turning from Arya to him. “I don’t want to waste any more time, I already did that for 4 miserable years. I’m done wasting time. I need you, I need this.” He pauses as tears run down his cheeks.

“Will you marry me?”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I know some might think Aaron's moving too fast, but is he really? They have a past, they are the love of each other's lives and Aaron feels like he's wasted so much time already. He's not about to waste any more. The question is, how will Robert react? What will his response be? His doubts keep clouding his judgment, will they hold him back?


	6. Ask Me Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert answers Aaron's proposal and comes face to face with the family he had left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual - this took me a bit longer than expected, but I went back and forth on a few things. I hope it still reads correct and isn't a complete messy jumble. Hope you enjoy and as always please feel free to leave comments :)

 

**CHAPTER 6**

 

* * *

  

 

“It’s Christmas eve Victoria, Christmas eve!” Chas shouts walking into the pub from the kitchen, trailing behind Victoria. “And I have no idea where he is or when he’s coming back. You must know something. He’s gone looking for that no good brother of yours.” She continues, chasing behind Victoria whose just about had it with her.  
  
“You know what?” Victoria finally turns to Chas looking her straight in the eyes, she’s had enough. She’s had it with the accusations, the way she’s being talked to, and most of all, the way Chas talks about her brother. The way she talks about Robert. “I don’t care if this is your pub anymore! I’m sick of ya talking about Robert like that! What did he ever do to ya? I know he messed up, but he tried to make things right. He even stayed away, he never came back, and I haven’t seen or heard from him in years because of it!” Victoria shouts, tears running down her face. "You go around constantly talking about him, calling him a cheater and a liar, both things you’ve done plenty of yourself, so maybe you should get off your high horse for once and stop being such a cow!”  
  
The words leave her in shock, leave her speechless, it’s the second time within a few days that Chas has been called out on her hypocrisy and still, it leaves her stunned.  
  
“Oi, don’t talk to her like that.” Liv comes to Chas' aide walking in from the back room where she had been watching television. She’s no longer the 15-year-old girl Victoria had first met, though Aaron still treats her all the same, it's the main reason she's staying with Chas and not alone at the Mill. She stands taller that Victoria and carries the same attitude she always had. Liv steps before Victoria, stands in between her and Chas, almost challenging her.  
  
“You.” Victoria is quick to fire back. “Don’t you get involved. This doesn’t concern you. This is between us.” Victoria gestures between Chas and herself.  
  
“If it concerns my family, you better believe it concerns me.”  
  
“Yeah…Robert was your family once, but that didn’t stop you from forgetting him, did it?”  
  
The words sting, Liv is taken aback by the words. She’s old enough now to know what she had done, to know how wrong she had been to treat Robert the way she had, how spiteful she had been. She’s fighting back tears just thinking about it. Thinking about how Robert was there for her when no one else was. How he took care of her when Aaron went to prison, how he refused to send her back to her mum, Sandra. No one else was there for her, no one else could be bothered. Robert was there. He was there with open arms and even with the grief she gave him, he still did his best to take care of her. It's something she hates herself for. “Vic, please… please don’t remind me.”  
  
“You ladies want to keep it down over there. Some of us are just trying to enjoy our brekky here!” Ross shouts from the corner booth where he’s sat with Moses before he turns back to him. “Come on, pal. Let's get you cleaned up." He says taking Moses's hand and leading him to the loo.  
  
“I’m... I’m sorry Liv, I just can’t take her slagging him off every chance she gets.” Victoria says nodding past Liv to Chas.  
  
"She's upset. She just wants Aaron to be happy."  
  
"And so do you, don’t you?"  
  
"You know I do."  
  
"Well, you're not slagging Rob off every chance you get."  
  
"I get it, trust me, I do. She just...she doesn’t know him the way we do. She doesn't know how great he really is...deep down." Liv says with a laugh, managing to defuse the tension considerably. Now that she's gotten things to calm down she turns to Chas. "Now, can you please stop talking about Robert like that. She doesn't appreciate it and quite honestly, neither do I."  
  
"I'm sorry, luv. I just...I need to know he's okay. It's just, tomorrow's Christmas and he should be here, with his family."  
  
"He's a grown man, Chas. Let him be. Besides, did it ever occur to you that he's exactly where he should be? Where he wants to be."  
  
"Oh, don't you go changing your tune missy."  
  
"Seriously Chas, that's enough." Liv huffs out her own frustration with Chas building. She's ready to go back at her when the door opening grabs their attention. Much to their surprise a small boy with blond hair strolls in on his own, light shouts following him in. Light shouts in a familiar voice. A voice none of them had expected to hear again.   
  
"Seb, please wait up." The woman's voice calls out behind the boy.  
  
Victoria and Liv both freeze in place, well aware of who the boy could be. Well aware of who the voice behind him belongs to. Victoria stares at the boy as he stops just inside the door, she's about to walk over to him when Rebecca walks in. "Vic..." Rebeca lets out in a meek voice.  
  
"Rebecca! Where have ya been? Is Robert with ya? Is that my nephew?" Victoria starts spewing out questions.   
  
Every question only makes Rebecca look more and more confused as Victoria lets them out.  
  
"Vic... I... I don't know where Robert is. I thought..." Rebecca tries to answer.  
  
"What do you mean you don't know where he is? He left not too long after you did, he went looking for you, for Seb. Please tell me you haven't kept him away from his son this whole time? From my nephew?" Victoria asks.  
  
"I... I don't understand. Did he not tell you?"  
  
"Tell me what? Rebecca, please. I've not seen him in four years. He must've found ya. You have to know where he is" Victoria bursts out in full panic mode, nothing about the situation is making sense. How could she not know where he is? How could he not have found her? What could she be so confused about? All things that run through her mind making her feel even more lost than she had earlier in the day.  
  
Rebecca turns her gaze away for a moment, she looks like she wants to run, like she wants to hide something. The look doesn’t go unnoticed and Victoria picks up on it. “Rebecca, please just tell me. I can tell you know something, it’s written all over your face.”  
  
“I… I did see Robert. He found me shortly after I left, he knew exactly where I was.” She says with a huff. “He always seemed to be a step ahead of me.”  
  
“But…I thought you didn’t know where he was?”  
  
“I don’t Vic. I don’t know where he is. The last time we spoke he said he never wanted to see me again.”  
  
“What? Why? What happened? How could he walk away from his son?” Victoria shoots off question after question, losing faith in her brother, thinking the worst of him. She’s always tried to defend him, but he always made it so hard, and now she’s finding out that he walked away from his own son.  
  
“Seb’s not his.” Rebecca quickly lets out, looking uncomfortable. It looks like this is the last thing she wants to be doing.  
  
“What do you mean, he’s not his.” Victoria asks, tears fighting to break free.  
  
“Robert’s not his father. He never was. We never…we never slept together. He passed out drunk, Vic.”  
  
Victoria’s tears run down her face, the revelation leaving her in shock. After everything that happened, after the way everyone treated Robert, after the way she herself treated Robert, it was all a lie. “All this time, you knew. You acted like some poor victim, you let Robert’s life fall apart. You let him and Aaron fall apart. What kind of a person are ya?” Victoria is only done asking when she feels the air sweep past her, the swoop caused by Chas suddenly rushing past her.   
  
Everything happened so fast that Victoria barely managed to catch it, barely had time to register Chas swinging her arm and slapping Rebecca right across the face.   
  
“You pathetic desperate little slapper.” Chas hisses out between gritted teeth pointing a finger in Rebecca’s face before Liv grabs on to her arm and pulls her back. "Anything to get your claws into him."  
  
“Chas, she has her kid with her.” Liv tries to calm her down.  
  
“And he’s the only reason a slap is all she got.”  
  
Rebecca’s holding onto her face when she looks back to Victoria. “I’m sorry, I really…”  
  
“Does he know?” Victoria asks. “That he’s not his dad.”  
  
Rebecca nods. “When he found me, he threatened me with solicitors, threatened to take me to court and I told him everything.”  
  
“So…so why didn’t he come back?” Victoria asks, not so much to Rebecca as much as to herself. Trying to figure out why Robert didn’t return.  
  
“He didn’t take it very well.” Rebecca returns.  
  
“What do you mean?” Liv asks.  
  
Rebecca winces at the memory, something she’d long tried to forget. She’d gotten her hands on every penny Robert had put aside for Seb, including the shares in Home Farm, and decided to return them to him. She knew she couldn’t keep it, especially not now that he knew the truth. She had gone to return it to him only to see him being wheeled into the ambulance after his suicide attempt. She had followed it to the hospital and snuck in to see him once before he woke, something she never told him about.  
  
“Vic, he…he tried to take his own life.” She sobs out, the guilt eating away at her.  
  
"What?” Vic lets out, she’s about to fall to her feet when Liv pulls her into hug, her own tears running down her face. If she had felt bad about how she treated Robert before, the guilt, the pain, had now intensified to something more than she could bear. Chas herself could only cover her mouth with both hands, tears fighting at her eyes.  
  
“All this time. All this time…I wanted to hate him so much for what he did to Aaron. For breaking his heart like he did, like we thought he did. What have I done?” Chas sobs out, every word being mumbled by her hands.  
  
Wiping away at her own eyes Rebecca turns to see Ross walking back out from the loo with Moses in tow. “Look, that’s all I know. He didn’t stick around much longer after that and I had no right to ask him."  
  
"Then what are you doing here? Why come back where you're not wanted?" Liv shoots back, her own anger now slipping out.  
  
"I'm only here because Robert was right. Seb deserves to know his dad." She answers, looking directly at Ross.  
  
Catching Rebecca's line of sight Liv chuckles. "I knew it. You are pathetic. If I ever see you again it'll be too soon." She says before walking towards the back room, Chas and Victoria trailing behind her.  
   
It takes everything she has not to kick over the chair nearest to her. She drops herself on the couch and buries her face in her hands. She'd already felt bad about the way she had treated Robert, but having hear it was all for a lie, having to hear that he had tried to kill himself, her emotions finally hit her. She feels like she's just been steamrolled.  
  
"He coulda died!" Liv shouts. "All in his own, with no one. I was so awful to him." She cries out. "He was like a brother to me and I just...how could I?"  
  
Chas takes a seat beside her and pulls her into a hug. "Wasn't just you, luv. Ya can't blame yourself. We all believed her, we all thought the worst of him. Some of us more than others. I'm so sorry Vic." She turns to look at Victoria.  
  
"You have to get a hold of Aaron. He has to know where he is, yeah?" Victoria lets out between sobs. It's taking everything within her to even stand. She tried to keep herself together in the pub, she had been too afraid of what she would do if she let her emotions take over. She was afraid of what she'd do to Rebecca. "I thought we were mates. I stood up for her. I supported her, I even treated Robert like rubbish because of her." She cries out. "And she lied. She lied about all of it. What kind of a sister am I? If...if he's hurt, if he's not okay, I'll never forgive myself." She says finally collapsing onto a chair near the table.   
  
"I need a drink." Victoria says, she’s about to stand when she feels the buzzing in her pocket shortly before her phone rings. Part of her wants to ignore it, part of her wants to just drown her sorrow away, just like she remembers Robert doing so often before he left, but she reaches into her pocket retrieving her phone. "It's Aaron!" She shouts, before quickly answering, Liv and Chas both shoot off the couch and walk towards Victoria, hope gleaming in their eyes.  
  
"Aaron! Where are ya? Have you found him? In London? Is he okay!? Yeah. She's here, with me. So is Liv. Maybe she didn’t notice ya calling." Victoria says frantically, prompting Chas to check her phone noting the missed calls from Aaron.  
  
"What are you serious, to London? If we leave now we can make it by tonight. Yeah. Yeah. See you soon." Victoria ends the call looking up to Liv and Chas. "We're going to London."

  
  
________

  
  
A silence lingers in the air. A silence loud enough to drown out anything else. All Aaron can do is wait on it. Wait for an answer. He wants this more than anything he's ever wanted in his life. He's never been more certain of anything, but Robert's eyes, the hesitation still in them hits him like a ton of bricks. He was certain he wanted to ask the question, still is. He'd never take it back, but the silence, the doubt that's now creeping at him makes his stomach clench. He feels like he's about to throw up.  
  
"Robert, will you please say something?" Aaron lets out, pleading more than asking.  
  
"No, Aaron." Robert responds. It's so low Aaron barely manages to catch it. "I...I can't." Robert answers turning away from Aaron, trying to avoid eye contact.  
  
"What?"  
  
Robert wipes at his eyes trying to hide the tears. His heart aching, begging him to say yes, begging him to marry Aaron. He wants this like he needs air to breath, but the fear is back. What if I mess things up? What if having a kid is too much for him? He'll leave ya. He thinks to himself before he opens his mouth, then closes it, he struggles to find the right words. "Aaron. I just...I want this, I do. Trust me I do, but..." He stops letting go of the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Maybe it's too soon. What if this isn't really what you want? What if having a kid is too much? I know it's not the same, but Seb was part of what broke..." He stops himself, the memory still hurts, it's still raw after all these years, the memory of how their marriage fell apart. The memory of how they fell apart.  
  
"What if, one day you wake up and you change your mind? About us, about her?" He says nodding towards Arya who's sitting at the edge of the bed watching cartoons. "I can't do that to her."  
  
"Robert.” Aaron starts, not bothering to hide the tears breaking free from his eyes. “I promise you I won’t, I love you, and I want this. I want you, I want her, I want us.”  
  
“I know you do, Aaron.” Robert says reaching his hand out and cupping it to Aaron’s cheek, his thumb wiping away at the tears. “But, maybe it’s just the moment. Maybe you only feel that way because it’s been so long. Look, I’m not saying I don’t want it…fuck…” He lets out, his own tears running free now. His emotions getting the best of him. “I just…can we just take it slow, for now, see where it goes?”  
  
Aaron nods into Robert’s hand. Melts into it as he looks into Robert’s green eyes. “I told you, Robert, I’m not going anywhere.” He says as he leans in placing his lips to Robert’s. The answer is not what he was hoping for, but there’s hope there, and he won’t give up so long as there’s hope.  
  
"So." Aaron says pulling back. "Are you sure about having them come for Christmas? If we tell them now they should be able to make it here tonight." He asks.  
  
Robert opens his mouth before closing it. He hesitates, unsure of what he'd say, how he'd say it. It's been so long and the guilt for running away like he did eats at him. "Not sure I can..."  
  
"It's okay If you can't, you know? Besides it's probably best you tell them everything in person."  
  
Robert nods. "You think you can do it?"  
  
"Why don't you go make us some brekky and I'll give them a ring."  
  
"Thanks." Robert says resting his forehead to Aaron's before leaning in and placing a chaste kiss to his lips. He's off the bed and lifting Arya into his arms, cradling her. He places his lips near her ears and asks her is she's hungry, earning an excited nod from her. "We'll be downstairs." He tells him before heading towards the door.  
  
As soon as Robert is out of the room Aaron reaches for his phone and quickly rings Chas. He's trying to ring her a third time when he hangs up and rings Victoria.  
  
"Hiya, Vic. Yeah of course I found him, we're in London. Yeah, he's good. Listen, have you seen me mum? I tried ringing her, but she didn't answer. Think you guys can come into London, tonight? Yeah London. That's perfect, make sure mum and Liv come with. Drive safe. See you soon." He says ending the call.   
  
He rubs his eyes, still feels the sting of Robert's answer, but deep down he gets it. Deep down he understands it and he knows it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he has him back, he has a fighting chance at getting everything he's ever wanted. He closes his eyes picturing Robert in the kitchen, fixing breakfast and a smile spreads across his face, a smile that only doubles in brilliance when he hears Arya's giggles coming from downstairs.

  
________  


  
"You sure I look okay in this?" Aaron asks, wrapping his arms around Robert's waist from behind him. Robert's busy cooking dinner, hoping to have everything ready by the time Victoria, Chas, and Liv arrive. Aaron can feel Robert relax, he feels him melt into the embrace before he spins around to look him up and down.  
  
"What are you worried about, you look fit." Robert states it as fact. "And it's a really nice shirt, cost me 80 quid, that did."  
  
Aaron pulls back, making a face, feeling uncertain. Robert refused to let him go back to his hotel room to shower and clean up. Instead he showered at Robert's and borrowed a shirt to change into. It's a gray shirt with a black floral pattern. Definitely something Robert would wear, definitely something he would tease him for, and definitely something he secretly loved on him. On himself however, it was only Robert's words that alleviated his nerves about it.  
  
"Seriously, you look fit. In fact, if the little monkey wasn't here I'd probably rip that shirt right off ya, and I'd have ya right here in the kitchen, on the floor." Robert says pulling him closer, flushing their bodies together. He leans in and kisses at Aaron's neck then nips at his jaw and he has to pull back, he's feeling the heat rushing down south and this is not the time for that. Aaron pulls him back in and returns a kiss to Robert's neck. "Fuck." Robert lets out under his breath. He's ready for more, he's about to go in for another kiss when the doorbell rings. "Shit!" He hisses out, every last bit of color draining from him. "I don't know if I can do this."  
  
"You can do this." Aaron reassures him, lacing his fingers through Robert's as he takes his hand. "Besides, I'm here with you. If anyone wants a go at you, they'll have to go through me first." Aaron says winking at Robert, earning a small chuckle and smile from him.  
  
Robert makes for the door before he turns and waves Arya over to him, she runs over and clings to his leg before they walk over to the door.  
  
He's standing back when Aaron reaches for the doorknob, still standing back when he hears Chas shouting Aaron's name. He just stands back waiting for the attacks, waiting to defend himself, but is only surprised when he sees Liv rush past Aaron and straight into his arms. He feels her arms wrap around him, feels them squeeze tight and he can’t help but squeeze back. Can’t help the tears leaving his eyes. "Hiya, Liv." Is all he could get past the lump in his throat at first. "I've missed ya."  
  
"I'm so sorry Robert. I'm sorry for everything." She says, squeezing even tighter.  
  
"Don't. Please don't, you have nothing to apologize for."  
  
"She does for hogging up my brother." Victoria says as she joins, waiting on Liv to give her a turn. Liv takes the hint and releases her grip on Robert and Victoria takes her turn squeezing every bit of air out of him.  
  
"Oi, who's this pretty little one?" Victoria questions when she looks down to see Arya peeking from behind Robert's legs.  
  
Robert smiles and kneels down, turning his gaze to Arya. "Arya, this is your auntie Vic. My sister." He gently speaks into her ear. The curious look on her face replaced by a beaming smile as Arya steps out from behind Robert's legs and waves at Victoria who's stood there with shock on her face.  
  
As Robert introduces Arya to Victoria and Liv, Aaron hangs back near the entrance with Chas by his side.  
  
“What’s this? Is she…is she his?” Chas whispers towards Aaron, shock spreading across her face.  
  
“Don’t you start.” Aaron nearly snarls at her, ready to defend Robert.  
  
“What? It wasn’t me taking a dig at him?” Chas returns nudging her elbow into Aaron.  
  
“Yeah, she’s his.” Aaron relents, knowing no harm was meant by her question.  
  
“And?”  
  
“And what?”  
  
“What about you two?”  
  
“What about us?”  
  
Chas grumbles rolling her eyes. “You know exactly what I mean. You came here looking for him, you came here to get him back didn’t you?”  
  
Aaron bites his lower lip, staring at the ground, hates every second of this. Hates his mum asking him personal questions. Hates having to share his feelings. “You know I did.”  
  
“So, you two back together? Please tell me you are.” She says giving him a grin, looking hopeful.  
  
Aaron nearly flinches at her words; his face scrunches and he looks back at her like she’s lost her mind. “What? You telling me you okay with it?”  
  
She shrugs and smiles back in response.  
  
“You feeling alright? Aaron questions. This is all going too easy, way too easy. "What are you playing at?"  
  
“We know everything.” She says looking back towards Robert, Liv, Victoria, and Arya. “Well, almost everything.”  
  
“You what?”  
  
“Rebecca made an appearance today, she kind of spilled all the beans.” She whispers in Aaron’s direction. “I’m sorry, luv. Sorry for what I’ve put you through, for what I put him through. He didn’t deserve it.”  
  
Aaron pulls her into a hug and gently squeezes. “It’s not me you should be apologizing to.”  
  
Chas nods and smiles as she pulls away and walks towards the others while Aaron stands back surprised as she throws her arms around Robert, pulling him into a hug. He's even more surprised to see tears in her eyes as she apologizes to him. Pulling back, she looks down to Arya smiling. “So, who’s this lovely young lady?” She asks.  
  
Aaron looks back, making sure the front door is shut and can’t help but feel the significance of it, it feels as if he’s closed the door to what’s behind him, closed the door to his past with only the future to look forward to. He smiles looking at his family and knows the best is yet to come. Clearing his throat, he grabs their attention. “So, you guys hungry? We’ve been slaving trying to get dinner ready for you guys.” He jokes.  
  
“What do you mean, we? I did all the work.” Robert is quick to correct him. Being melodramatic as usual. Aaron just smiles back.

  
________  


   
The night is long as they all play catch up with Robert and a dinner almost as long. Robert tells them all about what happened with Rebecca and in return they tell him they already knew. They tell him about what had happened earlier in the day, and they boast about the slap Chas gave her. "It was so good." Liv laughs out. "I swear you would have heard it from outside the pub."  
  
Robert tells them about Arya and the surrogacy, he tells them about her deafness and about sign language, he tells them about his garage and everything he's been up to. Victoria, Liv, and Chas all listen in awe of how he managed to get through it all on his own. Finally Victoria can't help herself and asks the one thing Robert wasn't expecting.  
  
"Robert...Rebecca...she told us you tried to take your own life, why? Why didn't you come to me? I love you Robert. I could've lost you and not even know about it." She cries out.  
  
The room had gone silent and the color had drained from Robert, but Aaron reaches over taking his hand, supporting him. He gives him the strength to answer her and through tearful eyes he tells her, tells them all about that Christmas.  
  
After several hours spent talking the eventful day had gotten to them all, both physically and emotionally. They all began to yawn one by one. Victoria turned to Robert asking about hotels in the area before Robert dramatically scoffed and told her to knock it off, his flat was larger than the Mill and even had two guest rooms that he had prepared for them. "I really am glad you're here Vic. It means everything, and I'm sorry for cutting you out of my life, for not coming back, for hurting ya." He tells her as he wraps his arms around her.  
  
"Don't even, you'll make me cry all over again. I'm just happy you're okay. That you're happy...you are happy right? You'd tell me if you weren't?" She asks wiping away tears.   
  
Robert turns his gaze to Aaron who's sat on the couch with Arya sleeping on his lap. "Yeah, Vic, I'm happy."  
  
Once they finished clearing up, Chas, Liv, and Victoria retire for the night to the guest rooms. Robert picks Arya up from the couch where she had been sleeping and carried her to her room with Aaron trailing behind him before they made their way to Robert’s room.  
  
“I…I don’t think I could have done that without ya.” Robert tells Aaron pulling him into his arms as he rests his forehead to Aaron’s.  
  
“I know you could, Robert. You’re amazing. You are stronger than you will ever know.” Aaron replies before placing his lips to Robert’s. "You're the strongest person I know."  
  
It’s half 3 in the morning and Aaron finds himself awake in bed, Robert’s head again on his chest, his arm draped over his stomach clinging to him. His mind unable to stop, unable to relax, it’s in a constant state of a buzz. After everything that’s happened, after all those years struggling to find himself again, trying to find what he’d lost when Robert left, he has it all back. He has it all back and almost everything is right with the world. He’s going to prove to Robert that this is what he wants and he’s going to marry him.   
  
He’s almost managed to lull himself to sleep when he hears the low whimper coming from across the hall, from Arya’s room, and he’s on his feet and half way to her room before he even realizes it.  
  
He finds her curled under her duvet, she’s got a pout on her face and tears in her eyes. Aaron sits down on the edge of her bed and picks her up into his arms. He holds her close to his chest and rests her head on his shoulder.  
  
Robert wakes to an empty space besides him and he whispers for Aaron before sitting up. He can hear voices coming from the room across the hall, from Arya’s room. He quietly makes his way to the door and lingers just outside as he hears Aaron ask Arya a question.  
  
“What is it little monkey?”  
  
“Too dark.” She cries out softly.  
  
“I’m sorry, monkey, did daddy forget your nightlight?” He asks, and she nods in response.  
  
He slowly stands and turns the nightlight on then slowly starts rocking her to sleep. “I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.” He tells her, comforting her. It only takes a few minutes before she’s back asleep and he kisses the top of her head before he lays her down in bed, tucking her in. He sits at the edge of the bed for a few minutes and even though he knows she’s fallen back asleep he can’t help the words that start spilling out.  
  
“I mean it. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. I love your daddy, little monkey. I love him more than he will ever know, I love him so much sometimes I just don't know what to do with it. And I hate that I’ve hurt him, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make him happy. Trying to make sure that he knows he’s loved, because he deserves it. He deserves it just like you do.” He says before he leans down and places a kiss on her forehead.  
  
When Aaron returns back to bed Robert pulls him into his arms and looks him in the eyes. His eyes filled with nothing but love and adoration, any of the doubt and hesitation he had seen before is gone.   
  
“Ask me again.” Robert says. He had been unsure before when Aaron asked. No matter how much he wanted it, there was a small voice in his head giving him doubt, but seeing Aaron with Arya and hearing his words to her made it all vanish for good. There's no doubt any more, there's nothing but certainty. This is Aaron after all. The love of his life. His soulmate.  
  
“Robert, will you marry me?” Aaron asks, instinctively knowing.  
  
“Yes, Aaron. Yes I’ll marry you.”

 

 

________

  
  
His mind is clear, but that’s only because everything is finally right in the world. Aaron steps out of the shower to a bathroom filled with steam, he walks over to the sink and wipes his hand across the mirror, clearing an area to see his reflection. His body is still wet from the shower and he looks across it, his stomach, his chest, his arms, looking at each and every scar he has. Part of him wants to feel shame, only he doesn’t. He has Robert back, he has his soulmate again. The one person that makes him feel like he is absolutely perfect just the way he is, scars and all. He can’t help the beaming smile that spreads across his face as he looks back at the mirror and he jokingly winks at himself. This is what Robert does to him.  
  
After he’s dried himself off, he hangs the towel on the hook behind the door and with no one else around he walks out into Robert’s bedroom in the nude. He walks over to his dresser looking for clothing, his own still packed at his hotel room, the thought of wearing Robert’s clothes only making his smile widen. He slides some boxers on and he’s looking around for a tee when finds its, a devilish smirk replaces his smile as he takes it.  
  
Robert’s busy in the kitchen, cooking dinner for Aaron and himself. Part of him missing the pitter patter of Arya playing about, but he’s more than glad to have some proper time alone with Aaron.   
  
Victoria, Chas, and Liv had decided to stay for a couple of days and after the great Christmas day they had spent together, the ladies decided to have a day out shopping the after-Christmas sales and wanted to take Arya along.  
  
He’s busy stirring the pot and tasting the sauce he’s working on when he feels an arm snake around his stomach, lips brushing against his neck, the hot breath gliding across it. “You enjoy the shower? You certainly took your time.” Robert speaks in that voice that makes Aaron weak in the knees. The voice he hasn’t used in years until he let Aaron back in.  
  
Aaron chuckles at first. His hot breath gliding across Robert’s neck, makes him shiver and Robert shivering only makes him chuckle yet again. “I was looking for a tee to put on and I came across the most interesting thing.” Aaron laughs outs, his teeth grazing across Robert’s flesh. He feels Robert stiffen at his words, and he notices the flush quickly rushing up his neck. Aaron bites at his lower lip as he feels himself getting stiff in his boxers.  
  
Robert lets out a laugh at first before clearing his throat. “Just coz I wasn’t seeing anyone doesn’t mean I didn’t have needs.”  
  
Aaron gasps, only getting harder at the words, the thought of Robert using it driving him crazy. He releases his grasp from Robert’s stomach and backs up allowing him to turn, facing him. As Robert turns he sees Aaron wearing nothing but a pair of tight black boxer briefs. He has devilish grin on his face as he leans on the island, his legs crossed at the ankles, one arm stretched across his abdomen and hand tucked under his other arm. His free arm is bent up as he holds it up, as he holds the toy he’d found in Robert’s drawer. The toy he keeps picturing Robert using in his mind.  
  
The toy in question a mix between a cock ring and a prostate stimulator. A large ring part of a soft touch box with two buttons on it, the box itself has a soft rubber tether to a pill shaped stimulator. “What’s this?” Aaron asks. His finger placed through the ring as he holds it up.  
  
“Why don’t you put it on and find out?” Robert replies with that smug grin on his face. He quickly turns and lowers the flames on the stove and makes sure everything is settled before turning back to Aaron and walking up to him. He grabs him by the waistband of the boxers and pulls him flush to his body before placing his lips to Aaron’s neck and nipping at it. Aaron shivers at the playful bite and melts into Robert, lets him lead him into the living room before Robert backs him up to the edge of the couch and drops to his knees pulling the boxers down with him.  
  
Aaron throws his head back gasping as he feels the heat of Robert’s mouth on him, taking him whole in one movement. Robert slowly pulls back from Aaron’s cock before licking at the tip and subsequently shoving him back onto the couch. “Lift your legs for me.” Robert instructs, and Aaron does as he’s told, he hooks his hands behind his knees as he holds his legs up, leaving Robert with a perfect view of his hole. He’s looking down past his hard cock and between his legs, looking at Robert as he stares back at him with a grin on his face. Robert can’t help himself and dives in, running his tongue along the edges of Aaron’s entrance, along the sensitive skin. The sensation sending shivers throughout Aaron’s body.  
  
Slow guttural moans escape Aaron’s mouth as he feels Robert’s tongue prodding at his hole, he feels as if he’s weightless, feels like he’s about to float if he doesn’t hang on. He nearly whines when he feels Robert pull back. “Robert.” Aaron pleads.  
  
“Sorry, babe, not yet.” Robert replies as he places two fingers in his mouth before moving them to Aaron’s entrance. He lightly runs them along the sensitive skin before he slowly begins to push them in.  
  
“Fuck.” Aaron moans out as he feels the fingers glide in, as he feels them slowly stretching him out. It’s not long before a third finger joins in. Every movement of the fingers moving in and out driving him crazy.  
  
Pulling his fingers from Aaron’s hole Robert reaches around Aaron for the toy. “Put your legs down for me.” He asks, and Aaron lowers his legs. Robert leans down and kisses the inside of Aarons thighs as he places his fingers on the inside of the ring before stretching it out. He’s holding it stretched out just enough to glide it over Aaron’s hard cock, before he gently squeezes his balls through it. With the cock ring secured around Aaron’s cock and balls, he lifts the tether and grabs a hold of the pill and places it in his mouth to moisten it. He spits on his fingers and rubs them at Aaron’s hole making sure there’s enough to act as lube before he takes the pill and places it to it.  
  
Aaron gasps as he feels the pill pushing past his entry, gasps again when he feels it fully glide in. “Fuck.” He lets out in ecstasy.  
  
“You like that?” Robert questions with a smug grin on his face as he presses one of the buttons of the toy and Aaron nods in reply. “Just you wait.” Robert says as he stands and walks away, running up the stairs, leaving Aaron slightly confused.  
  
It’s not long before he hears the steps coming down the stairs. “Where’d you…” Aaron is trying to ask when he jumps, completely caught off guard by the buzzing, the soft vibrating coming from within him. The vibration coming from the pill. He gasps then moans in pleasure as Robert looks back at him, again with the smug grin on his face, as he waves a small remote in his hand.  
  
His grin widens as he clicks a button on the remote and the vibration goes up a level. Aaron moans in response between breaths and Robert pushes the button again. “Fuuuuuck.” Slips out of Aaron’s mouth. “You keep that up and I’m going to come without touching myself.”  
  
“Oh, that’s not going to happen. Not yet at least.” Robert says as he pushes a button and the vibrations come to a full stop. He turns and walks back into the kitchen. “Dinner’s not going to cook itself.” He says as he cranks up the flames again and goes back to cooking. Aaron’s left on the couch in a bit of a daze.  
  
“You trying to torture me or summat?”  
  
“Something like that.” Robert replies before hitting the button on the control and teasing Aaron for a minute before turning it back off and going back to cooking. He teases Aaron on and off for close to an hour as he cooks. He teases him until Aaron’s had enough, until he can’t take it anymore.   
  
He stands from the couch where he had been resting and walks over to the kitchen. He pulls out one of the stools that sat at the island counter and places it a bit in front of Robert. He puts his fingers through the waistband of the boxers and pulls them off before sitting on the stool. Robert’s speechless as he watches on, his jaw hanging as Aaron begins to stroke himself with one hand while he reaches down with his other. He finds the buttons and turns the vibration on, takes it up to the highest setting and slowly begins to grind into the stool as he continues to stroke himself. He makes sure he’s as loud as he can be as he lets out obscenities between every moan. His eyes half closed, almost rolling to the back, he keeps trained on Robert. Trained on every inch of him. He thinks of him and only him as he strokes himself. Thinks of his face, his freckles, his arse, his amazing cock, every thought bringing him closer and closer to orgasm, closer to his release.  
  
Robert’s touching himself through his trousers, has no words for what’s come over Aaron, putting on a show for him like this. It’s so unlike him, not that he’s going to complain. He slowly tries to move towards him feeling like he can’t just sit back and watch, but Aaron looks him in the eyes and shakes his head. “Now I get to torture you.” He says, and Robert backs up.  
  
He’s dying to touch Aaron, dying to be the one pleasuring, but at the same time he’s more than happy to watch. He’s already dropped his own trousers and is stroking himself as he watches Aaron. He watches as Aaron grinds, watches as he strokes himself.  
  
Just like Aaron, he’s had enough, and he rushes towards him dropping to his knees taking him into his mouth, he’s not giving him the chance to protest. Aaron doesn’t, all that comes out of Aaron’s mouth is moan after moan. Robert places one hand at the base of Aaron’s cock as he works his mouth up and down the shaft. Aaron nearly jumps every time he feels himself hit the back of Robert’s throat and even more so when Robert pulls back on the tether stretching it out and releasing it, so it slaps back onto Aaron’s taint. “Fuck.” Aaron lets out.  
  
Robert repeats the motion a couple of times before he pulls the pill out and places it in his mouth before diving in and placing his tongue on Aaron's hole. All Aaron can do is throw his head back gasping at every touch, every sensation that Robert is giving him. It's not long before Robert pulls back and places the pill back into Aaron’s hole. “Oh fuck, I’m going to come.” He says between breaths. That last action sending him way over the edge. The thought of what Robert had just done, too much. “Fuuuuuuuuuuck.” He shouts.  
  
Robert pumps at his cock faster as he feels the warmth explode into his mouth, as he feels every velvety shot go down his throat, as he swallows every last drop. Aaron’s guttural moans sending him over the edge, his own orgasm explodes, his come shooting out hitting the floor as some covers his hand.   
  
“Fuck.” He says as he pulls back from Aaron’s softening cock. He stands and grabs Aaron by the back of his neck and pulls him into a bruising kiss. Their tongues colliding and fighting for dominance. Aaron melts into it, can taste himself in Robert’s mouth, can taste his own come. He smiles a smile that reaches his eyes, a smile that comes from his heart. Even after all this time, they know this is right, they know this is how it was meant to be. They can never have enough of each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Daddy, It's Your Birthday?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron sneaks off to pick up a surprise for Robert all the while planning another surprise for the big night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long, but took a little break. Still need to go through edits so please forgive me for any sloppiness or if anything doesn't make sense. 
> 
> As always please feel free to leave comments, always enjoy reading your guys' input/thoughts on it.

 

**CHAPTER 7**

 

* * *

 

A bead of sweat drips down his forehead as his foot repeatedly taps the floor. It's colder than a ghost's tit in the shop so he's not quite sure where the sweat came from. He's huffing his breath as he taps his fingernails on the glass counter and the tapping of his foot only gets more ridiculous causing Chas to roll her eyes.  
  
"Will you just relax, luv." Chas whispers towards Aaron as she nudges his elbow with her free one. She's slightly leaning on the counter as she balances Arya on her hip, her head resting on Chas' shoulder as she sleeps.  
  
"I am relaxed." Aaron bites back.  
  
"Really? That why you sweating up a storm?" She nods towards his forehead. "Aaron, just relax, there's nothing to be so worried about."  
  
"What if he doesn't like them?"  
  
"Are you serious? They couldn't be more his style even if the rings themselves had a smug grin on them." She smiles up at him "Besides, even if they weren't, all you have to do is tell him he better like them for what they cost you." She finishes doing her best impression of Robert.  
  
The joke is welcomed and immediately makes Aaron relax. He smiles back at her, glad he'd let her come along. He knows she's right, he knows Robert will love them if only because he himself loves them. While he loved their original engagement rings both Robert and himself had decided on getting new ones to match their new beginning. It had been a couple of months since Aaron's proposal and though the rings had been discussed, the engagement had quietly taken a back seat to the hectic lives they had taken to since reuniting. Over the last couple of months Aaron had been spending more and more time in London with Robert and Arya. Robert had offered to take his turn going down to the village, but Aaron could tell he wasn't keen on staying at the Mill. When Aaron thought about it himself he knew it no longer had the same meaning it once had. It had been meant to be a new beginning for them back then. Now it’s marked with bad memories, marked with a relationship he forced himself into, a relationship he knew he didn't want. The more he thought of it, the more he knew that he was making the right decision, the only decision. He was leaving the village behind, he was following his heart to his home where he belonged, with Robert and Arya in London.  
  
"Here she comes." Chas lets out in excitement, pulling Aaron from his thoughts, as she sees the woman coming back with the ring boxes in hand.   
  
"Mr. Sugden." The blonde woman smiles at Aaron as she greets him, shaking his hand.   
  
Aaron tries to play it cool with Chas giving him a look as she hears the name he was greeted with, a cheeky grin spreading across her face.  
  
"Hiya." Aaron returns.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you in person." She states with excitement spreading across her face. "I'm really glad I was able to be here to deliver them. These are my favorite pieces in a long while. I can't even begin to tell you how excited our designer was to work on these." She says, placing the boxes on the glass counter before slowly opening them.  
  
The rings had been specially made on request as they were a bit out of the ordinary. They were made out of meteorite, an idea Aaron had gotten on the rare occasion he'd been reading a magazine on fossils and meteorites, something only Robert and Chas knew he did. The bands were a dark polished gray, almost black, with a beautiful texture that came naturally from the meteorite and were adorned with a single stripe of platinum that stretched along the center. Having a connection to the best day he'd ever had with his mum only made the rings even more meaningful.  
  
As they walk out of the jewelers Aaron turns to face Chas, smiling as he reaches over to Arya, he runs his finger along her cheek and tucks her hair behind her ear. "Here, let me take her." He tells Chas who nearly slaps his hands away. She's almost as taken with Arya as Aaron is.  
  
"Not my baby." She pouts.  
  
"Give her here." Aaron says as he takes Arya from her hands. He cradles her close to his chest and rests her head in the crook of his neck, trying not to wake her. He's trying to look down at Arya's face he hears a click and looks over to see Chas holding her mobile up, taking a picture.  
  
"My babies." She coos. "This is perfect, new lock screen material that is." She says, only making Aaron roll his eyes before he gives in and smiles.  
  
Something he's been doing a lot more of lately. He can't help himself. It's been a long time coming with a difficult journey, but he's finally happy. Well and truly happy.  
  
There's a chill in the air but not enough to keep them from enjoying their walk through the city. Chas is beaming a smile as drags Aaron from shop to shop doing a bit of shopping just before they make a stop for a bite to eat. With Robert busy at work Aaron took the opportunity to pick up the rings that Robert still didn't know about. It was a perfect chance to not only pick the rings up but to also get everything sorted for the gathering he had in store for the that night. It was a special night after all, regardless of Robert pretending like it was no big deal and nothing to worry about. Tonight was going to be special.  
  
"So, are we in the clear for tonight?" Chas asks.  
  
"Yeah, I have Connor keeping him busy, and he’s keeping me updated." Aaron answers, scratching at his eyebrows. "You? Everyone on their way?"  
  
"I told you I'd take care of that didn't I?" She quickly returns. "Vic and Liv should be here soon. Those two couldn't wait. Paddy, Diane, Doug, and Bernice will be here just in time for the do."  
  
____  
  
  
A bead of sweat drips down his forehead as he bites at his lower lip. Robert's always been good under pressure, always finds a way to land on his feet. It's just part of who he is, no thanks to having been chased away from home at such a young age, having to fend for himself, having to make a life all his own with no one to help him. Despite all of that, he still doesn't like it, doesn't like the pressure. His office is silent, the air is still, and he squints his eyes to focus.  
  
"Come on!" A shout suddenly disrupts his concentration just as he throws. The dart nearly missing the entire board, Robert throws his hands up in frustration.  
  
"Hahahahaha" Connor bursts out into laughter holding on to his sides. “I wasn’t even trying.”  
  
"Shut up!" Robert sneers at him.  
  
"Mate, you need to quit procrastinating!"  
  
"What? I was trying to concentrate."  
  
"You know that's not what I meant...but yeah, you were taking your sweet ass time with that throw." Connor teases.  
  
Robert shrugs. He knows exactly what Connor is talking about. It's been wearing on his shoulders for weeks now. He keeps wanting to bring it up, keeps on wanting to ask, but he always chickens out at the last minute like a div. "I don't know what you're talking about." He huffs out.  
  
"You are so full of shit, mate. I know you, remember. Just coz you haven’t brought it up since you first told me you were thinking it, doesn't mean I've forgotten." Connor says walking up to the board before he begins pulling out the darts. "Just man up and ask him or I'll do it for you and put you out of both our miseries...and you know what? You're still shit at this game." He laughs out.  
  
Robert chuckles a bit, but he can't help and feel a bit of doubt. He knows he'd be asking a lot of Aaron and doesn't know if he can bring himself to make him make that choice. "But, what if he says no. What if..."  
  
“What are you so afraid of?” Connor asks as he takes aim and throws his first dart hitting the board dead center. He turns back looking at Robert with a grin on his face.  
  
“That he’ll say no. It’s just…it’s just that everything has been so perfect, it’s been so perfect, and I don’t want to ruin it. I always find a way to ruin it and if I ask him and he says no, then, everything will be ruined. I won’t be able to take it back.”  
  
“You think he’ll say no? Why would he?”  
  
“Emmerdale, the village, the Mill…it’s his home.”  
  
Connor squints his eyes taking aim again, going for his second throw. He looks like he’s in deep thought, but his mind is still at task. Still doing his job as a mate, as Robert’s best mate. “And what about yours. Does he expect you to just up and leave? You have a home here Robert, a business, is he going to take that into consideration?” He asks right before throwing his dart and yet again hitting the board dead center.   
  
Robert lets go of the breath he was holding onto. He’s staring intently at the board, part of him trying to keep up with the game, it’s the sole reason he invited Connor over, but the other part of him is too wrapped in his dilemma. Too wrapped up in his thoughts. He slowly sticks his tongue out moistening his lips before biting at his lower lip. “I get what you’re getting at, it’s just…”  
  
"Mate! He proposed to you. He's head over heels for you, for your little girl, you two are so stupidly in love it really makes me sick. Seriously, I kind of want to vom right now just thinking about it." Connor lets out before laughing lightly. “Seriously, you’re off your head if you think he’d ever say no to you. I’m serious, I’ve seen the way he looks at you…talk about heart eyes.”  
  
A smile spreads across his face as he realizes Connor's right. He feels like an idiot for ever doubting it. "You're right. He loves me, and I love him." He says. "Tonight. I'll ask him tonight."  
  
“Brilliant! That calls for a celebration. Come on, let’s go get a drink, my treat.”  
  
“Yeah” Robert replies. “Need a bit of that liquid courage if I’m going to ask him.” He says with a small frown taking over his face.  
  
“Oi, what’s that face for?”  
  
“Nothing…it’s just, I was hoping to spend tonight with him, but he has to go back. For work."  
  
“Tonight?” Connor asks, before Robert nods in response. “I’m sorry mate, I’m sure he would have stayed if he could get out of it. You know he would. Besides all the more reason to ask him already. The sooner you have him up here the sooner you won’t have to worry about him going back.”  
  
The thought doesn’t do much to make him feel better about spending a special night away from Aaron, but he knows he agrees with Connor. The sooner he asks, the sooner he could have Aaron there in London with him permanently. No more running back and forth, no more seeing him for a couple of days at a time, no more sad goodbyes as Aaron drives back home to the village. Instead he’ll get to wake up next to the love of his life for the rest of his life. That thought, that’s the thought that finally puts a real smile on his face and gets him out of the funk.  
  
“Come on then, I could certainly use a pint or two. If I’m going to spend the night alone in front of the telly watching Top Gear, I at least want to have a good buzz.” Robert jokes.  
  
“Oh, well that’s just sad, mate. So, so, so sad.”  
  
“Shut up.” Robert playfully takes a swing at Connor’s arm. He walks over to the door grabbing his coat along the way and opens the door looking for his assistant. “Hey, I’m done for the day. If Aaron calls you can tell him I’m out with Connor.”  
  
“You got it boss.” Steven says, making Robert roll his eyes. “Oh, and happy birthday.”  
  
____  
  
   
Robert’s got a slight buzz by the time he makes it back home. He’d only had a few pints, having put the heavier stuff in his past, particularly his old friend whiskey, but he still fumbled his fingers a bit trying to get his key into the lock.  
Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have had that fourth pint. He curses himself though the annoyance quickly melts away the moment he steps through his front door and sees the massive smile on Aaron’s face, fully immersed in what he’s doing.  
  
Both Aaron and Arya are laying on the floor and both on their stomachs, colored pencils in hand as they color in pages out of Arya’s coloring book. Robert nearly chuckles when he spots Aaron’s tongue sticking out as he concentrates on his coloring, he’s so entranced that he hasn’t even spotted Robert at the door. That feeling of butterflies begin to flutter in his stomach as he watches on, he reaches into his pocket to retrieve his phone, quickly opens the camera and manages to capture the moment right before his ringer goes off. Right before both Aaron and Arya look up to see him watching them.  
  
“Robert!” Aaron calls out as Arya jumps to her feet and runs for Robert’s legs.  
  
“Hiya.” Robert says and smiles back at Aaron then looks down to Arya and puts his hand up next to his face, waving it out before lifting his elbows out to his sides, his hands out in front of his chest with his fingers all slightly curled he circles his hands twice. “Hi monkey.” He signs to her before picking her up and placing a kiss to the top of her head as he nuzzles into it. As Aaron gets on his feet Robert makes his way towards him, taking a moment to look around, a moment to realize how much his flat has changed over the last few months. Where his flat was once almost sterile, it now feels warm and like a home. There’s picture frames across his entire home now, pictures of him, Aaron and Arya. A large framed canvas hangs above the fireplace mantle. It’s a picture of Robert and Aaron each holding Arya by a hand as they lift her into the air, massive smiles adorning all their faces, a happy moment Liv had managed to catch shortly after Christmas. Every one of the new frames, all new memories that only confirm to him what he already knows. This is where they’re meant to be, where they’re meant to be as a family. It’s now or never.  
  
“How was your day?” Aaron asks.  
  
“Listen, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask ya and if I don’t do it now I’ll probably bottle it.”  
  
Aaron’s brows raise in confusion. “What is it?”  
  
“I…it’s just…” Robert starts, at a loss for words, he keeps starting before abruptly getting lost again. He finally stops, takes a deep breath and tries again. “Will you move in?” He finally lets out. “I can’t stand it when you leave, Aaron. I know it’s a tough decision and I’m sure you probably have plenty of reasons for staying back in the village, not to mention a business, but I love it when you’re here and so does Arya…”  
  
“Yeah.” Aaron says, without any hesitation. It’s so quick and so certain that Robert doesn’t even pick it up as he continues to ramble.  
  
“And your mum’s there, and Paddy, and I know the Mill is your home but…”  
  
“Robert! I said yeah!” Aaron nearly shouts with a grin on his face.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Yeah, you idiot. Of course I will. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and yeah, I’d want nothing more.”  
  
“But what about The Mill? What about the scrapyard.”  
  
“Well, I didn’t want to tell you yet, not until it was all complete, but I’m in the final stages of closing a deal on the scrapyard. I’ve sold it.” He says with a smile. “And the Mill, it’s not really mine is it? I’ve talked to Liv about it and if she wants she can stay there since it’s hers or, if it’s okay with you, she can come live with us.”  
  
Robert quickly pulls Aaron into a hug with his free arm and kisses his lips. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Never been more sure of anything in my life.”  
  
“I love you, Aaron.”  
  
“I love you too.” Aaron replies leaning in and placing a kiss to Robert’s lips. “This calls for a celebration, yeah?”  
  
Robert smiles and nods in return and can't help but pull Aaron in tighter to him. He gently squeezes almost as if he's making sure it’s all real, making sure it's all really happening.  
  
"Come on, I know just the thing." Aaron says as Robert lets go. He's already near the front door grabbing his coat when Robert turns to see him, all smiles. As soon as Aaron's ready, he helps Arya into her coat, she's smiling at him when he brushes his fingers across her forehead and tucks her hair behind her ear. Her hair isn't as perfect as when Robert does it, but Aaron's determined to get better at it. He's determined to do it better than Robert.  
  
Robert was so caught up just watching them both. Everything feeling so surreal considering how he'd felt that morning. He'd woken up dreading the thought of Aaron going back to the village, dreading spending his birthday without the love of his life, and now, now he has it all. For real, for keeps.  
  
"Daddy!" Arya gently giggles snapping Robert out of his trance.  
  
"Sorry monkey, I'm coming." He says as he walks over to them, taking her tiny little hand into his. His massive hand only making hers look even smaller in comparison. He smiles over to Aaron before they step out the door and close it behind them.  
  
"So where are we going?" Robert asks.  
  
"Well, since it is such a beautiful night I thought we'd take a nice walk first. We can cut through the park down the street and head on down to that fancy Italian place you love."  
  
A smile spreads across Robert's face at the idea. "But I thought you didn't like it. Too fancy for you, you said."  
  
"What can I say, only the best for my man on his birthday." Aaron replies.  
  
Robert lets out a small gasp. "But I thought..."  
  
"That I wouldn't remember? You're off your head if you think I wouldn't remember today was your birthday."  
  
"Daddy, it's your birthday?" Arya asks.  
  
"Yes monkey, it's your dad's birthday. He really is getting old if he thinks I'd forget such a special day."  
  
Aaron leans over and rests he head on Robert's shoulder as they walk, Arya tucked in between them as they both hold on to her hands.  
  
"Robert?" A woman calls out walking towards them.  
  
"Oh, hello Holly." Robert politely greets her.  
  
"Hi doll." She says looking down at Arya. Before quickly turning her gaze to Aaron as he picks his head back up. Something about her gaze unsettling him. She looks down to see them both holding on to Arya's hands and her lips purse as if everything has suddenly clicked. "Now it all makes sense. "She says." As she looks between Robert and Aaron.  
  
"I'm sorry?" Robert questions.  
  
"All those years and you not once so much as gave me a look. Even after all those subtle signals I sent your way." She says with a slight disgust in her tone. "Such a shame."  
  
Robert's taken aback, finds himself in a bit of shock he hadn't experienced this type of treatment from anyone before, certainly not since his childhood. The way his own father had treated him is the reason why he hid the truth, even from himself at times. Aaron can see the hurt in Robert's face, he can nearly feel it.  
  
"What's shame?" Aaron is quick to ask. He knows exactly what she's getting at, but there is no way he's going to let anyone disrespect his family.  
  
"I'm sorry doll, I didn’t mean anything by it." She replies with a fake smile on her face. "It's just a shame that he's gay."  
  
"Well, he's not. He's bisexual actually. Maybe he just didn't fancy you." He quickly fires back, leaving her stunned, her mouth wide open. "Now if you'll excuse us, we're trying to celebrate his birthday, so have yourself a goodnight." He says as he leads Robert and Arya past the woman.  
  
Once they've made it to the park, Aaron breaks the silence that had taken over their walk for the past few minutes. "I'm sorry about that, Robert. She had no right making you feel that way." He says as he comes to a stop, turning to face Robert.  
  
Robert simply places his forehead to Aaron as he takes a hold of him by the neck. "Thank you." He breathes out. "I...I just froze."  
  
"It's okay, I get it. Been there. Look, not everyone's like that."  
  
"No, I get that. It's just she lives around the corner. I've known her for years and, I guess I just didn't expect that from her."  
  
“I don’t like her.” Arya quietly pipes in.  
  
“You what?” Robert asks surprised.  
  
“Why did she make you sad?” She asks.  
  
“Oh monkey.” Robert starts as he kneels down and lifts her chin up with his fingers so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. “It’s just…it’s hard to explain.” He pauses trying to find the best way to explain it, trying to find the right words. “You know how much I love Aaron, how much he loves me, well some people think that’s wrong. They think that two boys or two girls shouldn’t love each other that way, but there is nothing wrong with that, nothing. When two people love each other, it shouldn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl. All that matters is how much they love each other.” He says smiling at her and she simply smiles back and jumps into his arms for a hug.  
  
Everything about her still amazes him, the fact that even at her young age she was able to tell that the encounter had bothered him to the degree it did. That she could even understand what he was trying to explain to her. It blows his mind that he did that, that he raised her all his own. Aaron was right, she turned out the way she did because of him, and he should be proud…he is proud. He can’t help the lone tear that escapes his eye as he hugs her.  
  
"Don't let that ruin your night."  
  
"What? That? No way. Couldn't stand her. She threw herself at me every time we crossed paths."  
  
"Can't say that I blame her." Aaron jokes, as he winks an eye at Robert. "Now how about that Italian. I'm getting pretty hungry." He says before looking down at Arya who smiles up at him. He raises his eyebrows as he looks at her and with his right hand forming a C shape near his throat, Aaron runs it down his chest before sticking his elbows out to his sides with his hands out in front of his chest and his fingers all slightly curled, he circles his hands twice. "You hungry, monkey?" She nods a resounding yes before Aaron bends down to give Robert a quick kiss to his forehead and then lifts Arya into his arms. "That's my girl."  
  
Robert stands keeping his gaze on Aaron and Arya, a beaming smile on his face, this is all he could ask for, this is already a perfect birthday. He brushes off memories of the past four he'd had, all alone, they had been just like any other day, spent at home in front of the telly or near a lamp with a book in hand. Those days are gone now, replaced with what's to come with a family of his own.  
  
"Come on. We're going to be late at this rate." Aaron says, realizing at the last moment he'd slip up.  
  
"What do you mean, late? Late for what?" Robert asks, his brows raised, a confused look on his face.  
  
"I don't want to be too late, we should get there before it gets crowded. Otherwise we're going to be waiting a while and we're hungry already." He quickly recovers.   
  
"Yeah, you're probably right."   
  
Aaron smiles and wraps his free arm around Robert's waist pulling himself closer to him, Robert wraps his arm around his shoulder and they continue their walk. The restaurant is only a few minutes away and gives them enough time to start planning Aaron's move. They talk logistics, packing, and what if any furniture Aaron wants to bring over. Robert pulls out his phone to make a few calls to cancel anything he had set up for the next few days, he wants Aaron moving in immediately and if that means him going down and helping him pack, then that's exactly what he's going to be doing.  
  
As they arrive to the restaurant Aaron turns to Robert. "See, told you if we made it in time we wouldn't have to wait." He tells him with a smug grin.  
  
Robert lets out a small chuckle. "Is that what I look like?" He asks.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When I give one of my signature smug grins you all go on about? Coz if it is, I can see why I got punched in the face so often." He jokes.  
  
"Shut up." Aaron says leading him through the doors.  
  
"Hey, wait. There's a sign on the window, they're closed for a private par...."  
  
"SURPRISE!"   
  
The booming shouts break lose as Robert's eyes widen and he nearly jumps back, completely caught by surprise.   
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROBERT!"  
  
The voices shout back out. Liv, Chas, Paddy, Victoria, Diane, Bernice, Doug, and Connor all clapping and cheering as they've caught Robert by surprise. One by one they make their way over to greet Robert and wish him a happy birthday.   
  
"You didn't have to go through all this trouble." Robert starts and is quickly cut-off.  
  
"You off your head? This is your first birthday in how long? You crazy if you didn't think it was going to be major." Aaron tells him, beaming a smile. "You might want to enjoy the quiet while you can coz the rest of the Dingle clan will be here soon."  
  
"What? You mean..."  
  
"Yeah...everyone. Harriet was kind enough to let us borrow the bus to wheel everyone over. Belle, Zach, Lisa, Sam, Lydia, Samson, Charity, Noah, Marlon, Cain, Moira, Debbie, Jack, and Sarah...everyone."  
  
Robert lets out a low grumble before chuckling and giving in. He's done being alone, done pretending this isn't exactly what he wanted. To be surrounded by his family,.  
  
The night's gone on long and all the adults have had their fair share of drinks which can only mean one thing when the Dingles are involved. Absolute chaos. It all starts with Chas and Charity singing tunes, badly and out of tune. Lydia and Sam follow trying to dance, trying to get everyone else to dance, including Aaron. Once everything manages to settle down Aaron takes a fork and clinks it to his glass, grabbing everyone’s attention before standing and taking Robert’s hand into his, making him stand along with him.  
  
Aaron sheepishly looks around the room, taking in all the eyes looking back at him before looking back to Robert. “I know we’re already engaged, but I wanted to do this right, to make it proper.” He lets out with a quirky smile. “So.” He says before getting down on one knee as Liv reaches over and hands him a ring box. “Robert Jacob Sugden. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”  
  
Robert quickly pulls Aaron back up and takes his face in between his hands and takes his lips onto his own. The kiss is quick but fierce, he pulls back, a smirk on his face. “Yes! Of course, I will! I love you, Aaron.”  
  
Aaron places his own hands on either side of Robert’s face and strokes his thumbs across his cheek, wiping away the stray tears that broke free of his eyes. They’ve been so entranced in each other they barely noticed the cheers from everyone. It’s not until Arya pulls at Aaron’s leg that they break their gaze and he looks down, picking her up. “Hey monkey.” He says.  
  
 “Does that mean you’re my daddy too?” Arya whispers into Aaron’s ear.  
  
 Aaron pulls back to look her in the eyes. “Would you like that, monkey?”  
  
Arya smiles back and happily nods.

 

____

 

Robert and Aaron walk back home holding hands, their fingers laced together as Aaron leans his head on Robert’s shoulder. It’s a quiet walk though not in an awkward way, but simply because they are too busy enjoying each other’s company. Just the two of them. Chas had offered to take Arya off their hands for the night figuring they’d want some alone time to celebrate. With all the Dingles spending the night in town they’d booked a handful of rooms at a nearby hotel, most of them too drunk to even bother trying to make it back on the bus. 

They make a bit of chat on the way and start discussing dates for the wedding bringing smiles to both their faces. As they arrive to the front door laughter erupts as Robert misses the lock, more than once. He's on such a high that he can't seem to have full control of his fingers. The keys fumbling in his hands, Aaron nudges at his side and takes the keys from his hands. "Let me." He says as he finally gets the door open. He gives Robert a wink and walks through the door but doesn’t get very far. Robert's taken his hand and pulled him back, spinning them around, too quick for Aaron to realize what’s happened. He's being gently slammed into the door as it shuts and he’s being pinned against it.   
  
As he looks up into Robert's eyes he sees it, there's fire in them. It's that look that tells him that nothing else in the world matters, the look that makes him melt instantly. Robert leans down taking Aaron's lips. It’s a soft languid kiss that makes Aaron feel like he's weightless, like he's floating midair. Robert's hands are on the sides of his face, his thumbs caressing his cheeks. He slowly pulls back. "I love you, Aaron Dingle. I love you more than I'll ever be able to put into words." He breathes out.  
  
The words reverberate through his core, they may just be words, but he feels them deep down, feels them in his heart. "And I love you more, Robert Sugden." He smiles back as a tenderness hangs in the air, almost as if time has stopped. Their gaze, the only thing holding everything within the moment, their words, their emotions, their love, until the look in Robert's eyes is back. Until the fire is back. Robert's hands are on Aarons belt, pulling him onto himself. Their bodies flushed with one another as Robert takes Aaron's lips again, only this time it's rougher. There's a need in the way he's kissing him. His tongue parting Aaron's lips, fighting his tongue for dominance. His hands holding Aaron's face in place as they hungrily kiss, only breaking for air.  
  
Aaron finally pushes Robert off a bit and slides his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor as he begins to make his way towards the stairs. Robert gives him a knowing grin and quickly unbuttons his shirt dropping it to the floor as he follows. By the time they've made it upstairs to their bedroom every bit of clothing they had been wearing is littered through the house. Aaron slows down and lets Robert walk in front taking his time to enjoy the view. If there was one part of Robert's body that he loved more than any other it was his arse, perfectly round and bubbly, it was a work of art.

"You like what you see?" Robert joked over his shoulder knowing Aaron had been staring.  
  
"Cheeky git." Aaron returns walking past him, quickly taking a swing at Robert's arse. A loud slap echoes through the room as Robert winces then smirks at the brief sting.  
  
"Oh, that’s how you want to play huh?" Robert says as the walks up behind Aaron and wraps his arms around him from behind. His hands slowly roaming over Aaron's chest and stomach as his lips take his neck. He slowly places kisses to it in all the tender areas he knows make Aaron squirm. Every few kisses turn into nips as he takes the skin between his teeth and gently bites down. Not enough to hurt, but just enough to make him gasp in pleasure. When he sees the vein in his neck straining, is when he knows just how turned on Aaron has become.  
  
He slowly runs a hand down from his chest to his stomach and then lowers it taking Aaron's hardening cock into his hand and begins to stroke him. Aaron further exposes his neck to Robert as he throws his head back gasping at the touch, at the soft stroking that Robert has taken to. He throws his arm up and behind him placing his hand to the back of Robert's neck and pulling him closer to his neck. "Bite me harder." He pleads. The ask is not about pain, only for pleasure, only in knowing that Robert is marking him in some form. He doesn't care if it leaves a mark, he's hoping for it. He doesn't care if anyone sees it, he wants everyone to know he belongs to Robert. "Fuck." He gasps as Robert bites down harder before releasing the skin from his teeth and he begins to suck on it instead.  
  
Aaron whimpers when he feels both Robert's mouth and hand pull away from him, he's about to complain when he feels the force as he's pushed onto the bed face down. He moans as he feels Robert's hands on his arse, his hands parting his cheeks, even more so when he feels his tongue on his hole.  
  
"Fuck, Robert." He moans as Robert's tongue swipes at the sensitive skin, moans even deeper when the feels the tongue pressing into his entrance, and again he whimpers when he feels Robert pull away.  
  
"Move up onto the bed." Robert instructs, and Aaron complies. He moves up so he's not dangling off the edge of the bed while Robert moves about, Aaron's not quite sure what Robert's doing until he hears the click of a cap and feels him straddle him. He can feel the pressure of Robert's weight on the back of his legs just below his arse, his legs on either side of his own, and what he knows to be Robert's cock slapping at the crease of his arse. It's when he sees the bottle of lube drop on the bed that he loses his cool.  
  
"Please, Robert. Please give it to me." He's pleading when he feels Robert's hands parting his cheeks. He throws his back in pleasure as he feels the slight sting of Robert's cock entering him. He takes a deep breath and releases it the threshold is crossed, and he feels Robert glide in, and bites his lower lip when he feels Robert fully in. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck." He whimpers.  
  
Stilling himself, Robert asks in a soft and gentle voice. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"  
  
"God no." Aaron responds. "Please, don't stop." He pleads as he pushes his arse back up into Robert, making him gasp.  
  
Without pulling out Robert leans forward flushing his chest onto Aaron's back and rests his chin onto Aaron's shoulder. "You want me to keep going?" He asks in that voice he reserves only for him and Aaron nods in response.  
  
"Say it."  
  
"Keep going."  
  
"No, tell me exactly what you want."  
  
"Fuck me, Robert...please."  
  
The words are all he needed to hear. Aaron's never been much for the dirty talk, but Robert revels in it. He revels in making Aaron explore this side of himself. He starts to thrust into him slowly as he kisses at his neck. Kisses that turn into licks, licks that turn into bites. He sees the vein in his neck and can't help but lick at it as he picks up pace and begins to slam harder into Aaron. Every thrust comes faster and harder as his sack slaps into Aaron's taint and his breathing becomes labored. He forces himself to slow down, doesn’t want to come too fast.  
  
"No, Robert. I want it. Please don't stop. Please keep fucking me." Aaron begs.  
  
The words alone nearly make him come, but he holds it in and picks his pace up again wanting to give Aaron exactly what he wants. Every thrust going faster, going harder, and all Aaron can do as he lays flat on his stomach is push back into Robert and moan. Robert has his arms wrapped with Aaron's, his hands holding on to Aaron's, their fingers laced together, their bodies move and grind in unison as Robert reaches the point of no return.   
  
"Harder. Robert. Harder." Aaron begs, whimpers, and Robert complies. "Ah god, fuck, fuck." He whimpers.  
  
"Fuck, Aaron, I'm going to come." Robert cries out as he quickly pulls out and his orgasm explodes. Ropes of come stream just as Robert's pulling out, shot after shot land on Aaron's hole and taint. "Fuuuuuck." Robert lets out before reaching down and grabbing a hold of himself, lining himself up before plunging back into Aaron's hole, pounding into him a few more times as he leans down biting into Aaron's shoulder. He slowly pulls out and grabs onto Aaron's legs before flipping him over. He reaches down to his hole and taint wiping up as much of his come as he can and grabs onto Aaron’s hard cock, stocking it slowly using his come to slick it up.  
  
Aaron looks into Robert's eyes with a knowing grin and simply lays back placing his hands behind his head. He watches as Robert straddles him and reaches behind himself lining up Aaron's cock to his own hole. "Fuck that was so hot." Aaron says right before he feels himself enter Robert's tight hole. "Oh fuck." He gasps.  
  
Robert throws his head back in pleasure as he feels the sting of Aaron’s head pushing through his hole, he takes a deep breath and gives himself a minute to adjust. His shoulders relax, and he gasps in ecstasy as the head crosses the threshold and feels the pleasure as Aaron glides right in all the way to the base of his shaft. “Fuck.” The gravel in voice becomes clear as Robert nearly shouts. “Oh god.”  He leans down and takes Aaron’s lips as he breaths him in and begins to slowly ride him. The kisses are passionate yet languid, they take their time savoring every second of it. He slightly pulls back and takes Aaron’s lower lip between his teeth and bites down gently, pulling back. He releases Aaron’s lip and looks him in the eyes. “Fuck me Aaron, fuck me hard.” 

Aaron quickly sits up with Robert still straddling him, wraps his arms around him placing his hands on Robert’s back as he guides him upwards, helping him bounce on him. As Robert throws his head back moaning guttural sounds Aaron glides his tongue across Robert’s nipple, licking at it slowly before gently taking it between his teeth. “Oh fuck!” Robert lets out. “Oh fuck! I’m going to come.” He says seconds before he’s shooting a load, the warm velvety streams landing on Aaron’s chest and stomach only send Aaron into his release. 

“Fuck, I’m going to come. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He growls into Robert’s chest as he unloads into him. His own orgasm lasting longer than he’s used to, he collapses backwards taking Robert with him. Laying together, a pile of tangled limbs they simply smile at each other with heavy eyes feeling sleep calling to them. Aaron reaches his hands to take Robert’s face between his palms and brings him over to place a kiss upon his lips. “I hope you know how happy you make me, Robert. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

Robert looks back at him with glassy eyes. “Best. Birthday. Ever.”

 

 

 

 


	8. I'm Her Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for an update! Sorry it's been a while, but my brain has been a bit fried as of late. That and part of me was dreading this chapter.
> 
> As usual please feel free to leave comments and let me know what you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big move is here and Aaron couldn't be any happier, but part of him worries that everything is going to well and things don't always work that way, not for him and Robert.

**CHAPTER 8**

 

* * *

  

A soft glow of light wakes him, he can tell it's still early and all he wants is nothing more than to just go back to sleep. It's exactly what he's about to do until he feels the warmth next to him, until he looks over and sees Robert's bare back. The bed sheet barely covering his bare arse. He can’t help the small gasp that leaves his mouth right before a soft smile spreads across his face as he rubs his knuckles across his eyes further waking himself. Aaron leans over gently, making sure not to wake Robert and gingerly runs his fingers across his back. He's tracing along the freckles sprinkled throughout it, something that's almost become a favorite past time of his. He's memorized every inch of Robert’s body, every freckle, every dip, and every curve ingrained in his mind. Even after all this time he can’t believe Robert’s his, can’t believe how lucky he is, he can’t believe he has this life with him.  
  
A soft chuckle coming from Robert interrupts him, his fingers still lazily brushing he small of his back, dipping lower and lower.  
  
"You make me hate my freckles even more. You know that." Robert grumbles, it’s a statement not a question. He's always been insecure about them and the way Aaron does this makes him feel even more insecure about them.  
  
"Shut up, you freckled fuck." Aaron quickly replies. "They're beautiful, you're beautiful, and I love them."  
  
"No you don't, you just like teasing me. You love winding me up."  
  
"I promise you I don't. I love them and if I have to kiss every last one of them to prove it to you then so be it...especially the ones on the inside of your thighs." He says in that soft raspy voice he knows drives Robert crazy.  
  
"Shut up." Robert says, as he turns in bed and leans into Aaron placing his head on Aaron's chest.  
  
Aaron leans down placing a kiss to the top of Robert's head as he breaths him in. He wraps his arms around him and gently squeezes making him grunt. They both chuckle and melt into each other as they do every chance they get. Life is too short, and they've wasted enough being apart, being together is all they want. Just thinking about it makes the smile return to Aaron's face.  
  
It's been a hectic few days, but it was all expected. Neither Robert or Aaron could wait any longer, they wanted the move to happen as quickly as possible. They left for Emmerdale first thing in the morning, along with everyone else, the day after Robert's birthday party. The last three days had been spent packing all of Aaron's things and suffering through a couple of farewell get togethers. "It's not like I'm moving overseas, and you can't visit whenever you want." Aaron kept trying to reassure Chas as she cried every time the move was brought up.  
  
"So, I can visit whenever?" She'd asked back and Aaron had looked over to see Robert shaking his head and glaring at him.  
  
"Course you can, mum." He told her, apologetically looking back at Robert as he shrugged.  
  
Robert's hand sneaking under his shirt suddenly pulling Aaron from his thoughts. "Oi, you know Gerry is right next door."  
  
"So? He's bound to learn about the birds and the bees sooner or later."  
  
"Come on." Aaron says sliding out from underneath Robert. "We need to get going. The sooner we get everything ready the sooner we can head out. Today's the big day." He says referring to the big move. Everything was ready all that was left was picking up the Home & James truck they were borrowing from Jimmy, so they could load it up for the move.  
  
"You know, you'd almost think you were looking forward to this." Robert quipped.  
  
"To what?" Aaron questioned rolling his eyes. "Moving in with you and that massive ego of yours?"  
  
"You know you can't resist me."  
  
Aaron scoffs. "More like I can't resist that little monkey of mine."  
  
At the sound of how Aaron refers to Arya, Robert can't help the warmth that builds in his chest, the love for Aaron that pours from him, and the tears that build in his eyes. Aaron just has that effect on him. Makes him feel things he’d never felt before. Makes him want to be a better person, a better everything. He reaches out to poke at Aaron's side, lightly tickling him. Aaron laughs out before Robert grabs a hold of his arm and pulls him back into bed, back into his arms. With Aaron's back to his chest, his head in the crook of his neck, he breaths him in, squeezing him gently. "You sure about this?" He asks, his voice so low, almost wishing he wasn't asking. Deep down he was still terrified this was all a dream, still terrified he didn't deserve it.  
  
Aaron scrunches his face, caught off guard by Robert's doubt. "What do you mean?"  
  
"About leaving the village? Moving in with me...us?" He asks, the smile on his face fading slowly. "If you have any doubts, this is it. I'd rather know now." The tears that had built up moments ago in happiness now breaking free in a different emotion, in doubt, in fear.  
  
Aaron takes Robert's hand and places it to his lips, kissing it lovingly, before sitting up and turning to face him. He cusps Robert's face in his hands and tilts his face so they're looking straight into each other's eyes. "Robert, I love you and I want...I wish that you knew, that you believed you deserve this. That you deserve to be happy. I'll spend the rest of my life making you believe it." He says leaning Robert's head down to place a kiss to his forehead. "So yeah, I'm sure about this. More sure about this than anything in my life and you are the biggest mug if you don't believe me."  
  
"Thank you, Aaron. I don't know what I'd do without ya." He says smiling up at him.  
  
“You and me, this is for good, Robert. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be with you least till we’re 80.” He beams at Robert. “Now, let’s get going. I want to make sure my little monkey has her brekky before we hit the road.”  
  
____  
  
The morning had dragged way longer than expected. Aaron stood by anxious and ready to go, even more so than Robert. He couldn't help it, he was ready to start his new life with the only person who's ever made him feel truly happy, truly himself, the only person who's ever made him feel complete. Chas, Liv, Victoria, and Diane had dragged out their goodbyes as if the parties they had the previous days hadn't been enough. Chas being the most persistent. "Mum!" Aaron nagged at her. "We really need to get going. I don't get why you're being so soppy, you're going to be up there first thing in the morning aren't you?" Relenting, Chas pouted and gave a hug to each Aaron, Robert, and Arya before finally letting them all head out.  
  
By the time they made it home to London they had been too exhausted to really do any unloading of the truck. Both Robert and Aaron grabbed a couple boxes each and called it a night. They ordered some take out and settled in to watch a film with Arya tucked in between them, she tried to watch through heavy lidded eyes as she nodded off occasionally before finally succumbing to her sleep. Aaron looked down marveling at her as he ran his fingers along her cheek, tucking her loose hair behind her ear, trying to keep the plaits in her hair as perfect as Victoria had done them. He remembered how he had embarrassingly asked Victoria to teach him how to plait her hair, so he could do it himself, just another thing he'd happily learn for her, for his little monkey.  
  
"Hey." Robert quietly called out to him. "I'm really happy you're here, you know." He said with a sparkle in his eyes. A sparkle that only came out in Aaron's presence.  
  
"I know." Aaron was quick to return. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." He says leaning for a kiss.  
  
"She spent the whole drive trying to look out the window, she was looking for you the whole time."   
  
Aaron's face brightens, and he can't help the joy it brings him to hear that. He wraps his arms around her as he scoops her up, placing her head on his shoulder and reaches down with his free arm to take Robert's hand. He helps him off the sofa. "Come on, let's put this monkey to bed."  
  
Aaron leads Robert up the stairs, their hands still held together with their fingers laced. As they reach the top of the stairs Aaron takes a second to look down the hall, looking at all the new frames that adorn the walls and his attention is immediately grabbed by his favorite one. The rustic frame holds a picture of him and Arya. It was a close-up shot that Robert caught on a day out at the park. Aaron had been sitting on the bench with Arya on his lap as she fell asleep. The close up had Arya cradled in his chest right under his chin, his chin resting on top of her head. His ocean blue eyes looking down at her so intently. Robert had teased that he could literally see the love in his eyes.

 

As Robert joins him, he sees the picture and remembers back on the day, he remembers the moment so well. How could he forget? It was that instance he knew that Aaron was every bit her father that he was. It was the moment he first thought of approaching the subject of Aaron adopting her. Of asking Aaron to make it official. That was until his doubts crept in, when his doubts made him feel like Aaron would run a mile if he had asked. That fear was no longer there, at least not fully. Aaron was there to stay, Robert could feel it in his bones, he could feel it in his heart.   
  
Aaron walked into Arya's room, laying her down on her bed he gave her a quick kiss on her forehead and tucked her in. Robert felt a swell of pride in Aaron. Pride in the man he had become. In the father he knew he could be. "Aaron?" He quietly called out to him, a small crack in his voice.  
  
Aaron looked up from Arya to Robert. "Everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah. It's just...I...there's something I've been wanting to ask you. Would you..." He stops to let go of the breath he hadn't realized he was holding on to and takes a deep one in. "Would you consider adopting her?" He asks quickly before he loses the nerve to ask.  
  
"You serious?"  
  
"You don't have to. I mean, I'd love it if you would, but don't feel like you have to."  
  
The question catches him off guard, he feels a gasp leave his mouth, feels the tears building in his eyes and for a brief moment he notices the fear in Robert's eyes. Without any further hesitation he rushes around Arya's bed and throws himself at Robert with arms wide open and squeezes him into a hug. "Yeah!" He nearly shouts. "Yeah. Of course, I will."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"You daft?" Aaron quickly shoots back. "I told you Robert, I'm not going anywhere. She may not be my blood, but she's mine. I feel it in my bones. I feel it in here." He says, placing Robert's hand on his chest, on his heart. "She's mine."  
  
Robert pulls back enough to look into Aaron's eyes. "Yeah, she is." He says before placing his lips to Aaron's.  
  
____  
  
  
Robert's chest is expanding and going back down as Aaron stands back and watches. His mouth slightly hanging open, his tongue running along his bottom lip as he leans against the door frame to his new home. He's watching Robert do most of the work, watching him unload the truck, watching him get hot and sweaty, his shirt starting to cling to his chest. Aaron had said he was just going to go check and make sure Arya was okay watching cartoons, but that was over 15 minutes ago. He had run in and checked on her in less than 3. When she’s watching cartoons nothing short of an explosion could pull her away, so she was set. Once he stepped back outside and saw Robert he couldn't help himself, he had to watch and did so for quite some time.  
  
"Oi. You going to help me, or what?" Robert shouted having caught him staring.  
  
"I am helping, I'm supervising." Aaron smirked with a new air of smugness to him.  
  
"Fuck you." Robert chuckled out.  
  
"I will do." Aaron shoots back winking at him. Finally giving in he pushes himself off the door frame and goes back to helping. Not that his mind is really letting him, staring at Robert only made his mind go to one place, made all his blood travel down. They'd managed to unload most of the truck when he finally gives in. He can't hold back any longer. As Robert climbs up the truck Aaron grabs on to his arse, giving him a helping hand, his thumbs purposely slipping and pressing into Robert's hole, through his jeans.  
  
"Oi, don't get any ideas. We need to finish unloading the truck." Robert says as he turns to look down at Aaron. It's instant that he spots it, when he sees the fire in his eyes. He sees the look on his face and quickly falters. "We...we...uh...we really need to finish up here before Chas and Paddy get here." He stutters out.  
  
Aaron doesn't say anything in return, no reply, nothing. He simply places his palms on the edge of the truck and pushes himself up, climbing into the truck. He stands right in front of Robert looking straight up into his eyes and he gently shoves him back nodding his head towards a chair they haven't unloaded yet. Robert gulps down hard, Aaron's in full control here, and it's making him weak in the knees. He looks over his shoulder towards the chair and slowly begins to back up towards it, he nearly trips as he keeps his eyes trained on Aaron.  
  
Aaron slowly turns and grabs a hold of the doors to the back of the truck, closing them, making sure to leave a small gap open for light. When he turns, Robert is standing nervously by the chair and Aaron nods his head at it. "Sit." He tells him as he makes his way towards him.  
  
Robert's sitting on the chair with legs wide open, as Aaron reaches him he quickly drops to his knees and goes for Robert's belt. He quickly unbuckles it and he's working his fingers on the button and zipper before he's practically gliding his jeans and boxers down to his thighs. Robert's already hard, his cock already leaking with precum. Aaron licks his lower lip before taking it between his teeth as he looks back at Robert who's at a loss for words. Aaron taking charge this way always makes him unravel, makes him melt, makes him go completely submissive.   
  
All he can do gasp as he feels Aaron's hand hold on to the base of his cock as he leans down and runs his tongue up his entire length. He stops at the head to slowly swirl his tongue at the slit, licking off the precum that had been leaking. He takes a deep breath trying not to throw his head back, trying to hold on to this gaze they have upon each other. Aaron pulls his tongue back into his mouth savoring Robert's taste before he slowly goes back down and takes Robert into his mouth, still holding the gaze. "Oh, fuck." Robert nearly whimpers as he threads his fingers through Aaron's hair, grabbing hold and helping guide him. He nearly throws his head back, almost loses the eye contact when he feels himself hitting the back of Aaron's throat. "Fuuuuck." He moans.  
  
The filthy sounds coming out of Robert's mouth alone are almost enough to make him come. Part of him wants to grab a hold of himself, wants to fist his cock as he pleasures Robert, but this is all about him. He couldn't help himself, watching him do all that work, watching him get hot and sweaty made him so hungry for Robert. This is all he really wanted. There would be plenty of time for more later. He begins to rhythmically twist his fist as he moves its up and down along with his mouth, his cheeks collapsing as he sucks every time he's pulling back up, and he can tell by Robert's breathing and the guttural sounds coming from him that he's about to come. He feels Robert's hips begin to lift as he unleashes a string of obscenities, ending with the hot spurts shooting down his throat. Stream after velvety stream, he swallows every last drop, tasting the sweetness that must have come from the pineapple Robert had eaten earlier in the morning. He licks his lips before standing and leaning in for a kiss. It's soft at first but quickly becomes more, his tongue parting Robert's lips swirling around with his. Robert can't help but moan into the kiss, tasting himself on Aaron's tongue turns him on more than he had been already. With his softening cock coming back to life he reaches for Aaron's and pouts the moment he pulls back. "Sorry, mate. I already got what I wanted." Aaron sasses him as turns and slowly starts walking back towards the doors.  
  
"But what about what I want?" Robert lets out as he stands, lifting his boxers before pulling his jeans back up.  
  
"After what you just got, you can't complain." Aaron returns as he opens the door to see Chas and Paddy and freezes in place.  
  
"Hiya luv." Chas greets before noticing the panicked look on Aarons face. She looks him over noticing the disheveled hair before she sees Robert doing his belt. Her face grimacing as it all hits her like a bulb going on. "You two are impossible. Like teenagers." She says before she shivers in place and walks off into the house, Paddy trailing behind her trying not to laugh.  
  
Aaron's is still frozen in place when he feels a hand on his shoulder. It could have been a lot worse." Robert tries to say without laughing. "You know, we do have the truck. We can just grab Arya and run away until this is all forgotten."  
  
Aaron lets out a loud sigh as he runs his hands over his face before breaking out into laughter. "Good thing I live here now, yeah? Won't have to spend the rest of my life trying to avoid her."  
  
"Guess it’s just one of the perks, the main one being that man you just can't resist."  
  
"Oh, yeah? Well, where is he? I’d sure like to meet him." Aaron is quick to joke back, earning a poke to his side. Robert launches himself at him tickling at his side just as his mobile rings. He pulls the phone from his pocket, noticing it's work, he quickly kisses Aaron's cheek before he answers.  
  
"Hey. How many times do I have to tell you I hate it when you call me that? What? Shit. No, no, stall them, I'll be there soon." He says before ending the call. He looks over to Aaron with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm so sorry, Aaron, but it's kind of an emergency otherwise I wouldn't."  
  
Aaron smiles at him. He's home now, he has him for the rest of their lives, nothing could phase him now. "Yeah, yeah." He jokingly chides Robert. "I got this, besides Paddy's here, he can give me a hand." He tells him before he leans in and places a kiss to Robert's cheek. "And mum can watch Arya."  
  
"Oh, don't worry about that, I'll drop her off at day camp on my way to work."  
  
"But me mum is here..." Aaron tries to protest.  
  
"You know she doesn't get to play with kids like her that often, she's been looking forward to it. Besides, you know as well as I do she's staying till at least tomorrow night."  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes knowing Robert is right. No way were Chas and Paddy making the trip all the way to London for a few hours visit. He sighs agreeing with him and takes a light swing at Robert's arse. "Go on then. Make sure you get her there quick, I don't want her missing out on any fun."  
  
Robert smiles before giving him a quick kiss and making for the door. He quietly sneaks in and gathers his keys and Arya's things before making his was to the living room where he finds Chas and Arya playing. Arya's laughing as Chas does her best trying to sign something to her, only she's failing miserably, hence Arya's laughter. "No, Chas." Paddy practically sighs. "That's absolutely wrong." He tells her. He steps in and tries placing Chas' hands in the proper position only for her to completely mess them up again. "I think you'll be better off just speaking to her." Paddy tells her, giving up.  
  
Robert softly clears his throat to get their attention, trying his best not to make any eye contact. He's not as embarrassed by what Chas and Paddy nearly caught them doing, at least not as much as Aaron, but he still feels awkward about it. “I really hate to do this, but I have to run into work. It's an emergency and this little monkey has day camp to go to.”  
  
“What? But we just got here.” Chas pouts.  
  
Robert gives in and makes eye contact with Chas. “It’s only for a few hours. I’d just leave her with you guys here, but she has a few friends there that she doesn’t get to see often. I promise it won’t be too long. She does love spending time with her nana Chas, after all.” He says with a smile.  
  
Chas reaches over and gently squeezes Arya into a hug before handing her off to Robert. He leans down a bit as Arya jumps into his arms giggling. Chas and Paddy both stand from where they were sitting in the living room to see them off. Paddy nods smiling at Robert and assures him as they step outside, that he and Aaron will have the truck unloaded and everything set up by the time he returns. Robert nods back with a smile in acknowledgement and stops by the truck to give Aaron one more kiss before placing Arya in her car seat. Once he has her safely buckled in he lifts his head over the hood of his car looking at Chas and Paddy. "You guys make yourself at home, if you need anything, Aaron knows where everything is." He says smiling and ducks into his car as they wave him off.  
  
____  
  
"Don't hurt yourself, Paddy." Chas yells out from the kitchen as Paddy waddles in with the last of the boxes from the truck. He may be heaving, but the move was officially done. All that was left was unboxing and getting everything set up, not that much was needed. Robert already had all the essentials, something Liv was more than chuffed for, it meant she could keep pretty much everything back at the Mill. She loved everything too much and hated the idea of changing any of it. While the Mill may have had bad memories for both Robert and Aaron, for Liv it had been full of good ones. Her first real home. She had worried that Aaron would be taking the majority of the furniture, leaving her with new furniture to buy, fortunately for her, Aaron quickly alleviated her worries. He let her know that the only furniture he was taking was his favorite chair, one of the pair that Robert had bought for Aaron and Liv, along with his everything in his home office. Something else Liv was excited about. One more empty room meant Gabby could move in. Aaron shook his head at the thought at the kind of trouble Liv, Gabby, and Gerry would get up having the Mill to themselves. A quick smile spreads across his face just thinking about that, he'd almost let out a laugh before the ringing from the phone in the kitchen pulled him from his thoughts. He quick puts down the box in his hand and walks over to pick it up.  
  
The abruptness of the call confusing him, not sure who it could be, or how he should answer. He simply says, "Hello."  
  
The voice of a youthful woman coming in from the other end. "Hello, this is Kattie and I'm calling from Nicki's Day Camp. I'm afraid Arya is feeling poorly, she's looking a bit pale, it might be best if you come pick her up." She says, her voice seems to move further away from the phone for a second as Aaron hears her asking someone if they're okay. _It must be Arya_. He thinks to himself. "Oh my god, I think she's fainted." The woman frantically lets out.  
  
Aaron nearly drops the phone feeling a sense of dread go through him, nearly doesn't respond, until he feels Chas' hand on his shoulder. "Everything alright, luv?"  
  
He shakes his head, snapping himself out of his state. "I'm on my way." He says, quickly hanging the phone up. "It's Arya, we have to go." Aaron lets out in a panic.  
  
Chas can see the distress in his eyes, it’s as clear as day. "It's going to be okay, luv. I'm sure she'll be okay." She tries to reassure him before turning to Paddy and asking him to stay behind and watch over things there. "Let's go."  
  
Aaron nods and quickly runs for his keys. He's in his car with Chas beside him in seconds and pulling out of the driveway. Chas reaches over and places her hand on Aaron's shoulder trying to ground him. Trying to keep him calm. She starts running through all the times he had been sick as a kid, how it just happened out of nowhere, and how he quickly bounced back. "Kids are resilient Aaron and our little Arya is the most resilient I've ever known." As caring as the words are, as comforting as they should be, they do nothing to calm him. There’s a feeling in his gut, a feeling that's not going away. Everything's been going too well for him. For Robert. Everything is too good, and nothing ever stays that way. Not for them. He quickly pulls his mobile from his pocket and dials Robert, but he doesn't get an answer. "Fuck." He grunts out as he slams his hand onto the steering wheel. Must be in a meeting. He tells himself before leaving a voicemail. "Robert, it's Arya. She's fainted at Nicki's, I'm almost there, I'll call you when I get her." He says, ending the call just as they arrive. He's parked and out of the car before Chas has even opened her door. Everything else around him having dropped from his focus, there is only one thing that matters at this moment, only one person, his little monkey.  
  
"Arya. I'm here for Arya." Aaron breathes out, looking at the girl at the front desk. "Where is she?" He asks.  
  
"And you are?" She asks.  
  
"I'm her...I’m her dad."   
  
"I'm sorry sir, but I don't recognize you. Are you authorized to pick her up in emergencies?" She asks.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What's your name, sir?"  
  
"Aaron, Aaron Dingle." He lets out in frustration. "Why does it matter? Where is she? I need to see her."   
  
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you take her. You're not in any of our records."  
  
"What? She's my little girl. My husband, he's her dad. Please, I need to see her, need to know she's alright."  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't."  
  
"What's going on? Where is she?" Chas asks as she runs over to Aaron.  
  
"She won't let me see her." Aaron nearly in tears, worried for Arya.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Madam, I can't just let anyone walk in and take the kids. If it’s not the parents, it has to be someone who's been authorized by the parent to do so." She tries before Aaron slams his fist onto the counter. "I swear, if you don't let me see her."  
  
"Aaron? Oh my god, I'm so glad you’re here." A woman calls out behind the girl at the counter.  
  
Aarons runs to her and pulls her into a hug. "Nicki! How is she? What's going on?"  
  
"She's okay, she's come to. Maybe it was just a dizzy spell, but I highly suggest you take her to the doctor as soon as possible. She was looking a little pale... where's Robert?"  
  
"He's working. I've left him a message."   
  
Nicki looks at him with concern in her eyes then looks over to the girl at the counter. "I'm so sorry about that, she's new. I'll add you to the records, so this never happens again. Come on, I'll take you to her." 

Aaron nods and follows behind her as she leads them to play room near the back. As she opens the door he spots Arya sitting at a small colored table, her head leaning down as she concentrates on what she’s doing. She’s holding tightly on her color pencil, her bright green eyes trained on the sheet, and her tongue sticking out, something she’s been doing a lot more of lately when concentrating, something she had clearly picked up from Aaron. It takes her a moment to realize she’s not alone in the room and as she looks up she spots Aaron and immediately flies off her seat running for him. He’s on his knees with arms open as she reaches him and jumps in for a hug. He pulls her in tightly, breathing her in as he cradles her head to his chest. That feeling in his gut starting to fade as he holds her, he squeezes gently until she grunts out a giggle and he pulls back to look her in the eyes. “Hiya, monkey. You feeling better?” He asks her. With a sad looking pout on her face that makes his heart break, she nods in response. Aaron again pulls her in tight to his chest just as Robert runs in looking just as panicked as Aaron had felt.

“What happened?” He immediately asks as he runs to their side and pulls them both in tightly into a hug. He can see the worry, the panic that’s still clear on Aaron’s face.

“I don’t know. They said she wasn’t well, she was looking a bit pale, and she fainted.” Aaron informs him, tears fighting at his eyes. Though some of the worry had gone now that Arya seemed better and furthermore now that Robert was there, he couldn’t help that awful feeling in his gut. That feeling telling him that something wasn’t right. That something’s waiting to go wrong.

“That’s it, then. We’re taking her to the Children’s A&E right now.” He says looking at Aaron. “Come on.”

Taking a deep breath as his frustration set in, Robert paced about the family room they had been waiting in for a couple of hours now. Aaron sat on a chair with Arya sleeping in his arms. She’d finally been able to rest her eyes after the several exams they ran on her shortly after they had arrived. Arriving with a cup of coffee, Chas walked over to Robert handing him the cup before pulling him into a hug. She squeezed him tightly and tried to comfort him. “Everything’s going to be okay, luv. Why don’t you sit down and try to relax, I’m sure they’ll come let us know everything is okay soon enough.”

“Yeah, you’re right Chas. She’s tough. Tougher than I ever was.” He says trying to convince himself, trying to keep himself from losing it. Ever since a baby, her hearing aside, she had never been sick, not once. She was a little fighter, never complained about anything, not a cut or scrape. Her suddenly feeling sick, fainting, it’s disconcerting. Robert’s head quickly snaps up at the knocking on the door.

“Mr. Sugden, Mr. Dingle.” Nurse Hanna calmly greets them. “If you would be so kind as to follow me. The doctor has her results and he’d like to speak to you.” She informs them.

“What?” Robert is quick to question. “He couldn’t come to inform us here?”

“I’m sorry, sir. I couldn’t say, I was simply instructed to bring you to his office.”

“Mum, can you take her?” Aaron asks Chas as he stands from his seat. Chas nods and he slowly places Arya in her arms. “We’ll be right back.”

Aaron walks over to Robert and takes his hand lacing their fingers together. Looking back Nurse Hannah the lets out.

"Lead the way." 

 

 

 


	9. You Have To Be Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron learn what's wrong with Arya and struggle to cope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I kept jumping back and forth changing things so I hope it still makes sense.
> 
> As always please feel free to leave comments.

**CHAPTER 9**

* * *

 

Arya is still on his mind as he exits the family room with Aaron behind him, how could she not? She was all he had for so long, his whole reason for living. The thought of her being sick is not something he was prepared for, wasn’t something he wanted to even think about. He still remembers combing through the files, looking through every potential surrogate to make sure there was no history of illnesses, he remembers doing everything he could to make sure his baby would be healthy. The part he always forgot, or chose to ignore more like, was the doctor telling him anything was still possible. The memory only serving to make every inch of him feel like it’s shaking even though his entire body feels like it’s going numb. He can feel the pit in his stomach taking over, making him feel like he’s about to lose the its contents. They don’t know anything just yet, but experience tells him his luck has run out. Nothing ever stays good for him. He doesn’t deserve good, and nothing in his life is more good than Arya, than his little monkey.  
  
If Aaron had not been there tightly holding onto his hand, he’d feel like he was falling down a pit, like he was being swallowed by a void. If Aaron wasn’t there now, he doesn’t know what he’d do. _Don’t even think about that, he’s here now. Always will be. He’s not going anywhere._ He tells himself.  
  
“Mr. Sugden.” Nurse Hannah’s gentle voice snaps him out of his thoughts. As they near the Nurse’s station, an older man in his 50’s with graying hair waved them over and introduced himself. “I’m Doctor Madden.” He started as he gave a glance over the charts he had been holding. “I’m sorry, but I thought it best if I just meet you out here rather than my office. My apologies if it caused any alarm.” He says, as he flips through the charts one last time before looking back between Robert and Aaron.  
  
“What is it? What’s wrong with my daughter?” Slips out of Robert’s mouth before he even realizes. As he looks over to Aaron he sees the slight hurt in his face. The hurt is all over Aaron’s eyes, he could try and lie, but Robert’s always been able to read him like a book. Instantly the pit in his stomach feels like it’s grown tenfold. His head is all over the place thinking of the worst and now he’s unintentionally hurt Aaron. Feeling a slight squeeze to his hand he quickly looks back over to Aaron trying his best to convey how he felt, how sorry he was for hurting him. He didn’t mean it the way it came out. Arya wasn’t just his, not anymore, she was Aaron’s as well. He knows how much Arya means to him, how close they’ve become over the past several months. The thought makes him realize how scared Aaron must also be, how worried sick he must be for Arya. He takes a deep breath and does his best to put on a brave face, if not for himself then at least for Aaron, for Arya.  
  
“I’m afraid we don’t know yet, Mr. Sugden, and for that reason I would like to get her admitted so we can run more tests. I want to make sure your little girl is okay and that we are not sending you home without any answers.” He reassured Robert.  
  
All Robert could do was nod in response and lift his free hand to the back of his neck. “Yeah, just…please make sure she’s okay.”  
  
“Of course, Mr. Sugden. She’s in good hands. You can have a few minutes with her if you like, then Nurse Hannah here will take her up, so we can get started with her tests.”  
  
Squeezing tight to Aaron’s hand he nods in response before the doctor turns, grabbing a hold of another set of charts and walks off. A gentle squeeze to his hand brings him back to Aaron. Giving him a slight smile, Aaron reaches over, placing a hand on Robert’s cheek. “She’s going to be okay.” Aaron tries to reassure him, though the doubt in his eyes makes it clear to Robert that Aaron himself doesn’t fully believe that.  
  
“Come on then. Let’s get back to her.” Aaron says, trying to keep the smile on his face.  
   
  
____  
   
  
“That’s my little monkey.” Aaron praises Arya as she stopped on Top Gear after flipping through all the channels. “I knew you’d make the right choice.” He said as he reached over and tickled her sides, making her laugh, tears prickling at his eyes just hearing the sound. She looked tired, the dark circles under her eyes making it obvious she had not gotten any proper rest since they started with all the tests. As always, he was in awe of her, of how strong she was at such a young age, it killed him to think of her having to deal with all of this. It broke his heart even more to see her like this when she should be out playing with other kids, instead she’s stuck spending her time here in a hospital. The weekend had come and gone and it seemed the doctors were still no closer to telling them what was wrong. Both him and Robert had taken turns making a trip back home for a shower and a clean change of clothes. They had been afraid of leaving her alone even though Paddy had volunteered to stay behind, as Arya refused to be without at least one of her “daddies”.   
  
As he feels a tug on his arm he looks down at Arya, who furrows her brow and puts her hand out in front of her with her index finger sticking out, all her other fingers tucked in, she pivots her hand side to side a couple of times. She then places her open hand near her forehead and taps her thumb to it twice. “Where’s daddy?” She signed to Aaron.   
  
“Oh, monkey. He’ll be back any minute now, he had to go home to take a shower coz he was starting to get smelly.” He joked hoping to lighten the mood, it worked as Arya broke into laughter. Aaron stretched out and pulled her closer into his side, trying to get comfortable. He’d been laying with her on her bed watching telly for a couple of hours now while Robert and Chas took their turn heading back to the house.   
  
“Hey, mate.” Paddy whispered as he stuck his head in the door. “Coffee?” He asked, waving a cup in his hand.  
  
Aaron nodded in response sticking his hand out as Paddy walked into the room handing him the cup. “It’s not very good, but it’s all they had.” He says nervously chuckling. “Have…have you heard anything yet?”   
  
Aaron purses his lips and shakes his head, aggravation spreading across his face, and his own exhaustion wearing him down. “It’s gonna be alright, mate.” Paddy says placing his hand to Aaron’s shoulder trying to comfort him. “She’s a tough girl. She’s already tougher than you and she’s just a kid." He says lightly, in that way that only Paddy talks. That awkward way that feels like a joke yet doesn’t at the same time, that way that makes Aaron want to roll his eyes.  
  
Aaron looks up at Paddy, every fiber of his being praying that he’s right, praying that nothing’s wrong with Arya. He gives him a soft smile, thankful that he has him in his life. Their relation had been slightly strained over the years but had been on a speedy recovery over the past one. Especially since Aaron stopped lying to himself, since he decided to fight for what really mattered, since he decided to fight for Robert. Once he stopped trying to make everyone else but himself happy, everything else just fell properly into place. He reaches his hand to his shoulder placing it over Paddy’s and gently squeezes. “Thank you, Paddy.”  
 

“No need for thanks, mate. You know I’m here for you.”  
  
____  
  
  
Aggravated grunts escape Robert’s mouth as he makes his way around the kitchen looking for the coffee pods he’d been searching for. His breathing has become erratic, and his head is all over the place, he hasn’t been able to keep his head focused for days now and it’s wearing him down. He’s been trying to keep himself steady, he’s been doing his best to keep himself from thinking the worst, only it’s not going so well. “Where the fuck are they?” He mumbles to himself. Every moment they don’t get any answers, every m they’re kept waiting, only prolonging his aggravation. The same aggravation that only gets worse as he continues to try and slam the cupboards shut. He curses himself for picking out soft close cupboards. “Fuck!” Slips out before he feels a hand on his shoulder and he quickly remembers Chas had accompanied him, she had been taking a shower when he came down to the kitchen to prepare some coffee.  
  
As he turns, Chas takes his face between her hands as she tries to calm him. He can see the worry in her eyes, and the love, something he’s still trying to get his head around. She’s become like a second mother to him in such a short amount of time. “It’s going to be alright, luv.” She tells him with a hopeful smile. “You’re a dad now, Robert, and you have to be strong for our little girl. Whatever happens, you’re not alone.” She says pulling him into a hug when something in him finally breaks.  
  
“I’m so scared, Chas.” He quietly sobs into her shoulder as he leans into the hug. “What if…what if it’s something serious?” The question is leaving his mouth before he even realizes, he’d been trying to keep himself from thinking negative, from letting his head go down that road. He had been trying to stay strong, but the love and tenderness coming from Chas has reminded him of his mother, of Sarah and how she would comfort him. The feeling finally allowing him to be vulnerable, he lets go. “I can’t lose her."   
  
“You can’t think that way, luv. You have to stay positive, you have to stay strong for her.”  
  
He nods his head in response and swallows past the lump in his throat. “Thanks.”  
  
“For what?”   
  
“For being here, for giving me Aaron, for everything. She might not be…she might not be your grandchild by blood, but she loves you all the same.”  
  
Chas immediately raises her hand, waving him off before giving him a soft smile. “Don’t you even. That little girl is my grandchild, no one can tell me otherwise, and no need for thanks. I’m glad I’m here, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”  
  
Robert smiles down at Chas as he feels his breathing returning to normal, the talk with her helping calm him, helping him keep his mind off negative thoughts. “You want a cuppa?” He asks as he returns to what he was doing, quickly finding everything he needed now that he had a clear head.   
  
“Yeah, that sounds lovely. Aaron might…”   
  
“Already on it.” He responds already fixing a cup of tea for Aaron.  
   
  
____  
   
  
“Has there been any news?” Robert asks the second he walks in through the door to Arya’s room, his voice immediately lowering the moment he sees Arya is sleeping. A soft smile spreads across his face as he walks over to her bedside where he leans down and places a kiss to her forehead.  
  
Aaron looks up at him and shakes his head. “No, nothing yet.” He says before a knock at the door grabs their attention.  
  
“Any news?” Robert immediately questions Nurse Hannah as she walks in.   
  
“Mr. Sugden, Mr. Dingle. If you would be so kind as to follow me. Dr. Madden has requested to see you in his office.”  
  
“Does he have any news? The results?” Aaron asks.   
  
“I couldn’t say.” She said pursing her lips. “I don’t want to inform you incorrectly.” She tells them as she walks out of the room looking back to make sure they’re going to follow.   
  
“Chas, Paddy, can you guys please keep an eye on her?” Robert asks.  
  
“Of course, luv.” Chas quickly replies and both Robert and Aaron are off behind the Nurse.  
  
Robert can feel his heart rate jump, he knows he should be hopeful, but he can’t help the fear creeping in and sending his heartbeat into overdrive. Aaron looks him in the eyes as he takes a hold of his hand and he laces his fingers through Robert’s. He wants to reassure him, wants to tell him that everything will be alright, only he doesn’t know that it’s true. He pours every bit of emotion and love that he has into the gaze he’s holding with Robert, hoping it’s enough. If even for a second, Robert can feel his heartbeat return to normal and he softly smiles at Aaron.  
  
“Mr. Sugden, Mr. Dingle.” Dr. Madden greets them the moment they walk through the door into his office. “Would you please have a seat.”  
  
“Can you please just tell us what’s wrong with her?” Robert asks, barely letting him finish what he was saying.   
  
Dr. Madden stands from his seat and walks around his desk, leaning back into it as he crosses his arms, with a sympathetic look on his face he opens his mouth for a second then quickly closes it. It's clear that he's trying to find the best way to break the news. _This can’t be good_. Is the only thing that manages to run through Robert’s mind. “Can you please just tell us? We need to know, how serious is it?” Robert asks in defeat. There's no point in denying it any longer, the news won’t be good. Not with all the wrong he's done in his life. His heart breaks knowing that whatever happens to his little girl, to his little monkey, it's all because of him. It's all his fault.  
  
“As you know, we’ve been running every test and exam that we could on her and her blood samples we collected shortly after she was admitted.” Dr. Madden begins to explain before Aaron quickly cuts him off.   
  
“What the hell is it, what’s wrong with her?"   
  
“I’m afraid we are looking at Aplastic Anemia.” Dr. Madden replies. “It is a very rare blood disorder that’s often linked to longed exposure to certain drugs or chemicals, but unfortunately in many cases such as with Arya’s, we can’t find a cause.”  
  
Aaron looks over to Robert and sees the blank expression on his face, it’s a look he hasn’t seen on him in years, a look he hoped to never see again. The same look he had that night he found him packing his car. “Is it fatal?” Aaron hears Robert ask.   
  
Dr. Madden purses his lips and nods his head. “In severe cases, yes it can be.”  
  
“In severe cases, like Arya’s?” Robert follows up, as if knowing what Dr. Madden was slowly trying to break to them.   
  
Again Dr. Madden nods his head. “I’m afraid so, but there is still time, we just need to act quickly. We have to plan a course of treatment.”  
  
A small ray of hope comes shining back at those words and Robert quick looks back up to Dr. Madden. “So, there’s a chance?”   
  
“Of course, but we must act quickly.”  
  
“What do we have to do?” Both Robert and Aaron ask in unison.   
  
“For this type of disease, a bone marrow transplant is ultimately the best treatment to save her life. We’re not talking about just a treatment here, we’re talking about something that could completely cure her of this. If we do this and everything goes smoothly, there is no reason Arya can’t grow up and live a full and healthy life.” Dr. Madden informs them, finally giving them a hopeful smile.   
  
“Okay…yeah, then the bone marrow transplant it is. What’s the next step?” Robert asks, squeezing tightly onto Aaron’s hand which he was still holding.   
  
“We will need to test you and all of your family to see if any of you are a matching donor. Her mother, is she in the picture in any way?" Dr. Madden asks. "She should also be tested.”  
  
Robert slowly shakes his head. "Not really, she was a surrogate, but we do keep in touch. I'll phone her and ask."  
  
"Good. There's no guarantee that she'll be a match, same as you for that matter, which is why it's best we test you all."  
  
"Of course, anything." Aaron replies.   
  
"It's a simple test, all we'll need is a swab from inside your mouth and we can have results in three to five days. In the meantime, I'd like to get her started on radiation treatments to clean out her bone marrow."  
  
A sudden wave of nausea hits Robert, he knew things weren't looking great, but hearing the words _radiation treatments_ brought it all in. It's all too much and he's heaving before he even realizes it. He feels like the floor has been pulled from beneath him, feels like he's about to pass out, but Aaron is by his side just as quickly rubbing at his back trying to keep him calm. Had he had much to eat the last couple of days, the entire contents of his stomach would probably be spilled across the floor at the moment.   
  
"I'm... I'm so sorry." Robert apologizes as soon as he collects himself.  
  
"There's nothing to apologize for." Dr. Madden replies, handing him a sick bag. "I know that this is a lot to take in, it's not something any parent ever wants to hear, but you just have to remember that she has every chance to live a long healthy life. We just have to move quickly."  
  
____  
  
  
His mind still reeling from the news, Robert can’t find any words, the walk back to Arya’s room was quiet. A quiet he'd rather not have, his heart feels heavy and it aches for comfort, aches for someone to make everything alright. The gentle squeeze in his hand brings him back, he looks back at Aaron and gives him the faintest of smiles. No one knows him the way Aaron does, he's always been able to read him with ease. Everything from his eyes to his body language, Aaron could tell what kind of mood he was in just by looking at him. He could tell Aaron knew exactly what was going through his mind, knew he couldn't find the words, so the gentle squeeze was his way of letting him know he's not alone. Aaron wasn't going to force him to talk, he would wait until he was ready.   
  
It’s not until they reach the door that Robert finally stops and turns to Aaron. “What am I going to tell her? I…” He gulps hard trying to swallow past the lump in his throat. “I don’t know what to say.” Tears run down his face as he tries to think of what he could possibly tell them, tell her.  
  
Aaron brings his hand to Robert’s face wiping away his tears. “It’s okay, you don’t have to know.  We’ll tell her together.”  
  
Robert nods before leaning in and placing his forehead to Aaron’s, he brings his hands up and holds on to his face as he rubs his thumbs across his cheeks. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
  
Aaron closes the small gap between them and places his lips to Robert’s. Every fiber of his being aching for him, begging him to protect Robert, to keep him from feeling sadness. He's failed him before and he won't ever do it again. He will be his rock, he'll be the support he needs. “You ready?”   
  
Robert nods and takes a deep breath before he opens the door and walks through. Arya is the first to see them walking in and the first to call out to him. “Daddy!” She shouts.   
  
“I wanna go home.” She pleads, and he immediately breaks. Tears run down his cheeks as he takes her into his arms, gently squeezing her. His reaction is quickly picked up by Chas and Liv who had been spending the day watching films with Arya. Liv is up and hugging to Robert’s side, she's apologizing before he has a chance to say anything. He wraps an arm around her and pulls her in tighter before he feels Arya’s tiny hands wiping away his teams.  
  
“Don’t cry, daddy.” She says before kissing his cheek.  
  
“I’m sorry, monkey. I don’t want to make you sad, but we can’t go home yet.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because you’re sick, monkey, and the doctors...they have to make you better.”  
  
“If I get better, will you stop crying? I don’t like it when you’re sad.”  
  
 "I'm sorry...I promise not to be sad if you can promise me one thing, monkey." He speaks softly into her ear.  
  
Arya leans back looking at him quizzically. Her brows furrowed as if confused. He's never asked her to promise him anything. "What?" She asks.  
  
"I need you to be strong, baby. The doctors are going to do everything they can to make you better, but I need you to be strong. Can you do that for me?" Robert asks, fighting back tears, hating that he even has to ask, that they find themselves here. She's just a kid, his kid, he can't lose her.  
  
"Like daddy Aaron?" She asks.  
  
"What do you mean?" Robert asks.  
  
"Daddy Aaron has so many scars and he's okay. He was strong, right?"  
  
Swallowing past the lump in his throat he tries to make sure his voice doesn't break, even though every bit of him feels like he's about to completely unravel. "Yeah, daddy Aaron is the strongest person I know." He says looking back to Aaron who's standing near the door fighting back his own tears as he holds on to Chas.  
  
"You think you can be strong like daddy Aaron?"  
  
Arya smiles up at Robert and nods her head. All Robert can do is look at her in complete awe, it still amazes him how strong and brave she is. Still blows him away that she turned out the way she did, when all she had was him. His thoughts are interrupted as Aaron walks up to them and Liv backs up giving Aaron the chance to pull them into his arms. They're not alone anymore. It's no longer him and Arya against the world. They're surrounded by family, by people that love them, by people he loves in return. They'll get through this together.  
  
____  
  
  
The hospital cafeteria is the last place he wants to be, and eating is the last thing on his mind. The only reason Aaron finds himself here is sitting across from him, his mother, Chas Dingle. She had been nagging at him nonstop to eat something until he finally had enough and agreed to join her. He can't remember the last proper meal he had as his appetite eludes him. He sits in place where he's been picking at his food for the past hour, not eating, not saying a word, all he can do is worry. It had been a week since Arya was diagnosed, a week since Robert, himself, and a swarm of family members all tested to see if they were a match to donate. When the Dingles rallied together, they went all out. Every last member of the Dingles had come up to be tested and with sorrow one by one they had all been called and informed they were not a match. Victoria, Diane, Doug, and Bernice followed with the same bad news. As bad as every one of those calls had been, nothing compared to the night Robert received his. Victoria and Liv had forced them to go get some much-needed rest, begrudgingly they agreed. After a long needed hot shower Aaron had walked back downstairs to find Robert on the phone. He vividly remembers the heartbreak on his face when they told him he was not a match, he remembers the phone hitting the floor, and he remembers holding Robert as he cried for hours.  
  
"How you holding up, luv?" Chas asked as she placed her hand over his.  
  
"How do you think?" He nearly spat at her, it came out a lot harsher than he had intended, but his exhaustion was wearing him thin.  
  
"Aaron, you can talk to me." She pleaded him.  
  
"They just called Liv..." He lets out under his breath.  
  
"She's not a match, is she?"   
  
Aaron can't find the strength to say the words, he simply shakes his head as a tear breaks free of his eyes and Chas quickly stands from her seat and runs around the table to Aaron. She barely manages to pull him into her arms as he fully breaks into tears.  
  
"Just down to me now." He lets out between sobs.  
  
"There's still hope, luv."  
  
"No there isn't, is there?"  
  
“Oh sweetheart, you can’t give up. There’s still a chance.” She says, feeling Aaron gently squeezing into her hug. “You will be a match…you will be a match and our little girl will be alright.”  
  
"How!? How could I possibly be a match!?" He nearly shouts. "Her own mum wasn't a match, Robert wasn't a match; how could I possibly be one? I'm not her real dad, I'm nothing to her." Aaron cries out in tears.  
  
Chas pulls back so they can clearly see each other's eyes. "Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare. You love that little girl like she's your own and she loves you back just as much. You know it, I know it, Robert knows it. I've seen the way he looks at the two of you, you're every bit her dad far as he's concerned."  
  
“I can’t lose them, mum. I can’t lose them.”  
  
“You won’t.”  
  
“I just...I just got him back. If anything happens to her, it’ll kill him, and I couldn’t handle it. I couldn't handle losing either one of them.” He cries, nestling back into her shoulder.  
  
Chas pulls back, cupping his face in her hands. She gently wipes the tears from his cheeks and gives him a hopeful smile. “You will be a match, I know it. Your little girl needs you to be strong for her and Robert needs you to be strong for him as well…and I'll be strong for you." She tells him before placing a kiss to his forehead. "Now, please eat something. You haven't eaten in days and she needs you to be strong and healthy if you’re going to be her donor. We can't have you getting sick. Get your strength up because you are going to need it.”  
  
____

  
It had been three days after Liv got the call telling her she wasn't a match when Dr. Madden had stopped by Arya’s room. Robert had been laying in bed with Arya as she slept tucked into his side, while Aaron read one of Robert’s books he had brought along to pass some time. They both quickly stood up from their spots and joined him when he walked in. The look on his face immediately made Aaron’s stomach drop. Every time he had spoken to them, Dr. Madden had a hopeful look on his face, this time however, it was clear he was about to deal them yet another blow. Aaron took a hold of Robert’s hand knowing what was coming, knowing they would need each other after the news.

“I’m really sorry.” He started and both Aaron and Robert felt as if their feet would give out. “But it doesn’t look like you are a match, Aaron.” 

“What’s next? What happens now?” Robert asked, his voice breaking. He had been holding on to the hope that Aaron would be a match, that the very man that gave his life meaning would again save his life in another way, and that hope had now slipped away.

“She has been officially entered into the national registry for a donor.”

“Do you have any idea how long that could be? Is it going to hurt her chances of recovery?” Aaron managed to ask, his brain had gone into overdrive and wanted to run a list of questions, but the two most important ones were what came out first.

“I’m sorry Aaron, but I couldn’t say. We could find a donor today, could take a week, could take a month. I don’t want to give you any false hope, and I’m afraid that the longer it takes the more chances we risk for any complication.”

Aaron could see that Robert was doing his best to keep it together and remembered his conversation with Chas, she was right, he needed to be strong for Robert as well. As hard as it was hitting him, he knew that it was hitting Robert even worse, and he had promised himself that he would not fail him again. As Robert gripped onto his hand, Aaron shot question after question at Dr. Madden, he needed to make sure they were prepared for everything. With each question Aaron could feel Robert’s grip on his hand loosening, could see the drop in his shoulders, and saw the moment he lost hope. When Dr. Madden left the room, Robert’s hand finally dropped, slipping away from Aaron’s hold, and without a word he walked back to Arya’s bed and laid down with her.

Clearing his throat Aaron told Robert there were a few more questions he wanted to ask Dr. Madden and with a nod from Robert he slipped out of the room. As he stepped outside, it felt as if he’d been holding his breath underwater for hours, as if he’d been deprived of air for so long, and he was just coming up for air. It all hit him too quickly and he felt like he was about to be sick, taking deep breaths he made a run for the toilets and nearly knocked Victoria down as she stepped out of the lift with coffee in hand. “Oi.” She started to chastise him before seeing the look on his face. “Aaron? What is it? What’s wrong? Is Arya okay?”

With a hand clinging to his chest, tears ran down his face as he finally broke down, yet all he could think of was that he was glad he’d made it far from Arya’s room. Robert has enough to worry about, the last thing he wants is Robert worrying about him as well. He shakes his head trying to collect himself before his breathing somewhat returns to normal.

“You weren’t a match, were you?” Victoria asks as it finally hits her, tears now forming in her own eyes.

All Aaron could do was shake his head and wrap his arms around her. “I’m so sorry, Vic.” He sobbed.

“Aaron, it’s not your fault. You can’t think that way. We need to stay strong, stay positive.” She tells him trying to give him hope. “So, what now? They put her into a national list, yeah?” She asks and Aaron nods in response. “Okay, so someone out there will be a match. We just need to hold on and be strong for her. She needs us, Rob needs us.” He pulls back, looking him in the eyes. “You look awful. Tell you what, why don’t you take Rob back home and get some rest? You two really need it, me and Liv will watch after Arya. Have a girl’s night in. You two recharge and come back.” Victoria insists.

It had been three whole days since both Aaron and Robert last left Arya’s side and Robert was looking all the worse for it. He hadn't been able to sleep through a single night since Arya had been admitted and he had been just as bad about eating. The dark circles under his eyes were clear as day against his fair skin and only seemed to get worse every time someone in the family was told they weren’t a match. He knew Victoria was right, they needed a break, they needed to recharge. He reluctantly nodded though, unsure that Robert would agree. “What if he says no?”

“Don’t take no for an answer.” She insists as she lead him back to Arya’s room. 

As they walked back in, Nurse Hanna was prepping Arya for another round of treatments as Robert watched over his little girl. Aaron could see him doing his best to keep his brave face on, but he knew him well enough, knew every tell on his face. He could see how close he was to losing it. _Vic is definitely right._ He thought to himself.

“Robert, come on.” Aaron pleaded with him. “Vic and Liv are staying with her and Nurse Hannah will be with them keeping an eye on Arya until the treatment’s done. You’re coming with me, end of.” He finally said grabbing a hold of his hand.

Robert finally relented and walked over to Arya’s bedside. His heart breaking seeing her in such a state, the radiation treatments were starting to wear on her. She was looking pale, even more so than usual and she had been very worn down, but in true Arya Sugden fashion she kept her smile through it all. She lazily looked up at him and smiled as he reached down and stroked her face. “Hey, monkey. Me and daddy Aaron are going back home for a little rest and to pick up some toys and clothes for you, if that’s okay?” He asked her.

She lazily rubbed her eyes and nodded. “Auntie Vic and auntie Liv are here, we’re going to watch films.”

Robert smiled down at her and placed a kiss to her forehead before Aaron followed, he looked down and also placed a kiss to her forehead as she did her best to giggle. “Try not to have too much fun without us.” Aaron teased as he tickled her sides.

 

____

 

The drive back home had been silent for the most part. Aaron had done his best trying to talk to Robert, trying to get him to open up without pushing him, but all he got in return were single word responses. He could see it in his eyes, the fight leaving him, and it terrified him. He had just gotten him back, and only weeks ago had been planning to marry the love of his life, his soulmate. Now he could only feel him slipping away, he didn’t know how to fix things, but he knew he had to try.

“Robert.” Aaron called out to him as they walked through the front door of their home, he took his hand and pulled him back spinning him around, so they were eye to eye. “Please talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He let out, no fight left in his voice.

“Robert, please don’t push me away.” Aaron begged, tears running down his face. “I can’t lose you again. I can’t.”

“What do you want from me Aaron?” He yells back. “She’s sick and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“I want you to talk to me Robert. Don’t hide from me, you’re not alone anymore.”

“I don’t know, Aaron.” Robert lets out, his voice cracking.

“You don’t know what?”

“I don’t know what to do, what to say. I just…I can’t lose her. She was my whole life, Aaron. She’s all I had for years, she was my reason for being. I can’t lose her!” He shouts dropping to his knees as he lets it all out. Tears run freely from his face as sobs into his hands.

Aaron drops to his knees and pulls Robert into his arms. “It’s okay, Robert. You can let it out. You’re not alone. Just let it out.”

He had been holding Robert as he cried for close to an hour when he felt the buzzing in his pocket before his phone began ringing. Robert was his main concern and he wanted nothing more than to ignore it, but he had to check in case it had been Victoria or Liv with an emergency.  He pulled out his phone and answered the call.

“Hi. Yes. This is he.” He answered nodding his head as if the person on the other side could see him. “You what? What? Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. We’re on our way back.” 

Robert looks up at Aaron and through sniffles he asks, “who was it?”

“That was the hospital.” He says with a smile on his face. “There was some sort of mix up at the labs, the results they gave me were someone else’s. Robert, I’m a match!” Aaron shouts as tears run down his face.

“I’m a match!”

 

 

 


	10. No More Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's been told that he's a match for Arya and everything is underway for her treatment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the crazy delay on this one. Kind of went through a drought there and I just couldn't get this one going properly. It's finally here though, but you all might hate me...well more like you all WILL hate me.
> 
> Please feel free to leave feedback and let me know what you think.

**CHAPTER 10**  

* * *

There's a warmth in the comfort he's receiving, a sense of calm in the embrace that holds him, it's been nearly an hour since he broke down and Aaron took him into his arms. He'd been so lost in despair, so lost in his own tears that Robert didn't even notice Aaron's phone ring. It wasn't until he felt Aaron's movements as he answered the call that he lifted his head and through sniffles asked him who it was. His stomach dropped just asking the question as he expects it to be more bad news. After all, that's all he deserves, all he'll continue to get because of the things he's done in the past. He's a different man now, or at least it's what he tells himself, but nothing could possibly make up for the wrongs he's made. Could it? He thinks to himself, hoping they could.   
  
As Aaron listens to the person on the other side of the call, Robert can see a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, a smile that gradually widens and can't help but feel a breadth of hope.  
  
“That was the hospital. There was some sort of mix up at the labs, the results they gave me were someone else’s. Robert, I’m a match!” Aaron's shouting as tears run freely down his face. “I’m a match!” He repeats as he throws himself unto Robert sending them fully tumbling to the ground.   
  
Robert lands on his back in a thud with Aaron on top of him. "Fuck," he lets out in a grunt as his head hits the floor.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Robert." He laughs out before diving in and kissing him gently for a second. As he pulls back he looks Robert in the eyes and smiles before going back, peppering kisses on his lips, cheeks, and forehead. "I'm a match. I'm a match. I'm a fucking match." He repeats gleefully between kisses before resting his forehead to Robert's, their eyes trained on each other with such intensity it has them both breathless.  
  
Robert closes the small gap between them, taking Aaron's lips with his, his tongue parting them as his hand comes up to rest on Aaron's neck, his thumb brushing at the stubble along his jaw while his fingers thread through the curls at the nape of Aaron’s neck. Robert moans into the kiss as he feels Aaron's full weight pressing into him.   
  
"God...I want you so bad." Robert lets out between breaths. Some heaviness finally being lifted off them, he finally feels like he can actually breath, like he can let go of everything he's been holding onto for days. He finally feels like he can let himself feel something.  
  
Aaron quickly sits up pulling his shirt over his head and throws it across the room as he looks back down at Robert with a knowing grin. He takes a hold of Robert's hands and places them on his chest. Fuck if he didn't have a fetish for Robert's hands. He gently runs his thumbs across the back of them before releasing them to let Robert run them across his chest and stomach. His fingers tracing every dip and curve of Aaron's muscled body, he takes his time and pays extra attention to his favorite spots making Aaron squirm under his touch. It doesn't last too long as Robert's lips are on him, unable to keep them off him any longer. His lips trace kisses across Aaron’s chest, he takes his time, almost lingers on every scar. Robert’s nearly humming as he feels Aaron’s fingers threading through his hair and is caught off guard when Aaron pulls him back by it and takes his lips. The kiss is hard and deep, Aaron’s tongue has him unravelling as it explores his mouth. He can feel the rush of blood to his face, to his entire body really, and he can feel the warmth on Aaron’s skin. The kiss breaks only so they can catch their breath and Robert quickly leans back in, placing kisses to Aaron’s neck. He can feel the goosebumps on Aaron’s skin as he licks and gently teases with his teeth, that spot that drives him mad. Robert nearly cries when he feels Aaron pull back and pouts when Aaron lifts himself off him.  
  
“Your shirt. Take it off.” Aaron says, between breaths as his hands make quick work of his own belt.  
  
Robert does as he’s told, and he does his best to keep his gaze on Aaron, on the beauty that stands before him. Every time he sees him is like a first time for him. It’s something he could never tire of, something he still can’t believe he has the privilege of. He’s gasping as Aaron quickly pulls his trousers down revealing the erection that had been straining in them, and just as quickly as Aaron had stood up, Robert is up on his knees in front of him. He’s looking up directly into Aaron’s eyes as his hand takes a hold of his hard cock and gently squeezes, he watches carefully as Aaron closes his eyes and moans at the pressure. He watches as Aaron’s mouth hangs open, gasping at his touch, gasping as he begins to slowly stroke him. He can’t help his own tongue gliding across his lips as he looks back down at Aaron’s hard cock in his hand, can’t help but feel his mouth water for it.   
  
A loud gasp fills the air as Aaron feels the heat of Robert's mouth enveloping him and his head instinctively throws back the moment he feels himself hit the back of his throat. "Fuuuuuuuuck." He moans out, a deep guttural sound that only makes Robert go deeper. Reaching down, he threads his fingers through Robert's hair and begins to move his head for him. Not that Robert doesn't know what he's doing because fuck, does he fucking know what he's doing, but because he wants control. He wants to please Robert, wants to make him feel good, wants to make him forget all the bad, and he knows how much Robert loves it when he takes charge.  
  
"That's it, fuck my face." Robert says as he pulls back for a moment.  
  
Without hesitation Aaron begins to thrust into his mouth, holding him by his hair, his fingers bunched into it. Everything is going too fast, he's playing with fire and he knows it. It's been too long, and he knows he’s not going to last longer. He can feel the heat building in his stomach, can feel his breathing getting heavy, and simply looking back down into Roberts eyes sends him over the edge. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck...I'm going to come." He says between breaths, as he feels his body begin to tense. "Don't swallow it." He manages to say before he feels his orgasm hit.  
  
Robert moans as he feels the heat of Aaron's load shoot into his mouth and despite what Aaron had asked, he can't help but swallow some. He's looking up at him with a grin on his face when Aaron's hand reaches down to his mouth, his thumb rubbing across Robert's bottom lip before he flips it palm up. "Spit it out." Aaron commands, his voice rolling like thunder.  
  
Robert's looking into his eyes when he spits out the white velvety liquid into his palm. The sight alone making his softening cock spring back to life, Aaron lets out a gasp before quickly straddling Robert. Aaron grins at the feel of Robert between his legs, his own knees on either side of Robert's hips, his grin only widens when he feels Robert's cock straining against his arse cheeks. "How bad do you want me?" The question comes out so smooth yet so gravelly at the same time. The sound of it sending chills down Robert's spine.  
  
"I want you so fucking bad." Robert replies in that soft voice he reserves only for Aaron. The soft voice that literally melts him at the sound. "I need you." Desperation laces his every word.  
  
A desperation that's also reflected in Aaron's movements, in his actions. He raises himself enough, so he can snake his hand between their pressing bodies and under himself, grabbing a hold of Robert's throbbing cock he uses his own cum to slick it up. His hand motions up and down, stroking at Robert before he brings it to his own hole and moistens it, pressing two fingers into it he lets out a moan knowing how it will affect Robert.  
  
"Oh fuck." Robert gasps out. "Did you just..." He's trying to ask when he feels the tightness of Aaron's hole pressing around his cock as he lowers onto Robert.  
  
"Fuuuuuck." They both let out simultaneously throwing their heads back in pleasure. The last bit of worry leaving Robert's body for the moment as he's consumed by his desire for Aaron. Every emotion he’d been holding on to for so long finally able to break free, it's almost too much, he knows he won’t last long now. He buries his face in Aaron's heaving chest as he wraps his arms around him, his hands nearly bunching at the skin of his back as he slightly thrusts up into Aaron who's slamming back down onto him.  
  
"I love you." He hears Aaron speak into his ear moments before he feels the heat building up in his core.  
  
"I love you more." Robert returns as he picks up pace in his thrusting. "I’m going to come. Oh fuck. Aaron." He says between breaths before letting out a string of obscenities. Completely spent he drops again to his back taking Aaron with him. "You have no idea how much I missed ya, how much I missed this, us." He's speaking so softly he's not sure if Aaron could even hear, but he couldn't help himself, the words slipped out.  
  
Aaron pushes himself up onto his elbows looking longingly into Robert's eyes and gently wipes away the tears he hadn't realized were there. "I...I just don't think I could have done this without ya."  
  
"Except you could have, Robert. You're the strongest person I know, but you don't have to. I promise you. It's you and me for good. You, me, and Arya."  
  
____  
   
  
Robert can’t help the smile that spreads across his face at the sight before him. His eyes filled with what could only be described as pure unadulterated love. He’s set on a chair along the wall having coffee and a supposed conversation with Chas, but he’s far too caught up gazing across from them, gazing at his little family. Aaron is sat in the center of the bed with Arya between his legs, she’s watching cartoons on the telly leaning forward as Aaron plaits her hair. He’s taking his time, brushing her hair smooth before he starts making the intricate plaits along the sides of her head to connect at the center of the back, the style looking almost like a crown. Aaron Dingle. Aaron fucking Dingle, plaiting his little girl’s hair.  
  
“Earth to Robert.” Chas says softly with a smile all her own, a smile that grew on her face as she followed his line of sight.   
  
“Oh, uhm…” He says, pulled from his thoughts. “What were you saying?”  
  
Chas takes a hold of his hand still smiling. “He really is something isn’t he?” She says looking back towards Aaron. “Never thought I’d live to see the day. Aaron plaiting someone’s hair.” A soft laugh leaves her mouth. “He’s had such a rough life, but you, Robert…you changed everything. There’s so much life in him now and he smiles in ways I never thought he could. I know you and I didn’t start off on the right foot, I know I made things hard for you, and you for me.” She lets out a chuckle. “But, thank you. Thank you for loving my boy the way you do. Thank you for making him happy.”  
  
A small laugh escapes Robert’s mouth as he looks back at Chas. “There’s no need for thanks, Chas. I love him. If anyone changed anything it was him. From the moment I met him, he changed everything. He made me want to be a better man, he made me want to try harder. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be here today.”   
  
A soft knock at the door grabs their attention and as it slowly opens, Connor sticks his head in. “Hiya.”  
  
“Uncle Connor!” Arya chirps from her bed.  
  
“I was on my way to see my favorite little munchkin when I found the most perfect gift.” He says grinning widely straight at Arya. “You wanna know what it is?” He shouts, unsure if she’d be able to hear him from all the way across the room. His hands are occupied so he can’t reach them in past the door to sign to her. Arya nods in response letting him know she heard loud and clear. His smile somehow manages to widen even more so as he pushes the door open and carries in a stuffed monkey at least twice the size of Arya.  
  
“You mental?” Aaron laughs out.   
  
“Nothing but the best for that little monkey.” Connor says walking into the room, carrying the monkey over to Arya’s bedside. “Besides, your flat’s big enough anyway.” He says as he turns to Robert and Chas giving them a more serious look. “Also, I think the Doctor wants a word with you guys.” He lets out nodding towards the door where Doctor Madden had been standing.   
  
They had all been caught up in Connor’s gift to Arya that they didn’t notice Doctor Madden walk in shortly after him.   
  
“I’ll stay with her if you like.” Connor directs to Aaron.  
  
Aaron nods in response and quickly leans his head down pressing a kiss to the top of Arya’s head. “We’ll be right back, okay. We just need to talk to your Doctor.”  
  
She nods in return, before standing and hugging Connor. Against all odds, regardless of how fatigued she may be, she still has the same happy attitude she always has. It’s no wonder she leaves everyone in awe of her. “You like my hair?” She asks Connor. “Daddy Aaron did it.”  
  
“Wow, maybe he can do mine next.” He jokes looking at Aaron.   
  
“Shut up.” Aaron quickly returns smiling back at Connor even though a tiny part of him just wants to deck him.   
  
He couldn’t help it, how could he? The thought of anyone else having had Robert, his Robert, makes his blood boil. He nearly decked him the night that he so casually dropped the fact that they had slept together just a few years back. Aaron remembers the wide-eyed look on Robert’s face, the look of a deer caught in headlights. They’d been out at a bar having drinks with Connor and his new conquest who made the mistake of asking Connor if he’d bedded either Robert or Aaron. “It’s been what 4-5 years, no?” He so casually asked, looking at Robert, almost as if trying to impress this new guy, then again it was Connor. Of course, he was trying to impress the guy.  
  
Aaron had known that he and Robert had a past. Robert had told him everything, they were done with lying, done with secrets, they knew everything there was to know about each other, everything but this new piece of information.   
  
There was something so arrogant about the way Connor so casually dropped it though that had Aaron seeing red, had him ready to swing. Lucky for Connor, Robert had caught on to Aaron, could tell exactly what was going through his mind and he stopped him. Robert had placed his hand over Aaron’s giving him an apologetic look before turning to Connor. “You’re such a dick.” He told him before pulling Aaron aside to explain himself.   
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Aaron nearly sneered at him through gritted teeth.   
  
“Aaron, I’m so sorry…I just…I just.” He says before letting out loud breath. “I just wanted to forget it, wanted to forget it ever happened. It wasn’t me trying to hide it from you, I promise.”  
  
“That’s not a real answer, Rob.”  
  
“No, it’s just. Fuck!” He said wiping a hand down his face. “It was a year after that Christmas. I wasn’t doing particularly well then, Aaron. I was a mess, it hit me really hard. Connor had stopped by to keep me company cos he knew it was going to be hard on me. I was depressed as shit and he was there, I just wanted to pain to go away, I wanted to feel something else if even for a second. I panicked the morning after, trust me when I say I regretted it. I just wanted to forget it ever happened. I put it away with every other memory of those shit Christmases.” He told him looking to the ground before feeling Aaron’s hand on his cheek.  
  
“I’m sorry if I got carried away. I know…I know how hard those were for you and I trust you. If you say it was nothing, then it was nothing.” He said before placing a soft kiss to Robert’s lips. “I’ll tell you what, he’s lucky he saved your life. It’s the only reason I’m not going to deck him.”  
  
Aaron chuckles thinking back to that night before he brings himself out of his thoughts. Back to hospital room where Arya’s Doctor waits for them. “We’ll be back, yeah?” He tells Connor.   
  
Connor nods in return, taking Aaron’s place on the bed to keep Arya company as Aaron, Robert, and Chas all walk out of the room, following Doctor Madden to his office.  
   
  
____  
  
  
It had been four days since Aaron got the call to inform him that he had been a match after all, that his first results had been a mix up in the labs, but due to the mix up Doctor Madden had insisted on testing him again just to make sure. Initially in frustration, Aaron had protested, nearly demanded they start the next step, but Nurse Hannah had talked him down. She explained that they needed the time for Arya to finish her radiation treatment to ensure her bone marrow had been cleaned out properly, having Aaron get tested again could be rushed in the interim. The results had to be the reason for Doctor Madden’s visit, for his request to speak to them in his office. Robert had taken a hold of Aaron’s hand, lacing his fingers through Aaron’s as they walked with Chas holding onto Aaron’s elbow on his other side. The halls were nearly a standstill, so quite one could hear the ticks of the clocks hanging on the hospital walls, so silent it only gave their frazzled minds the chance to freak. This must be bad news, it has to, why pull us into his office. Is all that ran through Robert’s mind. The pit in his stomach only getting stronger, making him feel like he was about to be sick.  
  
The moment Doctor Madden closed the door to his office behind them, Robert immediately broke the silence that had plagued them from the moment the left Arya’s room. “So, what is it now? Aaron’s not a match after all, is he?” He asked, defeat evident in his voice. Just when he had let himself feel hope, when let himself feel like things might be okay after all, things must come crashing down.   
  
Doctor Madden looks at him with a hopeful smile, he knows all too well how common Robert’s reaction is. “Quite the contrary actually.” He starts as his smile widens before looking between Robert and Aaron. “Aaron, you are a perfect match. I only brought you back here, so we can discuss what happens next.” He says before asking them to take a seat. Robert, Aaron, and Chas all take a seat on the sofa in front of Doctor Madden’s desk. Aaron in the center with Robert to his left and Chas his right, both holding on to his hands.  
  
Turning his attention now directly to Aaron, Doctor Madden continues to inform him that there is only minor surgery involved in the bone marrow harvest. He lets him know that depending on how he takes to the anesthesia it could be an outpatient procedure. “The bone marrow will be harvested from the back of both your hip bones, you will however be under general anesthesia and asleep, so you won’t feel a thing during. There will be some soreness after, some discomfort, but if needed we can give you a prescription for any pain you may feel.”  
  
Aaron continues to nod as everything is explained to him, unaware that there’s a hopeful smile on his face. A smile that Robert has noticed. Almost as if thanking him, Robert gently squeezes Aaron’s hand before turning his attention back to Doctor Madden. “And then what? What’s next after that?”   
  
“After that, the stem cells from the harvest are delivered through the bloodstream via a central venous catheter. Think of it just like a blood transfusion. The stem cells will travel through the blood and into the bone marrow.”  
  
“Then what?” Both Robert and Aaron ask simultaneously.  
  
“If everything goes smoothly, that’s it. After that we just wait and let her recuperate. We’ll have to keep her for a couple days after to monitor and make sure everything’s alright plus we’ll have to keep a close eye on her and you will have to do the same once you take her home. Her immune system will be suppressed for a short time after, so it will be imperative that you keep a close watch on her and keep her healthy. Any infection could become a much bigger problem than it should be if you're not careful.”  
  
"We will do." Aaron answers.  
  
Feeling a tight squeeze to his hand Aaron hears the laudable breath that Robert lets go. He quickly turns and leans over placing a kiss to his cheek. "She's going to be fine." He says just under his breath, every word a puff of comfort to Robert's skin, to his heart.  
  
Robert turns to look him in the eyes, nothing but admiration and gratitude in them. "Thanks to you, Aaron." Robert smiles at him, leaning his forehead to Aaron, finally able to let go, finally able to see that everything was going to be alright.  
  
____  
  
  
"Stop staring." Aaron let out as a flush of red spread across his face. He'd been busy changing into a hospital gown, he almost didn't feel Robert's gaze upon him. It wasn't until he'd bent over to pull his trousers off and he heard Robert clear his throat that he'd realized he'd been staring the whole time. "Why don't you take a picture?" He teased, making Robert quickly turn away as if he had not been watching, as if he had not been staring with a grin on his face just thinking about all the filthy things he'd do to Aaron if they had the time.  
  
There was no use in pretending though, not with Aaron. Not when Aaron could read him like a book, plus there’s no use in hiding how much he wants him. Robert stood from the chair he had been sitting in near the door to Aaron’s room and walked over to him placing his hands on either side of his face. "I...I can't thank you enough, Aaron" He said as his voice slightly broke with sincerity.  
  
"For what?" Aaron asked in confusion  
  
"For this, for everything. You gave my life meaning, you saved me from myself, and now..." He swallows past the lump in his throat. "And now you're saving my little girl's life, our little girl's life. You've given me more than I will ever deserve."  
  
"Don't be daft...you idiot. You've given me more than you'll ever understand, and I'd do anything for you, anything for our little girl. She's mine, you hear that and after this I want to make it official. I want to adopt her. I don't ever want to go through anything like I did back at her camp ever again. I don't want someone telling me I can't see my little girl cos I'm not legally her dad. I want us to be a proper family, Robert. We wasted so much time and if I've learned anything from all this, it's that it can all be taken at any moment. So, no more waiting." He says leaning in and placing his forehead to Robert's. "As soon as she’s better we're getting married, you and me...for good, and I'm taking your name."  
  
"You serious?"  
  
"I want to hear you call me Mr. Sugden when I get home from work. I want to look like a pair of right idiots when someone says Mr. Sugden and we both answer." He laughs softly. "It's what you do to me, Robert. You make me want things I never knew I wanted."  
  
"Nothing would make me happier, Mr. Sugden." He says as he leans placing his lips to Aaron's. "You know, your legs look really good in that gown, think we have enough time for a quickie?"  
  
"Shut up." Aaron lets out between chuckles. "God, you're so cocky."  
  
"Cocky where it counts." Robert says before winking at Aaron. He moves his hands down to Aaron's hips and pulls him even closer to him, their bodies flushed and foreheads still touching. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with ya."  
  
A knock at the door pulls them from their moment before a Nurse pops his head in. "Mr. Dingle." He greets them as he walks in. "We are ready for you."  
  
"Yeah, okay." He replies, there's no fear, no worry, no doubt, in his eyes. All Robert can see in them is hope and determination. Aaron is doing this for their little girl and he couldn't be any more prepared for it.  
  
"You can go ahead and lay on the bed and we will wheel you over to the O.R."  
  
Aaron nods and lays down on the bed before Robert takes his hand and bends down to place a kiss to his lips. "You hurry up and come back me Mr. Sugden." Robert says with a smile.  
  
____  
  
  
"They're going to be fine, so chill out." Liv nervously chuckled, nodding to Robert's bouncing leg.  
  
"Oh soz." He replied with soft smile, before yawning. It had been 40 minutes since Aaron had been taken by the nurses and 10 minutes since they took Arya for prep, yet it felt like a lifetime. "Can't help it though, can I? I just can't stop thinking about them." Robert says leaning his head back looking up into the ceiling.  
  
Liv can't help but feel it all pull at her heart strings. "You know, I never really told you just how much I missed you." She said, trying to take his mind off worrying.  
  
"Yeah you did. When you guys came up for Christmas." He replies looking at her like she's lost it.  
  
"I know that, you idiot." She starts as she shakes her head. "But, I mean I didn't really tell you just how much. I know we obviously got off on the wrong foot, but I loved you like a brother and it killed me when I found out you left. It really hurt that you left without as much a good bye." She tells him feeling the tears burning at the back of her eyes, just talking about it sends her back to then. She remembers the disappointment most of all. Yeah, she hated him, but deep down she didn't. Deep down she knew that Robert would keep fighting, knew that he wouldn't give up until he won Aaron back. Deep down she hoped for it more than anything, and then he was just gone with no word. That's what hurt her the most. Not the way he yelled at her, not the way she felt embarrassed in front of Rebecca, but the fact that he could leave like that, that's hurt the most. That's what made her hold on to that anger until she was old enough to better understand why Robert did what he did and why he had to do it.  
  
"I... I'm sorry, Liv." He says looking straight into her eyes, giving her his full attention. "Leaving the way I did was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was so lost and I…I had to leave. Watching Aaron move on was so hard for me and if I'd told him, told you, that I was leaving...I knew I wouldn't have had the strength to do it. So I ran, I ran like the coward I am, but I missed ya. You're like a sister to me Liv, you always have been and losing you broke my heart just as much."  
  
"You're not a coward now and you weren't one then either. I know I was so mad at you, but I was just a stupid kid back then. I get now, I get everything you went through, and you did what you had to. No one blames you for it and no one thinks you're a coward for it either. I know you Robert, you're my brother and you're strong. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for." She says getting up and walking over to him and leaning down to wrap her arms around him, squeezing him into a hug. "I really am happy that you're back where you belong, with Aaron...and me. We're a family, don't you ever forget that."  
  
"Never."  
  
"Good." She says as she sits next to him and rests her head on his shoulder before letting out a yawn of her own. The room returns to the peaceful quiet that had filled it minutes before.  
  
It's another 20 minutes until a soft voice fills his head. "Aw, how sweet." Chas teases as she walks into the room holding a cup of coffee. "What did I miss?"  
  
Liv is opening her mouth to say something when a knock on the door grabs their attention. As Doctor Madden walks in Robert is quickly on his feet. "Finally." He says letting out a breath only seconds before noticing the look on his face. He hadn't seen this look on him before, he'd always had an optimistic look about him, this isn't it. This is something bad. "Something's happened, hasn't it? What's wrong? Is she okay?"  
  
"Arya is fine, she's receiving the transfusion as we speak." Doctor Madden responds.  
  
Robert can't help but let go of a breath he hadn't realized he was holding on to. "So, everything is fine then?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but it's not Arya. It's Aaron." He starts before pausing briefly. "I'm sorry." He says shaking his head. "We're not quite sure what hap..."  
  
He feels his knees give in and he nearly drops to the floor. Everything suddenly feeling too unreal, feeling like it's spinning. He can see Doctor Madden still speaking, still trying to explain what went horribly wrong with something so simple, but it feels like everything is muffled, like it's being drowned out by something he can't even recognize.

"He's gone." Is the last muffled thing Robert hears before looking up towards Chas.

Chas has her hands over her mouth and tears are running down her face as the coffee she had just been holding onto is now splashed all over the floor.  
  
He can feel Liv's hand gently grabbing onto his shoulder, can feel it nudging him, hears her calling out his name.   
  
"Robert, Robert, Robert."  
  
He knew this was coming, he knew he couldn't have it all. He's never deserved to be truly happy. This was simply life correcting itself.  
  
"Robert."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to follow me on Twitter @fotografyraptor, I tend to talk nothing but robron and regularly post sneak peaks of upcoming chapters. Speaking of, sneak peak of Chapter 11 will be up very soon.


	11. Not Bad For A Sugden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya has received her transplant and things return to normal. Whatever normal is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that last chapter had a tough ending, I hate that it had to go that way but the story called for it. Hope this one makes up. It's a tiny bit shorter that the usual but I wanted to get this out to you guys quick cos I hated leaving you guys hanging that way after the last one, and don't worry, after that last chapter there is no cliffhanger ending here.
> 
> Still needs edits, I'll try and get those down soon. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave feedback as usual.

 

**CHAPTER 11**

* * *

 

 

 

Robert is still in a daze, still can't believe what's happened, what he's lost. "No, no, no, no, no." Is all that comes from his mouth, the word quietly slipping from his soft lips repeatedly. “This can’t be happening.”  
  
"ROBERT!" Liv's voice finally breaks through to him as his eyes begin to flutter open. "ROBERT!" She shouts again as her hand nudges harder at his shoulder.  
  
"Wake up, you div." She chastises him with a grin on her face as she rubs at her own eyes pretending she herself hadn't been sleeping on his shoulder just moments ago. She's looking almost as tired as he feels.  
  
"Doctor Madden's here, luv. He has an update." Chas lets them both know as she walks into the room with Doctor Madden.  
  
"What?" He lets out still in a daze. "AARON! Aaron, is he okay?" He asks frantically.  
  
"Yes, Aaron's doing great. Everything went perfect. He should be probably waking any minute now." Doctor Madden informs them.  
  
Robert let's go of breath he'd been holding on to as he clenches his fist to his chest. "It wasn't real." He says under his breath realizing he'd been dreaming. Exhaustion must have finally caught up to him. It's been days since he's gotten any real sleep. They’d been spending most of their time there in the hospital with Arya and barely making trips home. Sleeping had taken a backseat to Arya’s heath. To her happiness. It was more important for them to be there keeping her in good spirits than for them to have some rest. Rest would eventually come, once she was fine, then they could rest. "What about Arya?" He asks.  
  
"She's doing great as well, everything went perfect. You can go in for a visit shortly."  
  
"Yeah, okay. Thanks." Robert manages to thank Doctor Madden before he nods and steps out to give them some privacy.  
  
Taking a deep breath to let that nightmare fade away, to push it away and never remember, he finally turns to Liv and Chas. Fighting back the tears that burn at the back of his eyes. He bites at his lower lip to help keep them at bay, he's not quite used to feeling so vulnerable in front of others. Aaron's the only other person he's ever felt fully safe with, the only other person that's ever made him feel like he didn't have to hide, and right now he needs him. He needs to see that he's okay, needs to feel him in his arms.  
  
"Can you...can you guys please check on Arya for me. Let her know I'll be there to see her very soon."  
  
"Where ar..." Chas is trying to ask before Robert quickly answers.  
  
"I need to see Aaron."  
  
____  
  
  
Robert steels himself as he stands outside the room. The words still running through his head, words that will haunt him for the rest of his life. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. They keep repeating.  
  
"Take your time." The Nurse tells him before she walks off.  
  
Taking a deep breath he pushes past the door keeping his eyes to the floor, too afraid to look up, too concerned with trying to push the words out of his head. His steps slow down and he comes to a stop as he reaches the bed, he finally looks up to see him and all he can think of is how peaceful he looks. Without warning the tears begin to run down his cheeks as he reaches out brushing the back of his fingers across his cheek.  
  
Something about his stillness makes the words come back. He's gone. It repeats in his head and he's nearly to his knees as the give.  
  
"I love you. I love you so much." He sobs. "You've given me so much...so much that I could never thank you enough for. Now, now you've given me my little girl back." He says as he leans down placing a soft kiss to his lips before resting his forehead to Aaron's. "I love you so fucking much."  
  
"Soft lad." Aaron lets out, so low Robert nearly missed it. His eyes just fluttering open as the corner of his lips curl up.  
  
"Shut up." Robert shoots back as he wraps his arms around him ignoring the slight groan Aaron lets out. Aaron tries to playfully wiggle out of the embrace, but it only makes Robert pull him ever closer to him. "How much of that did you hear?" Robert asks as he pulls back to look him in the eyes, noticing the blush of red that creeps up Aaron's cheeks.  
  
"Everything." He answers with a smile. "Robert, you don't have to thank me for anything. Everything I've done for you I've done cos I know you'd do the same for me. I've done it cos I love you, cos I'll do anything to see you happy." Cupping Robert's face between his palms he leans in and places a kiss to his lips. "Now, what's brought this up? Is something wrong?"  
  
Robert shakes his head, too afraid to talk about his dream, his nightmare, too afraid to relive it. "It's nothing."  
  
"Don't give me that." Aaron grumbles in return. "I know you better than that. Now tell me."  
  
"I...I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Robert."   
  
He does his best to hide it, does his best to bottle it up, does his best to bring out a bit of the old Robert. The Robert that could so easily lie. “I just missed ya is all. Had to make sure you were okay.” He feels his stomach turn immediately after.  
  
"How's Arya?" Aaron asks softly. "I want to see her."  
  
"Haven’t seen her yet, but Chas and Liv are with her, had to see you first, didn't I?"  
  
Placing a hand to Robert's cheek Aaron reminds him that it wasn't real, that it was only a bad dream. Robert melts into his touch, the warmth of the contact making him feel every bit of love Aaron is conveying in his eyes.  
  
"Let me get the Nurse, see if they'll take you down to Arya's room."  
  
"You off your head? I'm not waiting around for them to figure this out. I'm good, just help me get changed and we'll go." He demands.  
  
"But." Robert tries to protest, worried about Aarons condition, worried about him hurting himself. Aaron on other hand is having none of it, he simply glares back at Robert, the look being all the telling Robert needed.  
  
"Yeah...okay, let's get you into your clothes." He replies shaking his head at Aaron's stubbornness. "Is this what you're going to be like when your 80 and I'm trying to keep you from hurting yourself." Robert jokes.  
  
"Shut up." Aaron responds, can't help but laugh as he pictures it in his head. The two of them growing old together. Something that was so far from anything he thought he'd ever want, now something he can't wait have.   
  
____  
  
  
There's a heavy rainfall that seems relentless. It clearly has no intention of stopping anytime soon and the sky is dark in shades of blue, it all seems very somber. Even nature weeps for the loss, weeps for his loss. Robert stands in a black suit as he holds Arya in his arms, she wears a black dress and her hair is in plaits. The plaits are not as neat, not as perfect as they should be, not the way he used to do them, not the way Aaron did them. The thought alone nearly sends him tumbling to the ground, had Arya not squeezed into him in her own sobs as she cried for her daddy Aaron, he may have.  
  
The Vicar is ending his words, words that Robert couldn't even hear, everything drowned out to him. Not that it mattered, his heart had been taken from him and it was now being lowered into the ground where it would rest in peace. Losing him once was enough, losing him for good is something he knows he'll never recover from. The only reason he stands is holding onto him begging for his comfort and it's the only reason he hasn't crumbled. As the casket goes lower and out of his sight he feels his breath leaving him, feels it stay gone, and he starts gasping for air, air that won't enter his lungs.  
  
"Aaron!" He shouts as he gasps clutching his fist to his chest finding it hard to breath as he wakes in a cold sweat.  
  
"What's happened, Robert?" Aaron asks as he sits up beside Robert gently rubbing at his back. He can feel the cold sweat on his bare back, can feel the heavy breathing. "Robert?" He tries again in a gentle voice.  
  
Still slightly stuck between sleep and an awaken state, Robert nearly flinches at the touch as he fully comes too. He shakes his head realizing he had just been having a nightmare...again. That’s the third time in two weeks, the third since the first one he had back at the hospital. He chastises himself for waking Aaron this time, the last thing he wants is for Aaron to find out what's going on. The last thing he wants is to talk about it. He takes a deep breath before looking over his shoulder to Aaron and letting him know that everything is fine.  
  
"Don't, Robert."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't lie to me, please. We promised we weren't doing that. Something's wrong, I know it." He says before taking a deep breath and wiping a hand across his face. "This is the third one in two weeks, Robert."  
  
Robert sighs as his head and shoulders drop. "Thought I didn't wake you."  
  
"Look I could tell something was bugging you, but I didn't want to push ya. Thought I'd wait until you were ready but looks like it's getting worse. You need to talk about it, Robert."  
  
Letting out a sigh, he relents. He knows he can't say no to Aaron, knows that they promised to be open about everything, no more hiding things. He tells Aaron about his dream, about his nightmare more like it. He starts by telling Aaron about the first dream, the one he had when he fell asleep waiting with Liv. He also tells him about the other three he has had in the past two weeks since. He tells him how each one broke his heart more than the last, how he's not sure he can handle it any more. He takes a deep breath as he feels his heart start beating faster. It's all coming back and all he wants to do is forget it, he wants nothing more than for the nightmares to go away. Aaron listens placing kisses to his forehead as he cradles him to his chest. Robert breaks into tears reliving them all, wishing them to go away.  
  
"Robert." Aaron's soft voice calls to him as he feels Aaron's lips on top of his head.  
  
"I thought I'd lost you." Robert says, tears still prickling at his eyes.   
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Aaron asks, his chin resting on Robert's head, he breaths him in and gently squeezes him closer to him.  
  
"I, I don't know. I just...I felt like if I talked about them they'd feel all the more real, you know? I just wanted to forget them. I can't lose you, Aaron. I wouldn't survive it."  
  
"You can't bottle it like that, Robert. It's no good for you, trust me I know." He tells him before scooting back a bit, just enough to turn Robert to face him. He cusps Robert's face between his hands and looks him directly in his eyes. "You won't ever lose me, you hear that. Never again. I'm here for good. We'll be having a row when I'm 80 and you're trying to keep me from hurting myself, remember?" He says with a soft smile on his face.  
  
Robert reflects the smile back at Aaron’s gazing into his eyes and as he sees the love in them it makes his heart skip a beat, makes his breath hitch, it makes the butterflies come alive. Just hearing him say those words as simple as they may be, means everything to him. Makes him feel like maybe things will be alright after all. Like maybe he does deserve to be happy. He's not sure what he's done to deserve it, but he's not going to fight it. Not anymore. Not when everything was looking up, when everything was going their way. It had been 2 weeks since Arya's bone marrow transplant and everything was finally back on track. They'd had one minor scare, but they were prepared. They were well aware that her immune system would be suppressed for a while due to the transplant, and at the first signs of a cold they had been to the emergency room. Letting them know that there was nothing wrong with Arya, Doctor Madden had praised them for doing so well with her care. Even if they had over reacted to a simple sneeze, it was better to be safe than sorry until her immune system was back to normal.

With Arya on his mind Robert settles back into Aaron’s chest, the gentle sound of his heart beat along with the rise and fall of his chest as he breaths only serving to sooth him. Letting out a yawn he mumbles. “I love you.” Just before drifting back to sleep. 

Arya is better. Aaron is happy. He is happy. This was meant to be. Just like that the nightmares are gone.

 

____

  

It’s the chirping he hears at first, the soft high-pitched chirps of birds fluttering about just outside the window before he hears her. Before he hears her laughter, her soft giggles filling the air. As his eyes flutter open he feels the emptiness besides him, notices the missing warmth of a body next to his. Looking over he notices Aaron’s gone and he groans at the fact. He groans a low drawn out groan until he hears him, until he hears Aaron’s laughter joining Arya’s. The laughter is coming from downstairs, away from him is all the motivation he needs to get up. With a smile spread across his face as he listens to the joyous laughter coming from below he stumbles out of bed looking for clothes. It’s become a habit to sleep in the nude, it’s something both he and Aaron have been doing a lot more of. He puts on a pair of running shorts and throws a t-shirt on over his head before running his hand through his hair trying to tame it. He’s still trying to get used to the new style, he’s been keep short on the sides similar to Aaron’s typical cut, and log at the top. Aaron loves it. Loves running his fingers through it. Loves holding on to it, pulling it, when they fool around. The thought alone sends shivers down his spine and sends blood rushing down, but he stops himself. Now is not the time.

As he reaches the bottom of the stairs he sees Aaron running around the living room with Arya on his shoulder, both laughing without a care in the world only stopping when they both spot him looking. They both look over to him with beaming smiles on their faces. “Daddy!” Arya shouts just before Aaron makes his way over to him.

“Sorry, did we wake you?” Aaron asks as he leans in and places a chaste kiss to Robert’s lips, much to Arya’s amusement as she giggles.

“More like, why didn’t you wake me? You know I don’t like waking up alone in bed.” Robert pouts back.

“You looked so peaceful…besides we were making you breakfast.” He says as he places another kiss to his lips. “Speaking of.” He quickly turns heading for the kitchen to check on the bacon and toast.

“What’s the occasion?”

“What, I need an occasion to want to make breakfast for me husband?” 

A smile spreads across Robert’s face hearing him say those words, however incorrect they may technically be. “No…no need for an occasion.”

“To be fair though, I did think we could maybe look at some venues…for the wedding?” Aaron says with a flush of red on his cheeks.

Taking Arya off his shoulders and placing her on her feet, Robert wraps his arms around Aaron from behind him and rests his run on his shoulder. “Can’t wait to officially be Mr. Sugden, huh?”

Aaron scoffs and shakes his head with a grin on his face. “You are so smug, you know that?” He lets out. “Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m marrying you.”

“You are such a wind up, you know that?” Robert chuckles before placing a kiss to Aaron’s neck. “Of course, we can start looking. The sooner the better.” 

They joke about it, but they both know they both want it. Everything is right, everything has fallen into place. They had wasted so much time being apart, so much time being torn apart, that Robert agreed with Aaron. He agreed that as soon as Arya was better they’d get married and they’d do it proper this time, and now Arya was better. It had been close to two months now and she had been given a clear bill of health from Doctor Madden. Everything had gone according to plan and both Robert and Aaron had done their best to keep her healthy as her immune system recovered. Arya was back to normal, bursting with energy and playful as always, even more so now that she was allowed to play with other kids. She had not been a fan of being home-bound while her immune system recovered, and it killed them to see her so unhappy, but they couldn’t risk her getting sick. They couldn’t risk having a setback. As the both look down to see her looking up at them as she hugs into both their legs, they smile and know they made all the right choices. Getting married soon would just be another one. 

Some of what is being said is too low for her to hear and some is a bit muffled, no more than usual, it’s a good thing she’s very good at reading lips. In the end however, she doesn’t fully understand everything, not at her age, what she does understand is how happy her dads are. She sees them both smile as they have their brekky and she smiles along, she sees them break into laughter and joins in, and all hell breaks lose when Robert takes a piece of his toast and flings it at Aaron. Arya breaks into laughter along with Robert when the toast hits Aaron in the head.

“Oi.” Aaron feigns annoyance only causing Robert to laugh even harder, so hard he doesn’t even notice when Arya takes a fist full of eggs and flings at him from across the table. His laugh coming to a halt as the eggs hit his face and for a second Arya freezes, feeling like maybe she’d made a big mistake, Aaron’s laughter however tells her otherwise and before she knows it eggs and toast is flying across the table in all directions. Arya laughs and smiles through the whole thing, she’s still smiling as Robert grumbles about the mess they’ve made, and she’s still smiling when her eyes begin to feel heavy. The smile is there when her read is resting on daddy Aaron’s shoulder as he carries her up to her room for a nap. Just as her eyes begin to flutter close she sees Aaron smiling down at her. “Sleep well monkey.” He tells her before placing a kiss on her forehead right before she drifts off to sleep.

Robert is still cleaning up the mess they had made when Aaron walks back down with a smile on his face. He knows he should probably help, but he’s enjoying the view too much. Robert’s leaning over the table as he wipes it down, his arse on perfect display. The running shorts tight in just the right places. Aaron’s biting his lower lip as he stares when he hears Robert chuckle. “Like what you see?” He says, well aware that Aaron had been staring, he could practically feel it. That sense of Aaron’s sight burning on his back. Aaron takes the question as an invitation and makes his way over. He leans down over Robert, his own chest coming flushed with Robert’s back, placing his nose to the back of Robert’s neck he breathes him in. The scent of Robert so intoxicating to him, a smell he’d almost forgotten in those 4 years they were apart, he’s so glad to have it back. The smell a mixture of his natural musk mixed with the scent of his absurdly expensive shower gel, it’s enough to get him hard. 

Robert gasps at the feel of Aaron on him, feeling the heat of his breath on the back of his own neck, feeling what he can already tell is Aaron’s erection pressing against his arse, and he unravels the moment he feels Aaron’s fingers threading through his hair. Takes him back to the moment he just had earlier. Thinking of the things that Aaron does with it, almost as if reading his thoughts Aaron gently pulls his bead back by his hair and takes his lips. He parts his lips with his tongue as it dips into his own and Robert welcomes it. The kiss is deep, almost bruising, there’s something so desperate about it, so hungry. It’s too much and this is moving too slow. Pulling away from the kiss Robert pushes himself off the table taking Aaron along with him and turns to face him taking his lips. This time the kiss is more languid, and sensual, easing off it he runs his tongue along Aaron’s bottom lip before nipping at it with his teeth.

Aaron is moaning into the act as Robert puts his fingers under the hem of his shirt and quickly pulls it over his head before trying to take off his own. His shirt is still over his face when he feels Aaron’s shoving him against the table, still there when he feels Aaron lift him by his waist to place him on the table, and it’s still there when he’s being pushed back down on his back. When he finally gets the shirt off his head Aaron’s already sliding the running shorts off him, placing kisses down his stomach, inching closer and closer to his cock. He gasps as he feels the warmth of Aaron’s mouth enveloping him. Even soft Robert’s almost to much for Aaron to take whole, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. It doesn’t stop him from enjoying this. It’s one of his favorite things, feeling Robert harden in his mouth as works his cock. The filthy sounds coming from Robert’s mouth only making him work harder. His cheeks cave in as he sucks while he pulls back before going back in, his head bobbing up and down as he holds the base of Robert’s cock with his had while running his other one along his stomach.

“Fuck.” Robert moans repeatedly, almost as if singing praise to Aaron’s skills. His moans only getting deeper as he feels himself hitting the back of Aaron’s throat. Fuck it makes him see stars. Every time he does that, it makes him see stars, makes him loose his breath. The fact that he can take him whole once hard, still amazes him, amazes both of them really, but the fact he does it like a pro is what drives him wild. “Fuck me, Aaron.” He nearly cries out. 

Aaron smirks up at him, looking him in the eyes, Robert’s cock still in his mouth. The sight is obscene is the most amazing way that it alone is almost enough to make Robert come. Aaron’s still smirking when he pulls back releasing Robert’s cock from his mouth. He doesn’t need to be told twice. He quickly unbuttons his own shorts and slides them off, his own straining erection springing to life as it’s released form the fabric, the head already most dripping with precum. He’s spitting into his palm and slicking himself up, adding to the precum, before he runs his fingers along Robert’s hole. He gently rubs along the edges of the sensitive skin just teasing, takes his time as Robert writhes beneath his touch. “Please, Aaron.” Robert pleads, to no avail as Aaron continues to tease him. Robert is still squirming at his touch when he slightly dips a finger into his hole, the intrusion making Robert gasp. “Fuck, stop teasing. Give it to me, Aaron. Please.” He begs.

He can’t lie to himself, he wants it just as bad, maybe wants it even more. He can’t hold on any longer, can’t continue to teas Robert, every tease to Robert is just as a big a tease for him. He leans down and takes Robert’s lips, a bruising kiss that Robert moans into when he feels Aaron enter him. The stinging sensation making him whimper into the kiss at first as he adjusts to the intrusion. It only takes moments before Aaron is slowly pulling back and thrusting back in. It’s slow and gentle at first, this isn’t a quick desperate fuck. Everything is right with their world, they have everything they want, they’re making love. His legs wrapped around Aarons waist, Robert places his hands to either side of Aaron’s face as their kiss deepens and their tongues exploring each other’s mouths. Robert pulls back placing his forehead to Aaron’s quietly moaning into every thrust. “I love you so much, Mr. Sugden.”

“I love you more.” Aaron returns as he picks up pace, thrusting into Robert.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Harder. Harder.” Robert moans out, every moan sounding more guttural than the last. Every moan sending him closer to his climax. He feels the heat rolling within him, can feel his breathing getting heavier. “I’m going to…” Is all he gets out before his load is shooting, stream after velvety stream splashing across his chest and stomach as a string of obscenities leaves his mouth.

“Your so fucking beautiful.” Aaron says as he continues to thrust into him, his pace picking up again. His own orgasm not far behind. He can feel his legs giving, can feel them tremble, he knows it’s coming and quickly pulls out. “Fuck, Robert, I’m going to come.” He says as he strokes at his cock. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” He lets out as his orgasm hits him, his load releasing. Every last shot dripping onto Robert’s taint. Every bit of it running down to his hole where Aaron pushes it back in as he sticks his cock back into Robert’s hole.

“Oh fuck.” Robert lets out between gasps. His body spent, yet still craving more. It’s never enough, Aaron’s never enough. He takes Aaron’s face between his hands again, kissing him. “That. Was. Amazing.”

“Not bad for a Sugden, yeah?” Aaron questions with a wink.

Robert chuckles. He still feels Aaron inside of him, he wraps his legs around his waist and pulls him in deeper. “Not bad. Not fucking bad at all Mr. Sugden.”

After a few moments Aaron pulls out and walks over to the kitchen and grabs a hand towel and moistens it in the sink before cleaning himself off and walking over to Robert and cleaning him up as well. Robert sits up, still up on the table and pulls Aaron close to him. His legs on either side of Aaron’s thighs, he takes his hands into his own and looks up at him. “I know you didn’t want to wait any longer and quite frankly neither do I. I know it’s crazy and it’s soon, it’ll be a mad house trying to get everything and everyone ready, and I know your mum will probably kill us, but…let’s get married next month.” Robert asks, though it wasn’t much of a question. “What do you think?”

All Aaron can do is smile and nod in response. 

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

 


	12. Officially a Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron receives exciting news. The family comes together to celebrate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter was intended to be the final one, however it grew out of proportions and now it looks as if there will be one more final Chapter to come.
> 
> Still needs to go through some edits so my sincere apologies. Hop you enjoy it anyway, I'll try to get updates done soon.
> 
> As usual please leave comments and let me know what you think or even if you simply want to say it was good/bad. Comments are always appreciated.

 

**CHAPTER 12**

 

* * *

 

 

Aaron had been too busy playing with Arya when the postman stopped by to drop off their post, he had been too busy running around with Arya on his back, something they did often. It was something that always put a smile on Robert's face. It reminded him of long ago. It reminded him of happy memories. It reminded him of his mum and how she would do the same with him when he was little. He may not have had her for long but every memory of her he holds dear and watching Aaron and Arya play together always reminds him of her. It makes him wonder of how things would be if she was still around, makes him wonder if she would have liked Aaron, and every time he answers the question himself. He knows she would have loved Aaron if she was still around, knows that she would have loved their little monkey because he knew that she had loved him dearly, and every time he’d end up misty eyed. With a smile on his face Robert looked through the post, his smile growing wider when he caught sight of the envelope he had been waiting for. As promised, it arrived just in time. He quickly folded it in half and tucked it into his back pocket before he made his way to Aaron and Arya.   
  
“You two monkeys hungry?” He asked. “We’re going to have to get started on setting up soon so it’s now or never.”  
  
Both Aaron and Arya looked back at him with a smile. Aaron quickly turned his head over, looking over his shoulder and down at Arya he asked her. “You hungry?”  
  
Arya simply smiles as she pulls back nodding her head and placing her small hand in front of her chest, formed into a c shape she moves it down her chest. “Hungry.” She signed.  
  
Robert had walked over and as he places a soft kiss to Aaron’s lips he ruffles at Arya’s head lightly messing up her plaits. There’s a smirk on his face. “Oi. Your messing up her hair.” Aaron grunted. He took pride in his handy work. It still blew his own mind that he, Aaron freaking Dingle, the grumpiest and roughest of all Dingles had become so soft. So soft that first thing he did most mornings was spend half an hour brushing and plaiting Arya’s hair. He chuckled to himself just thinking of his teenage self, so lost, so at war over who he was…that version of him would have laughed at himself. None of that matter though, he’s grown since then. He knows who he is now, he loves who he is, and he loves what it has brought into his life. If plaiting his little girl’s hair makes her happy, it’s all that matters.  
  
“Why don’t you help daddy Aaron set the table and I’ll go make us something to eat.” Robert told Arya before placing a soft kiss to the top of her head, once again ruffling it. He quickly flinched back the moment he felt Aaron’s hand poking at his stomach. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” He laughed out before slowly backing away with his hands held up and turning to make his way back to the kitchen.   
  
As Aaron slowly kneels down to let Arya off his back he notices the envelop sticking out of Robert’s back pocket and turns to Arya. “Why don’t you go watch some telly while we get things ready?” He gently speaks close to hear ear before placing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. Arya smiles and quickly runs to sofa in search of the remote.   
  
Robert’s already in front of the stove cooking some eggs and bacon when he feels the arms wrap around his waist from behind and the soft kiss to his neck.  
  
“The table’s set.” Aaron told him. His resting on resting on Robert’s shoulder, he breathes him in. The scent so familiar to him now it reminds him of home, of what he considers home. “So, you going to tell me what you’re hiding?”   
  
“What?” Robert asked innocently.  
  
“What are you hiding, Sugden?” Aaron emphasized on the name. The name he always uses when Robert’s in trouble.   
  
“I’m not hiding anything.”  
  
“Really?” Aaron asks rolling his eyes. He knows Robert can’t see him do so, but he can’t help it. “Then what’s this?” He quickly yanks the envelope from Robert’s pocket and backs away shaking it in his hand.  
  
A smile spreads across Robert’s face as he turns and looks back at the envelope. A small wave of disappointment hits him, he wanted it to be a surprise at the party but telling him now will have to do. “It’s funny you called me that.” Robert said.   
  
At Robert’s words it dawns on him, and he quickly darts his eyes back to the envelope. “Is this what I think it is?” He asks with excitement spreading across his face.   
  
“Why don’t you open it and find out…Mr. Sugden.”  
  
Aaron is quick to tear into the envelope carefully, he knows what's inside and he doesn't want to risk tearing the documents. He pulls out the papers and begins quietly reading through them. The smile on his face grows wider by the second as his eyes carefully go over every word in the documents and soon enough he’s using the back of his free hand to wipe at his eyes. There’s tears fighting at the corner of them when he looks back up at Robert. “How?”  
  
“I told you my solicitor was good. I asked her if she could get both done at the same time and she delivered.” He tells Aaron as he walks over to him. “I hate to break it to you, Mr. Sugden but after today you are well and truly stuck with us. Me and your daughter that is.”  
  
Aaron can’t find the words, he finds that he can’t even really form them, so he simply throws himself at Robert wrapping his arms around him. “I love you.” He’s finally able to get out. “I love you so much, Robert.”  
  
Robert couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face nor the grunt that Aaron squeezed out of him when he tightened his grip on him. He returned the favor and squeezed gently into Aaron. “I know you do. I mean, how could you not? I’m irresistible.”  
  
“Shut up.” Aaron quickly shoots back. “You and your massive ego. I swear you’re lucky you’re as fit as you are...especially considering how ancient you are.”  
  
“Oh, come one. I’m not that old.” Robert replies looking slightly hurt.   
  
“You better be careful, or I might have to trade you in for a younger model.”  
  
“You wouldn’t dare.” Robert pouts.  
  
Aaron reaches for his face and takes it between his palms. Gently stroking his thumb across Robert’s cheeks, he looks intently into his eyes and smiles. “We should celebrate.”  
  
“We are. Why do you think I insisted on have the do here, today?” He tells him. “I thought I’d surprise ya. you still sure you want to trade me for another model."  
  
"Wouldn't trade ya for the world."  
  
____   
  
Just as the sun began to go down everything went into overdrive. Their guests would be arriving at any moment, so Robert and Aaron had to pick up the pace. Lucky for them Victoria, Adam, and Liv had shown up early to give them a hand. They had set up their garden for a family get together. A proper Dingle-Sugden do had become a regular thing with everyone taking turns hosting. The garden was big and spacious, similar to what they had at the Mill back in Emmerdale. A large table had been set out on the deck with plenty of seating, a white table cloth over it with plenty of candles secured inside mason jars to match the ones hanging from the string lights they'd set up. The candles made everything feel almost magical in the darkening sky. Magical enough to keep Arya entertained as she gazed up at them while they all frantically finished setting up.   
  
With the flickering light casting the perfect lighting, Robert had to stop to capture the moment. Fishing his phone out of his pocket he took a picture right before she turned her attention to him, she put her right hand near her face with all her little fingers out and she slowly moved to the left and down her face as she brought all her fingers together. “Pretty.” She signed to him referring to the candles and with a smile on her face she went back to playing just as everyone began to arrive.   
  
Chas and Paddy were the first to arrive bringing with them drinks from the pub. It was after all going to be a do filled with Dingles. Charity arrived shortly after along with Vanessa, followed by Harriet's bus filled with the rest of the Dingles. Diane, Bernice, Gabby, and Doug followed, Cain and Moira arrived last with Isaac. It only took about an hour for everyone to arrive and settle into conversations as they all gathered around the table while Isaac, Leo, and Kyle ran around playing with Arya. The chatter and laughter from everyone that filled the air only come to a stop when Robert and Victoria brought out the food. They had prepared a feast fit for kings, mostly because Victoria was on a high trying out recipes she was deciding on to go on her menu, the menu to the restaurant she is in the early stages of opening. Robert’s business had taken off from the beginning but his knack for business helped him grow it and make it as successful as it had become. He’d done so well he gifted Victoria with the startup cash she needed to buy her own restaurant one that just so happened to be located near his garage, she would soon be moving close by which also mean free babysitting. He grinned just thinking about it.  
  
Once everyone had been served he stood from his seat next to Aaron and raised a glass as he cleared his throat to grab everyone’s attention. “Thank you all for being here tonight.” He started. “I know we’ve been doing these get togethers for a bit now, but tonight unlike any other night, is special. Tonight, I wanted all of you, our family, to be here for a special occasion.” He said with a wide smile on his face.   
  
“Well, spit it out Sugden.” Cain shot out with his usual charm and Aaron couldn't help but chuckle.  
  
“What’s the occasion, Robert.” Chas followed.  
  
“Tonight, I wanted you all here to help me say goodbye to Aaron Dingle.” He said.  
  
“You what?” Chas returned in confusion. “What’s he talking about, Aaron?” She asked only getting a smile from him in return.   
  
“If I may?” He directed to Chas with a smug grin on his face. “I wanted you all to help me say goodbye to Aaron Dingle and help me welcome Mr. Aaron Sugden.” He finally let out with a massive smile on his face. “Our number just went up.” He said laughing towards Diane and Victoria.   
  
“Oi! You can change your name all you want, but you’re still one of use.” Sam pipped in looking at Aaron. “And so is he for that matter.” He added nodding towards Robert.  
  
“Well said, Sam.” Chas said. “Regardless of names, we’re all family here. The Dingle-Sugdens.” She said laughing.  
  
“Or the Sugden-Dingles.” Diane countered sending them all into laughter.  
  
Aaron took the moment to take his turn standing and raising a glass. “There’s something else we also wanted you all here for.” He said.  
  
“Not that he wasn’t already.” Robert interrupted knowing exactly what Aaron was about to announce. “But…” He adds turning to Aaron and letting him finish.  
  
“As of today, I am officially a dad.” He said with pride in his face.  
  
"Bro! That's mint!" Adam was the first to jump in as he stood from his seat next to Victoria and rushed over for a hug. "So proud of you, mate."  
  
Chas and Paddy followed in congratulating him right before Robert made a toast to celebrate.  
  
____  
  
If there was ever a moment he would describe as soft, this would be. In this exact moment, life is made. Everything he's ever been through including the bad, he has accepted because it meant he made it to this moment. This was what he had been waiting for all his life. What he never thought he'd have. Especially not with him. Not with the way things started. He never thought he'd have happiness, with Robert.  
  
Aaron couldn't help the soft smile that spread across his face as he watched Robert smear cake frosting across their little girl's face. Their giggles filling the air as Arya tried her best to smear some on Robert's face in return. He'd been so caught up in the moment he didn't even notice her turn her attention to him. It wasn't until her little finger was blotting the frosting on his nose as she stood on her chair leaning over the table that he snapped out of his blissful daze.  
  
"Oi." Aaron playful pouted. "How am I supposed to clean that?" He asked her.  
  
Arya simply smiled and leaned in placing a kiss to his nose soliciting a smile from him just before smearing more frosting on his chin.  
  
"You cheeky little monkey." He chuckled as he stood from his chair taking her into his arms and raising her over his head. "Did you like this one?" He asked, and she nodded with a smile.  
  
With all her little fingers pinched together on both hands she brings them together so her finger tips touch. "More." She signed.  
  
"Guess this is the one." Aaron says looking down at Robert who had been watching him play with Arya the whole time. He'd been looking at him as if he'd hung the moon and Aaron can't help the flush of red that comes over his face. He's always hated having attention on himself, but having Robert look at him that way is something he'd never tire of.  
  
"Hold still, will you?" Robert asked him as he reached for his phone and quickly opening the camera app to take a picture. "Nana Chas is going to love this one." He said with a grin on his face much to Aaron's chagrin. "Speaking of, we should probably get a move on. Your mum, Liv, Vic are coming over to take her dress shopping." He tells Aaron before taking Arya into his arms and placing a quick peck on her nose. His eyes are closed so he doesn't see it coming. He's completely caught off guard when he feels Aaron's hand smearing frosting down the side of his face making Arya giggle harder than he's heard her before giggle before.  
  
"Oi, what was that for?" Robert frowned, not that it stuck as it quickly faded into a smile. His hand quickly dipped into the closest piece of cake to him and he turned his gaze to Aaron who quickly jumped back.  
  
"No, don't." He said laughing. "If you do it, I'm going to have to retaliate and we don't want that do we?" He said eyeing him up and down.  
  
Robert couldn't help but gulp hard at Aaron's look. "Why is that?" He asked.  
  
"Cos I don't want to ruin that shirt on you...it's my favorite." There was no way around it, he couldn't deny it. The light pink shirt Robert was wearing looked like it was made specifically for him. It was so well fitted and clung to all the right places. It was beautifully snug around the chest and arms; Aaron's breath had caught in his throat when he saw Robert wearing it as he came down the stairs while he got Arya ready that morning.   
  
A smirk spread across Robert’s face before he leaned in close to Aaron. "Maybe you can show me how much you like it later, yeah?" He whispered into Aaron's ear as he reached behind him with his clean hand and squeezed at his arse cheeks.  
  
"Oi." Aaron gave him a look. "We're not alone you know.  
  
"What? It's not like she saw." Robert replied. "Right monkey?" He asked Arya.  
  
"Right." She responded with a smile on her face as she nodded vigorously.  
  
"Oi...don't take his side. You're supposed to be on my side." Said Aaron as he tickled Arya. "Besides, I'm your favorite, aren't I?"  
  
"Right." She let out between giggles.  
  
"Traitor." Robert pouted before Arya turned as best she could in Aaron's arms and reached out to hug Robert.  
  
"You're my favorite too daddy." She told him.  
  
____  
  
The door had just closed behind him when he found himself pinned against it. His breath caught in his throat as he looked up to see Aarons piercing blue eyes looking directly into his own, his line of sight slowly moving from his eyes down to his lips and back again before his tongue ran along his bottom lip and he feels his legs nearly give in. The way Aaron looks at him with such hunger always makes him weak in the knees, makes him forget everything else, damn near makes him forget his own name.  
  
He's struggling to get any words out but lucky for him Aaron isn't in the mood for any. He lunges forward and takes Robert's bottom lip between his teeth and gently sucks on it as his hands nimbly work the buttons of his shirt. Had it been any other shirt he would have ripped it right off, but not this one, this one in particular he was very fond of. This one made him hard every time just from looking at him when Robert wore it.  
  
When the buttons are all undone Aaron gently glides his hands under the shirt running his palms along Robert's bare chest and up to his shoulders. Releasing Robert's lip from his teeth he leans down and places soft kisses down his neck as he pushes the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, his lips traveling down tracing along all his favorite freckles and down to his stomach until he's on his knees looking back up at Robert. With a grin on his face Aaron reached for Robert's belt and quickly unbuckled it as he ran his tongue along his stomach.  
  
"Fuck." Is all that could escape Robert's mouth before he felt Aaron pulling his trousers down along with his boxers in one quick pull.  
  
"You have no idea how bad I've wanted you today." Aaron says licking his lips. "Ever since you came down this morning wearing that shirt...fuck, Robert." He said before taking Robert's soft cock into his mouth.  
  
A loud gasp escaped Robert's mouth as he threw his head back at the feel of the warmth from Aaron's mouth. "Oh fuck." He let out between breaths as Aaron' head bobbed back and forth, working his mouth and hand in unison, he knew exactly how to work him.  
  
"I fucking love feeling you get hard in my mouth." Aaron said as he pulled back, a cocky grin on his face as he looked up at Robert. He wiped his mouth and stood up taking Robert's lips with his own. The kiss was soft at first but became intense quickly as their tongues began swirling with one another and their hands began roaming each other's bodies. Aaron's hands went back to Robert's chest as Robert's went around Aaron's waist and to his arse. His long fingers slowly working their way down his crease and to his hole. All Aaron could do was moan into Robert's mouth as he felt the teasing. He pulled back from the kiss and spun them around, so Robert's back was now facing the living room. He slowly pushed him back leading him to the sofa and gently pushed him onto it.  
  
Robert shook his trousers off his ankles as Aaron looked down at him. "Like what you see."  
  
Aaron couldn't help the scoff that escaped his mouth and sometimes just like this he couldn't help but encourage his cockiness. "Touch yourself for me." He said in that low raspy voice that makes Robert melt like putty.  
  
"Oh, I like where this is going."  
  
"Shut up and just do it."  
  
Robert licked his lips and reached down taking a hold of cock with his right hand and placed his other hand over his stomach. Aaron couldn't help but match him in licking his own lips as he stood watching the sight before him. It still blows his mind that what stands before him is his, all his. Robert knows he's good looking, but Robert is also all talk. Aaron's come to know the real him, he's come to know all his insecurities, and he knows that Robert doesn't really realize just how beautiful he is.  
  
"Now stroke yourself."  
  
Without hesitation Robert begins to stroke himself. His hand pumping up and down his length as his other hand roams over his stomach and chest, the filthy noises coming from his mouth making Aaron bite at his lower lip.  
  
Aaron watches on as Robert strokes himself and palms his own hard on through his jeans. "That's it. Keep going." He tells Robert as he unbuttons his jeans and slides his hand into them. "Now touch your hole with your other hand."  
  
Robert smiles and places his hand to his mouth as he dips his middle finger into it. He winks an eye at Aaron before slowly moving has hand back down past the hand that is stroking himself, and down past his taint and to his hole. A low moan escapes his mouth as his finger touches the sensitive skin. His finger slowly rubbing circles around his entry, his eyes closed, and his fist pumping at his cock, every last detail Aaron tries to memorize.  
  
"Stick it in." The raspy voice demands.  
  
Robert complies. His head pushes back as his finger pushes past the ring of his hole and he licks his lips as moans escape him. Everything has become to much. Aaron can't hold back any longer. As Robert opens his eyes Aaron lifts his own shirt up over his head and drops it to the floor. His eyes locked on to Robert as he fingers himself, Robert's eyes locked onto him as he strips himself of his clothes.  
  
With his shirt and jeans tossed to the side, Aaron leans down planting his hands on either side of Robert's head and places a bruising kiss to his lips. Just as quickly he pulls back and places his hands on Robert's hips before yanking him back to the edge of the sofa. It's then that it occurs to him why Robert was so keen on a sectional, it dawned on him just what Robert had in mind, what else they'd be using it for. Once he has Robert on the edge of it he flips him over and Robert can't help but moan into the manhandling. It turns him on even more when Aaron gets so aggressive. It turns him on when he tosses him around like this, if his cock wasn't pressed against the side of the sofa he'd be squeezing at it just thinking about it. He can't touch himself with the way Aaron has him positioned, but it doesn't matter. If he keeps handling him the way he is, he knows he'll come without even touching himself.  
  
"Aaaaaah fuuuuuck." He groans in ecstasy as he feels Aaron thrust into him in one go. The sting is unlike anything else. A pain that's hard to describe. A pain that hurts so good. A pain he'd accept time and time again if Aaron was dealing it.  
  
"I've wanted you so bad all day." He hears the words whispered into his ear as he feels the pressure of Aaron's full weight on him. His bare chest flushed against his own back, an all too familiar heat, and an all-consuming scent of him nearly make his eyes roll back. "I've been thinking about this, haven't been able to stop thinking about it." The words continue as Aaron thrusts into him.  
  
Every thrust perfectly hitting him in the right spot, every thrust growing in strength and speed. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck." Robert whimpers. "Harder. Fuck me harder." He demands before turning his head and leaning it as far back as he could to take Aaron's lips with his own.  
  
Aaron's hand holds his face by his chin as the kiss gets sloppy and hungry. Their tongues swirling together as every thrust that Aaron takes into him drives filthy noises from his mouth. "I love those noises." Aaron tells him in that raspy voice. "You're going to make me come if you keep them up."  
  
Robert doesn't stop. If anything, he gets more vocal and begins to push back into every thrust. "Oh fuck. I'm going to come." Aaron says and quickly pulls out of Robert making him whimper in protest. Just as quickly he flips him over and begins stroking himself over Robert. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He lets out through gritted teeth as his load spills from him. The white velvety streams landing on Robert's own cock and stomach.  
  
With a smile on his face Robert wipes his fingers across his stomach and brings them up to his mouth licking them, humming into the taste of Aaron. "You taste so good."  
  
And fuck if Aaron doesn't lose it. He quickly reaches down to stroke Robert's cock, he slicks it up using his own come and turns. With his back facing Robert he slowly begins to lower himself. "Fuck." He groans as he feels the tip of Robert's cock push past his sensitive skin of his hole. Just like Robert, filthy noises begin to slip past his lips as he feels the length of Robert glide into him. The sting is mild at first but once Robert is past the threshold there is an amazing feeling as he slides in that puts a smile on Aaron's face. "Oh fuck." He moans as he begins to slowly raise himself up before going back down as he places his hands on Robert's thighs on either side of his legs.  
  
He rhythmically raises and lowers himself at a steady pace as he rides Robert, stopping every few minutes to grind himself down on Robert's cock only to start the motions again. Robert finally wraps his arms around his chest and pulls him down flushed to his chest and turns his head over to take his lips. "I love it when you're so needy." He tells him as he pulls away from the kiss, his long arms moving down to the sides of Aaron's legs and raising them, his hands hooking behind his knees, he holds them up and begins thrusting into him.  
  
"Oh, god." Aaron whimpers. The position just perfect, the thrusts so delicious he feels like he's melting. "Fuck, Robert. Fuck. Yeah. Fuck." He whimpers.  
  
"Fuck, Aaron. Say my name."  
  
"Fuck me, Robert. Fuck me." He says, his voice getting shaky. He feels the heat in his core, feels everything tensing, he's about to come again. "Robert, fuck me harder, Robert."  
  
"Fuck, I'm going to come, Aaron." Robert moans into Aaron's ear and begins thrusting as hard as he can. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." The string of obscenities slips past his lips as he feels his body tense and his toes curl, his breath hitches in his throat and he's gone. His load shooting into Aaron, the heat, the tensing, all enough to send Aaron chasing after his own orgasm.  
  
"Fuuuuuuuck." Aaron groans as he shoots a second load all over himself. The orgasm so intense he feels his come hit his chest and even his chin. "Oh fuck." He says as Robert lets go of his legs and he fully collapses unto him. With his own legs between Robert, he turns his head as far back as he can and Robert licks at his chin taking the come that had landed there before taking his lips with his own. As they're tongues swirl together Aaron moans into Robert's mouth as he tastes himself on him.  
  
"Can we just stay like this for a while?" Robert jokes.  
  
"You mad? We need to clean up, don't know when me mum will be back with Arya, do we?" Aaron replies leaving Robert with a pout on his face. "But maybe we can have a bit more fun in the shower...if you're up for it?"  
  
"Well, how could I possibly turn that down? Come on, what are we waiting for?"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next - The Wedding


	13. In You I Found Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After such a long road everything is going right, Robert and Aaron finally get married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...so this was intended to be the final chapter and yet somehow it didn't happen. Looks like there's room for one more. Might as well end it on a nice even number.
> 
> Still needs to go through edits so sorry for all the typos. I'll update as soon as I can.

 

**CHAPTER 13**

 

* * *

 

 

As he clears his throat he can feel his heart speed up. The spotlight is on him and his heart feels like it's about to jump out through his throat. Robert can feel every single eye on him and suddenly he feels like pulling a runner. He has no idea what he was thinking. Neither Aaron or himself really like talking about their feelings, or never really did before, but now...things are different. As he turns and sees the beautiful crystal blue eyes looking back at him he finds his courage, finds his center, finds his calm, and everything settles. As if he had actually written and memorized the words they simply begin to flow past his lips. He can see the confusion Aaron's eyes, they had both agreed against doing their own vows, anything they had to say was meant for only each other. Robert couldn't help it though, his love for his beautiful husband would often overwhelm him.  
  
"I know, we didn't meet under the best of circumstances." Robert starts, nodding between himself and Aaron before letting a small chuckle escape his lips, a small chuckle that is followed by laughter in the crowd.  
  
"You could say that again." Charity shouts back right before Debbie nudges her elbow effectively shutting her up, and another burst of laughter fills the room.  
  
"And we've been through so much together, but I don't regret it. Not for a second. Yeah I wish I could change things, wish I'd done things differently, saved us a lot of heartache...but then again maybe we wouldn't be here now. Maybe we wouldn't be a family, wouldn't have each other, wouldn't have the most perfect little monkey to call our daughter." Robert continues trying his best to not let his voice crack. "Aaron, in you I found something I thought I lost long ago, something that was taken from me, something I ran away from. I found myself with you Aaron. You reminded me of who I once was, reminded me of that part I had to hide for so many years. In you I found the best parts of me...I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I'd take it all just to have you in my life, Aaron. The good, the bad, the everything, because life without you would be meaningless." He finally ends as he swallows past the lump in his throat, fighting back the pools that have built up in his eyes.  
  
"Robert." Aaron starts, the all too familiar feeling in his own throat giving him the slight pause to collect himself. "I...I don't know what to say." He finally lets out as his voice breaks and tears welled up in his eyes. Part of him curses Robert for doing what he just did. They had agreed to keep everything simple and quickly done with. What they had to say, what they meant to each other, had already been said. Besides talking about their feelings wasn't something either of them was crazy about, certainly not in front of others.  
  
Robert reaches up and places a hand to Aaron's cheek, his thumb brushing off a tear Aaron hadn't realized had fallen. "You don't have to say anything, Aaron. You've already given me more than I could ever possibly deserve."  
  
Aaron's eyes dart between Robert and everyone sitting. Their families all there to celebrate them, to celebrate their love, to celebrate everything that they had managed to accomplish together. The day had finally arrived like a whirlwind and to them it couldn't have come any sooner. There they stood in their suits. Robert in a pristine, three piece maroon suit that Aaron had picked out for him, though Robert wanted a classic black one Aaron won stating maroon was his favorite color on him.  
  
Aaron of course had been stubborn through the whole process, whined about having to get a new suit when the one he had from their unofficial wedding was in perfect condition. In the end he gave in and tried on several suits for Robert. A process he clearly enjoyed all too much, a process Aaron quickly got bored with, but one that was worth every second of in the end when he stepped out of the fitting room in the last suit. A suit Aaron had picked out himself, the style was a bit out of the norm for him, but something about the jacket drew him in. It was a three piece suit with black pants, shirt, and waist coat topped off with a blue jacket adorned with black lapels and bowtie. Robert had been left speechless for once, his jaw literally hanging as his eyes roamed over every inch of him. The moment Robert stood from his seat and pushed him back into the fitting room, quickly closing the door behind them before taking his lips, Aaron knew he'd found the suit.  
  
Taking a breath he puts those memories aside. The present is what matters, the man before is what matters, what matters more than anything else ever could. As his eyes dart from his family all gathered before them back to the beautiful green eyes that stole his heart years ago it all comes to him.  
  
"Robert, in you I found life. I found a real reason to live. When I fell in love with you I realized something. I realized I wasn't really living, at least not for me, not for myself. I was just going through the motions, but you...you made me want to finally live. To live for myself. I showed you all the parts of me that weren't the best, showed you the worst parts of me, and you never ran. Not once. No matter how hard I tried to pushed you away, you were always there by my side, always there making sure I didn't give, making sure that I was okay. You took the most broken parts of me and with every touch you fixed them. You saved my life time and again, without ya I wouldn't be here. This whole soppy shi..." He almost slips but catches himself. "This...hasnt always been me, I used to hate this, but I don't care anymore, I can't help it. You make me happy, you make me feel safe, you make me want things I would have laughed at years ago, and I love you all the more for it, and I'll do it for the rest of my life." As he finishes he notices the tears running down Robert's face and notices the same on his.  
  
"That was beautifully said if I do say so myself." Harriet adds. "Now, with that all said...I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss."  
  
Robert gently places his hands on Aaron's cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the tears, and gently pulls him into a kiss so soft it makes them both feel at home. A feeling so tender and so familiar that everything else melts away. Nothing else exists, just them. It's not until they feel the tugging at their legs that they zone back in. Arya stands at their feet with her arms raised in the air and a massive smile on her face. She may be young but she knows the significance of what she's just witnessed, and nothing makes her happier than seeing her dads happy.  
____  
  
Robert and Aaron sat side by side with their families to each of their sides, and through every speech, through every story of their past, through every laugh, they simply held hands and barely looked away from each other. Yeah, they'd technically done this before, gotten married, but it wasn't the same. This time they were solid, really solid, and for once in their lives everything was going right. They both wore a smile on their faces that lit up the hall the reception was taking place in. It wasn't until after all the applause and the music started playing that Robert finally broke their eye contact with a smile as he looked out into the dance floor.  
  
"So..."  
  
"Don't even think about it."  
  
"But."  
  
"No buts, there's no way in hell you're getting me out there."  
  
"Not even once?"  
  
"Not even once."  
  
"Look." Robert says pointing out to the dance floor. "Even Cain is out there with Moira. One dance won't kill ya."  
  
"You know I don't dance, Robert. It's not happening."  
  
"You're no fun." He says pouting.  
  
"You won't be saying that tonight." Aaron finally cracks a smile and winks an eye.  
  
Robert's pout quickly turns to a grin. "Oh, yeah? Now you're talking my language." He tells him as he looks around them and his eyes go wide before he turns his attention back to his husband. "I'm going to go get a drink, do you want anything?"  
  
"Yeah, can you get me a pint."  
  
Robert smiles and nods already knowing what Aaron would ask for. He's never been much for wine or champagne, but get him a cold pint and he's all good. As Robert stands and walks off Connor quickly takes the seat besides Aaron as he pats his shoulder.  
  
"Congratulations Mr. Sugden." Connor says smiling. "Imt really happy for the pair of yas."  
  
"Thanks, mate. That means a lot."  
  
"No, thank you, Aaron. Thanks for making him truly happy again. He had a rough go for a couple of years there. I mean, I know you know, but having actually witnessed the...I can tell you it was rough. Everything changed though when you came round looking for him. I'm really glad you did. Now just make sure you keep him that way."  
  
"I will do." Aaron replies nodding his head.  
  
"Mate!" Robert shouts over the music as he walks back and notices Connor. "So glad you stuck around. Figured you'd have left with that date of yours."  
  
"What and miss the free drinks?" He replies laughing as he stands from the seat leaving it open for Robert. Connor takes the time to congratulate them both before making making his way over to the bar. Giving others a turn to congratulate the couple.  
  
Chas and Paddy are the first to make their way and Robert thanks Chas for volunteering to watch Arya for the night and during their honeymoon. She stops him halfway through and lets him know that she's more than happy to watch her favorite granddaughter.  
  
"But she's your only granddaughter." Aaron was quick to correct her.  
  
"Doesn't make it any less true. Now shut it you." She says pinching his cheek.  
  
Paddy per the usual ends up making some remark about their free time for the night without Arya something that quickly makes Aaron flushed and uncomfortable.  
  
"Quit while you're ahead, Paddy. Come on, let's leave the boys to it."  
  
Adam and Victoria make their way, followed by Vanessa and Charity. Vanessa who's gotten close with Robert took her time asking questions about the wedding and the honeymoon, something Charity picked up on and quickly pulled her away, leaving both Aaron and Robert laughing. It wasn't until Diane and Bernice had their turn that Robert looked away with wide eyes and nodded his head as if his neck was aching him.  
  
"You alright?" Aaron asked.  
  
"What?" Robert answers looking back into Aaron's eyes. "Yeah, I'm good." He's telling him as familiar head full of golden hair neatly done in plaits squeezes between them.  
  
Arya looks up with a smile on her face and turns her attention to Aaron, slowly wiggling in between them. She keeps her eyes on him as she places her hands out. With one hand still and flat, palm facing up, and the other one pointing towards it with her index and middle fingers sticking out, she waves that hand twice, her fingers pointing back to the palm after the waves. "Dance." She singed.  
  
"You want to dance?" Aaron asks her with a smile on his face. The love in his eyes for his daughter is only rivaled by the look he gets when he looks at Robert.  
  
Arya smiles wide and nods in response. It's clear that she wants to dance and if there's one person he can't deny, it's his little monkey. Aaron quickly looks towards the dance floor then back to Arya. "Then what are we doing all the way over here?" He asks her. "Come on." He tells her as he stands from his seat.  
  
"Oi." Robert protests. "So you'll dance with her no questions asked?"  
  
"You bet. Just look at this face." Aaron replies as he takes her into his arms and squeezes her cheek. "Come on, monkey. Let's dance."  
  
"Traitor." Robert grumbles towards Arya then quickly gives her a wink as she looks back at him over Aaron's shoulder while they walk towards the dance floor.  
  
"You having fun, monkey?"  
  
Arya nods her head in response then gently leans it on Aaron's shoulder where she rests it for a moment as he slowly sways to the music. "You know, me and your dad are gonna miss you while we're gone, but we'll call you every day."  
  
Arya lifted her head back up and pointed to him before she placed an index finger near her lips and waved it away from them quickly opening her hand with all fingers stretched out, and tapping the palm of that hand to the top of her other hand that's closed in a fist, ending with a shrug. "You promise?" She signed.  
  
"I promise." He answers and places a soft kiss to the top of her head leaving her with a beaming smile. It's then that he notices the music coming to an end and an all too familiar song begin to play.  
  
"Can I cut in?" Aaron hears from behind him. The voice coming from his husband, coming in that tone that's only ever used for him.  
  
"Here, I'll take her." Liv chimes in as she appears by his side and takes Arya from his arms with a cheeky grin on her face.  
  
Aaron's barely turned to face Robert when his hands take him by his hips and pull him closer to him. "Since you're already out here..."  
  
"Why not go the full mile and make a fool of myself by dancing?"  
  
"This isn't dancing, remember? We're just swaying."  
  
Aaron can't help the chuckle that escapes his lips at the words. They bring back a memory, a memory from a different time, from a day long ago, a day he once thought to be the happiest day he'd ever have. He was wrong.  
  
"You see, I knew you'd say no to a dance." Robert said as they slowly swayed to the music. "So I had to deploy my little secret weapon."  
  
"You little shit." Aaron said pulling back and poking at Robert's side making him jump with laughter. "I knew it! I knew you were up to something back there with nodding and the eyes."  
  
Robert pouts assuming he'd ruined his chance by spilling his secret too early, but Aaron catches him off guard as he takes him by the hips and pulls him closer. "Robert Jacob Sugden getting his way as usual...by being dodgy...and using his own daughter to top it off. What have I gotten myself into?" He asks with a smile on his face.  
  
"Don't even, you knew exactly what you were getting into, besides, it's not like you can resist me anyway."  
  
Aaron scoffs with a smile on his face, he can't help it. He's happy. Today is his day. Today is their day. "You're such a cocky shit, you know that?"  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"And I fucking love that about ya, probably one of the first things that attracted me to you. That and that sweet arse of yours."  
  
"Oi, don't get me riled up, we're amongst family here."  
  
"Well, the sooner we get out of here, the sooner I can show you what else I love about you." Aaron teased before resting his head in the crook of Robert's neck.  
  
"Are you happy?" Robert asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Aaron nodded in response and tightened his hold on Robert's hips and much to his surprise they swayed together past their song and the following one, finally calling it a night shortly after. They made sure to greet everyone that came for the party and excused themselves before hugging Arya goodbye knowing they'd be off for their honeymoon the following morning.  
  
____  
  
Robert couldn't help but yawn as he walked through the door to their suite with Aaron behind him. The day had been fairly exhausting and had worn them both down, but as tired as he was he still had a glow about him. The day had been perfect. Everything had been perfect. Aaron had been perfect. He still couldn't believe he'd managed to get Aaron to dance with him for as long as he did, and he felt the flutter in his stomach just thinking about the way Aaron had rested his head into the crook of his neck as they danced.  
  
"What are you smilling at, you muppet?" Aaron asked noticing the massive grin on Robert's face.  
  
"Just happy is all." He replied reaching out and fisting his hands into Aaron's shirt pulling him closer. He leaned in and placed his forehead to Aaron's keeping his eyes locked onto his. "I love you so much, Aaron." He whispered as his nose rubbed agains Aaron's.  
  
"I love you more." Aaron whispered back, his voice soft yet gravely. Such a soft tone that wasn't usually heard from him, but it always came out for Robert, always came out at his softest of moments.  
  
"Don't be daft. It's not possible." Robert's hands reached up and took Aaron's face, cupping it gently, pulling him into a kiss.  
  
The kiss was soft and full of love. It was softer than any kiss they had shared before. It made Aaron feel like he was floating and he couldn't help himself as his hands slowly moved down and began unbuttoning Robert's shirt. They had both long taken off their jackets and waistcoats to relax during the reception, making things much easier for Aaron now.  
  
He took his time gently undoing every button as he moaned softly into Robert's mouth, their tongues swirling with one another's as Robert gently held onto his face. Aaron wanted to savor this moment, wanted to memorize every second of it, the day would forever be stored in his mind and heart. As he undid the last button he slowly placed his hands inside Robert's shirt gently holding onto his sides. He caressed every inch he could, taking his time as he brushed over his chest he rubbed a thumb over an old scar, a scar caused by something that nearly took him from him. The memory almost stings as he remembers where they were at the time, as he remembers how much he wanted to hate him. Still, that was a lifetime ago and as Robert told him, it all led them to this. A soft smile spreads across his lips as he kisses his husband, and his hands move up pushing the shirt off Robert's shoulders and sliding it off before it hits the ground.  
  
Robert pulled back from the kiss only long enough to properly catch his breath and took Aaron's bottom lip between his teeth. His hands moved down and slowly unbuttoned Aaron's shirt in the same way Aaron had undone his, before he slowly began running his hands over Aaron's body. He took his time just as well feeling every curve, dip, and scar on Aaron's body. Knowing exactly what had run through Aaron's mind he stopped and lifted Aaron's forearm to his lips. His thumb brushed against the old scar before he placed his lips to it as the memory played through his head. A memory of a time he'd nearly lost him, a scar that led back to a reconciliation. Letting the arm drop Robert spun them around and slowly pushed Aaron until they reached the bed and gently pushed him down to it. He looked down to see the crystal clear blue eyes looking back at him, looking at him as if he had hung the moon, and he smiled knowing that look was all for him. He never thought he'd get here, never thought he'd be worthy of this kind of love, but fuck if he isn't glad he was wrong. So very wrong. A soft chuckle slips past his lips just thinking about it and it's followed by another when he feels Aaron's hands on his hips pulling him closer. Aaron's lips press against his stomach as he places kisses over it while his hands unbuckle his belt and pants before gently sliding them down his legs, tapping at his thigh letting him know to step out of them.  
  
"Fuck." He grunts as Aaron wraps a hand on his hardening cock, and a low gasp escapes his lips when he feels the warmth of Aaron's tongue run along his shaft to the slit on the head of it. His head throws back when he feels Aaron engulf him. His fingers thread through Aaron's hair and he slowly begins to move his hips as Aaron's hands guide him. The slow thrusts each making him harder also make Aaron more precise with what he's doing. Expertly taking him whole as he uses a hand to jerk and twist at the same time, all the while Aaron palms at his own erection straning in his pants. As he feels himself hitting the back of Aaron's throat Robert gently pulls Aaron's head back by his hair and leans down to take his lips. The kiss is hard unlike their earlier one. Their tongues dance with each other as Robert places his hands below Aaron's underarms and lifts him to his feet before turning him around and pushing him back onto the bed.  
  
Aaron's face has just hit the soft bed when he feels Robert's fingers inside the waist of his pants and his lips peppering kisses across his own back, and he smiles knowing whats coming. Robert can make him unravel with the slightest of touches, and the things he does with his tongue are unlike anything else. As he feels the kisses trail down his spine to the small of his back he feels his pants being pulled off him followed by gentle bites on his arse cheeks. "Oi. Careful." He laughs and bites down on his lips as he feels the familiar fingers under the waistband of his boxers, and he bites harder when he feels them being pulled off ever so slowly. As if the anticipation is killing him, FINALLY he thinks to himself as his head throws back when he feels it. "Fuck." He moans as the prickles of Robert's stubles scratches across his cheeks. Robert had argued against letting any sort of beard grow out, it wasn't really his style, but Aaron talked him into it and Robert was permanently sold when he found out how much Aaron enjoyed the feel of it when he rimmed him. The burn, the prickle, the sting of it on the gentle skin of his hole. It drove him mad and Robert revelled in it.  
  
Robert grinned as he heard the word leave Aaron's lips. He fucking loved how he squirmed beneath his touch, how he unraveled as his scruff scratched across his skin. He could see the goosebumps spread across Aaron's cheeks and it made him smile wider. He gently ran his tongue up the split of Aaron's arse and gently split his cheeks apart giving himself all the room he needed, and the perfect view of Aaron's tight pink hole. He could almost see it pulse just waiting for him, his tongue dragged across his bottom lip and he leaned right in, no longer able to hold back. His tongue circled the edges of the sensitive skin as Aaron's back arched and his arse lifted shoving further into Robert's face.  
  
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck." Aaron moaned as Robert's tongue worked at his hole and his scruff scratched at his taint. He hadn't even touched himself but he could tell his cock was leaking, he could feel the precum smearing across his stomach as his cock pressed between it and the bed. Filthy noises escaped his lips, his toes curled, and he could feel himself getting close as Robert's tongue unraveled him. His face pushing harder into his arse, the stubble scratching at his skin, Aaron knows it'll leave his skin raw and he couldr care less. He's loving every second of this. He's loving it too much. "Robert, stop." He nearly shouted. "I'm getting close. Please...I need you in me." He pleaded.  
  
Again, Robert simply grinned at the words coming from Aaron and pulled back as he climbed onto the bed and spread Aaron's legs apart, taking a place between them. He slowly leaned down placing his hands on either side of Aaron's arms and placed a kiss to his shoulder before taking his lips as Aaron leaned back for the kiss. "You want me?"  
  
"Yes, Robert. I need ya." He replied as Robert put his weight onto one arm so he could bring his free hand to his mouth and spit into it. As Aaron looked back over his shoulder he couldn't quite see, but he could feel Robert reach down and rub the spit onto his hole, and he gasped at the feel of Robert's fingers enter him. He was more relaxed than he'd ever been in his life, he was ready, he was desperate. "Fuck me, Robert." He said and gasped as he felt Robert glide in.  
  
"Fuck." Robert let out under his breath. The warmth of Aaron, the tightness, a feeling he could never possibly tire off. He'd been jerking himself off as he rimmed Aaron and gotten close. He loved pleasuring Aaron more than himself really, and hearing the sounds coming from him nearly sent him over the edge. He wanted to take his time so every thrust was slow, every thrust was passionate, and every one of them hit Aaron in the right spot making him whimper with pleasure. He leaned further down onto his elbows and with his chest pressed to Aaron's back he placed kisses to his neck as he contined to thrust into him. "Im close." He whispered into his ear.  
  
"Come for me, Robert. Please." He begged.  
  
The words were more than enough to send him over the edge and he felt his body tense, his toes curl, and the heat pool within him. "Fuck. I'm gonna come." He grunted.  
  
"Oh fuck. Me too." Aaron said as he felt his own orgasm hit him. He hadn't even touched himself, not that it was needed with the assault Robert had on his prostate. "I'm coming." He shouted pushing back into Robert as he felt the spurts of warmth on his stomach. His load collecting between him and the bed. As he took a deep breath he could feel robert thrusting harder into him and could feel his body shake, he knew Robert was spilling his load into him and it only turned him on further, part of him was sure he was having another orgasm even though he felt fully spent.  
  
"Fuck." They both said as Robert fully collapsed onto his back. Aaron leaned back taking Robert's lips with his own.  
  
"That was fucking amazing, Robert."  
  
"Yeah, it was. I can't...I can't even move right now. I feel like my whole body is tingling."  
  
"Getting too old for this then, are you?"  
  
"As if...you little shit." He said before slapping at Aaron's arse.  
  
"Oi."  
  
"What? Just making sure you still had feeling down there."  
  
"Cheeky."  
  
"We should probably get some rest. I want to make sure we have enough time for a video call with the monkey before the taxi gets here to pick us up tomorrow morning."  
  
"Yeah, I was thinking the same." Aaron replied then quickly followed. "You sure about this?"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Going away for that long? You sure you can be away from her for that amount of time?"  
  
"We're going to call every day, and she's going to be with Chas and Paddy the whole time."  
  
"Yeah, but two whole weeks?"  
  
"Maybe it's you that can't be away from her that long...soft lad." Robert jokes. "My soft lad." He finally says as he pulls him into his arms.

"Arse." Aaron chuckles. "So, Vegas?"

 

 

 

 


	14. Life is Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the honeymoon and back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is. It's been a long time coming and part of me has been purposely dragging cos I wasn't ready to say goodbye, but I guess it's time.
> 
> Still needs to go through proper edits so bear with me. I'll update soon.
> 
> As always, please leave messages and let me know what you think. I hope you guys have enjoyed this rollercoaster of a ride.

**CHAPTER 14**

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A small pain aches at his rear, he feels cramped thanks to his long legs, and the smell of stale air fills his nostrils, but none of it matters. Not one bit. His heart is content and his chest feels like it'll burst with love at any moment. Besides, the smell of stale air is suddenly replaced with a scent he can never get enough of. Robert had already been smiling but it only widened when he feels his husband's head further tuck into his neck. He breaths him in and continues to flip through the pictures on his phone. One shot after another filled with Aaron and only Aaron. He stops at a shot of him topless by the poolside with a drink in hand, he had caught the picture candidly on his way back from the bar. He'd gone off to get another drink for himself and on his way back he'd seen Aaron just sitting by the poolside looking like a model, drink in hand and looking off into the sunset without a worry in the world, and the moment was too good to pass up. The lighting, his smile, his body, the shot couldn't have been anymore perfect. It was followed by plenty of shots they took throughout Vegas. Some at attractions, some at the poolside, some of them leaving a show Robert had dragged Aaron to. Regardless of where they were, smiles were plastered to their faces as if they had stuck that way.   
  
Vegas had been fun to say the least, Aaron couldn't get enough of it, but it was what came after that really blew them both away. After their week away in Vegas the surprise Robert had planned for the second week of their honeymoon is what really left an impression on them. From Vegas, Robert had whisked them away to southern Peru for a trip to Machu Picchu. He knew it was completely out of anything Aaron would even think of and that's what made it all the better. The wonder, the amazement, all physically visible in Aaron's face and in his eyes as they reached the tip of the climb to the ancient Inca citadel. The experience and the pictures from there were far beyond better than even Vegas. The pictures they took there were even better. The breathtaking views from the mountain top where Aaron posed with his arms straight in the air, mouth and eyes wide open, as he claimed victory against the steps they climbed to get there. Plenty of shots of them with the citadel in view behind them, some that Aaron wanted framed to hang in their home, and he couldn't wait to show to their family. His favorite however had been the selfie he had taken on the beach in Mancora. They had spent the day relaxing on the beach soaking up the sun and as they finally gathered their things to head back to their hotel room, Aaron had walked up behind him and thrown one arm over his shoulder and the other around his waist before planting a kiss to his cheek. He remembered the flutter in stomach as Aaron squeezed him, a feeling he felt every time Aaron laid hands on him. He had quickly pulled his phone out and somehow managed to catch the moment before Aaron even noticed. Between the beach and Machu Picchu, Aaron made him promise they'd do more trips like it, as a family. Traveling the world seeing all the beauties they could.    
  
They had been so lucky as to meet a fellow couple who were also on their honeymoon that took several pictures of them together. A struck of luck as both had refused on using selfie sticks, the thought alone made them both want to hit something. Though they had spent the first couple of days all to themselves, they ended up making friends with the couple and exploring the locales with them. In the end the last two nights were spent alone mostly in their hotel room recovering, lounging around, and making love.   
  
Robert had been thinking about the final night when he had Aaron out in the balcony of their hotel room, it had been a perfect end to a perfect honeymoon. Aaron had been peacefully leaning over the rail checking out the view as the sun set.   
  
"Beautiful view innit?" He had asked over his shoulder.   
  
Robert stood back leaning on the doorway to their room just watching him. The remaining light hit all the right places on his body and Aaron couldn't possibly look anymore beautiful, he looked so amazing Robert felt his heart skip a beat as he stared longingly at his husband. Aaron had always had the more toned body out of the two of them. His body had always been a wonderland. From his pecks, to his abs, to his arms, he loved every bit of it. Most recently however, he was secretly becoming a bigger fan of the dimples on the small of his back just above his arse.   
  
"Yeah, it is." He replied not even looking out at whatever it was that had Aaron mesmerized. He finally pushed himself off the door frame no longer able to keep away, and walked towards Aaron. When he reached him, Robert wrapped his arms around his waist from behind and nuzzled his nose into the crook of Aaron's neck breathing him as he closed his eyes. "You're just too good to be true." He sang softly into Aaron's ear. He couldn't help it. Somehow they had gotten roped into karaoke by the couple they had met and the song had been stuck in his head ever since. It baffled his mind how a song from ages ago could complete capture what he felt for Aaron.   
  
"Shut up." Aaron chuckled, yet melted into Robert's touch, into his voice, into his serenading. He loved every second of it. He would have laughed at it ages ago, well his younger self would. The version of him that was so closed off, so afraid of what the world would think of him, but now? He didn't care what anyone else would think of him, he only cared what the man singing to him thought. What his husband thought.   
  
"I can't take my eyes off you." He continued even more melodic than before. "You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much. At long last love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you." His voice slowed just as he began peppering kisses along Aaron's neck and his hands slid inside his swim trunks. Aaron simply leaned back into Robert, he raised his arm back and grabbed on to the back of Robert's neck pulling him hin for a kiss.   
  
Their tongues danced around swirling with one another as Aaron held tight with one hand to Robert's neck and the other to the rail. Luckily they were higher floor and the balcony was private enough that there was no protest. Aaron melted into it and moaned as Robert's hands grabbed a hold of him.   
  
"I love you baby." His silky voice finished as he pulled back from the kiss, his hands still fondling Aaron's dick, one hand cupping his balls, the other softly stroking him. Aaron moaned as he threw his head back, his eyes nearly rolling to the back at Robert's touch, then nearly whimpered when he felt Robert's hands pulling out of his shorts.    
  
Robert slowly knelt down placing soft kisses down Aaron's spine as he move lower and lower. Stopping at the small of his back, Robert slowly ran his tongue across it as he slid his fingers into the waistband of his shorts and slid them down to the floor. Instinctively, Aaron leaned forward slightly raising his arse, and Robert placed his fingers within the inside of his left arse cheek and pulled to the side. Aaron's hole in plain view, as if begging for attention, attention Robert couldn't deny it. His tongue slowly darting out and moistening his lips before his teeth bite down on his bottom one, he gives in no longer able to hold back and plunges forward.   
  
"Fuck." Aaron moans as he feels Robert's tongue running along the edges of his hole. The soft sensation tingling at the tender skin sent shivers through his body, making his knees weak, making him nearly squirm at the pleasure his husband is giving him. "Oh fuck." He gasps as he feels Robert's tongue pressing into his hole, as he feels it start to intrude. He nearly sees stars, as if everything Robert does is magic.   
  
As his tongue works over Aaron's hole, Robert reaches between his legs and grabs a hold of Aaron's throbbing dick. He's only just begun to pleasure him and his dick is already leaking, he can feel it the moment he grabs a hold. It's already ran down his shaft and still drips. The thought alone of just what he does to Aaron is nearly enough to send him over the edge. He brings his hand down and licks the precum of his hand before reaching back and stroking him slowly, gently, teasingly.   
  
"Robert please." Aaron begs. He hates being teased. He hates waiting. Robert knows it. Robert loves it. He loves to hear Aaron beg, but not as much as he loves to pleasure him. He slowly pulls his tongue away from Aaron's hole and pushes a finger in angling it. He knows what he's doing. He knows what he's looking for.   
  
"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck." Aaron gasps nearly jumping as he feels the pressure.   
  
"There we are." Robert smiles. His finger pressing against Aaron's prostate. That magical ball of nerves that makes him unravel. He presses at it for a moment then pulls his finger out and places it in his mouth. He closed his eyes and savored the taste of his husband before sliding his own shorts off as he stood. His arms wrapped around Aaron's chest as he pulled him close, his chest flushed to Aaron's back, his own arms crossed across his chest, he slid his tongue along his neck, and grinded himself onto Aaron's arse.   
  
Aaron was like putty to him. Every inch of him melting to his touch, moulding to his movements, and pressing against every push. He couldn't hold back any longer and he thanked the universe for the precum that had been leaking from his dick. Hard and straining in his shorts the whole time, getting a taste of Aaron was more than enough to get him leaking. He used it to slick himself up and gently slapped it against Aaron's hole, teasing him.   
  
"Please, Robert." He begged shamelessly.   
  
At his words Robert slowly released his grip around Aaron's chest, and placing his right hand on Aaron's hip, he used his left hand to gently push him forward just like before. Aaron looked back over his shoulder, he wanted to make eye contact, wanted to look Robert in his eyes as he pushed in.    
  
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck." Aaron groaned. The slight sting he always felt. The slight sting he loves more than anything. It takes him a moment to adjust to Robert's size, but the sting dissipates quickly and is replaced by pleasure as he feels the whole of Robert gliding in. "Fuck." He lets under his breath as he licks his lips, he gently pushes back into Robert when he feels him flushed against his arse. He wants every inch of him, he needs it. He nearly whimpers when he feels Robert pulling back, but the feeling doesn't last long as he feels him slowly pushing back in. It's not quite a thrust, but a gentle movement. A movement he synchronizes with. A movement that tells him just how Robert is feeling. This isn't one of their desperate fucks. This is Robert making love to him.   
  
The movements are slow, they're methodical, and everyone is angled just right, that they he feels Robert hitting his prostate with every single one. "Oh fuck." He groans. The filthy sounds coming from his mouth, it's like a chorus. "Oh fuck."    
  
Robert pulls him back against his chest. He wraps his left arm across Aaron's chest to hold him tight against him, and with his right he reaches down and strokes him. "I love you, Mr. Sugden." He whispers into his ear.   
  
"I love you more." Aaron replies before reaching back as far as he could and taking Robert's lips with his own. Their tongues dance around as he moans into Robert's mouth. The filthy noises they both make bring them both closer to their climax. It's then that Aaron pushes himself away from Robert and turns to take his lips again, then he gently pushes him back and onto a patio chair. With Robert sitting down, Aaron looks down at him their eyes trained on each other they both smile, and Aaron proceeds to straddle him. He reaches his right arm back and takes hold of Robert's hard dick lining it up with his hole. His eyes roll back as he lowers himself, as he feels Robert sliding back in. As if it was the most natural thing. As if Robert was meant to always be there. "You feel amazing."   
  
"You do too." Robert replies as he takes a hold of Aaron by the hips. "I'm not gonna last much longer." He tells him and Aaron simply begins to ride him. Just as Robert had done, he does so slowly, keeping his eyes trained to his. He leans down and leans his forehead to Robert's. "I'm gonna come." He warns him as he feels his toes curl and the heat pooling with him.   
  
"Come for me, Aaron."    
  
"Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck." He gasps as he shoots his load. Stream after velvety stream all spurted on Robert's chest.    
  
The warmth alone made him squirm and sent him over the edge. "Oh fuck, Aaron." He groaned as Aaron began to ride him harder. "Aaron." He groaned and he felt his climax hit him. It's like a wave of euphoria that made him see stars. He shook in place and he unloaded into Aaron, he felt his dick tense as every shot left him, and Aaron moaned as he felt the spurts of heat, fully satisfied to be filled with Robert in more ways than one.   
  
"You two make a beautiful couple." A young woman said pulling Robert from his thoughts. From such heated thoughts. She smiled sincerely as she nudged her partner besides her. "Babe, look. Aren't they cute together?" She asked him.   
  
"Yeah, I guess." The bloke responded groggily before resting his head and closing his eyes again.   
  
"Don't mind him." She apologized. "He always gets grouchy when why fly. He's bi and he'd probably agree if he wasn't grouchy."   
  
"Babe!" The young man shot up. "That's personal, they don't need to know about our private lives." He said, his face a bright shade of red. "I'm so sorry, she tends to run her gob when we fly." He finally said before judging her and they both went back to there own conversation.   
  
Robert couldn't help but laugh, internally he wanted nothing more than to just go back to his thoughts, but the man on his shoulder had softened him over the years, being friendly to strangers had become so much easier because of it. He was about to go back to his phone when he felt Aaron chuckle.   
  
"Oi. Where you awake the whole time?" Robert asked.   
  
Without opening his eyes Aaron simply nodded.   
  
"Well, why didn't you say something? Come to my rescue?"   
  
"What and get involved in that wreck? No thanks." He joked. "Besides, you've been chatting everyone up."   
  
"Have I really?"   
  
"Yeah, a bit. What's that about?"   
  
"Dunno, guess it's out of habit. Got used to everyone fawning over Arya. Ever since she was a baby, someone would always make conversation when they saw her. She does take after me so can't say I blame them"   
  
Aaron laughs as it dawns on him that Robert didn't really see what had been happening. As clear as it was to him, Robert was completely oblivious to it. "You know, you can be real thick sometimes." He tells him as he laughs.   
  
"Oi. Why do say that?" He asks as he nudges his shoulder into Aaron.   
  
"They didn't really care about Arya, you idiot."   
  
Robert's brows furrow and he looks back at Aaron with blank expression on his face.   
  
"Let me guess, they were all birds, yeah?" Aaron asks already knowing the answer to his question. "They saw a fit bloke with a cute baby and no wedding ring. Fit single dad, can't say I blame them for trying." He winks at Robert.   
  
"Huh..." The realization finally hits him.   
  
"You can't tell me, the great and cocky Robert Sugden couldn't tell all those birds were making a pass at him?"   
  
"I told you, after you, I was done with that part of my life." Robert tells him with a hint of sadness. He remembers how he felt, how he had resigned to never let anyone in again, to never fall in love again. At least not in that way. "Arya was all that mattered. They could have been blunt as asked me for my number, and I still would have been oblivious to it. Even then, I still had eyes for only one person." He says as he turns his head lifting Aaron's face by his chin before placing a chaste kiss to his lips.   
  
"You miss her don't you?" Aaron asked, the look on Robert's face gave him away. Aaron had noticed it the moment Arya's name had been mentioned.   
  
"I was going through my pictures while you were sleeping, I got some really good shots of her. There's a really great one of her with Vic, Liv, and your mum...and...I've been thinking. I want to take her back home."    
  
"You do realize she's waiting for ua back home, right?" For the past two weeks Arya had been back home with Chas and Paddy. They had happily taken their own holiday away from the village to stay at Robert and Aaron's home to take care of Arya while they were away.   
  
"No, that's not what I meant. I mean I want to take her back to the village, to Emmerdale. Shown her where I grew up, where we first met, where we first made a home together. Besides, I haven't really been back myself, not since I left."   
  
"What you on about? You came down to help me move, you remember that right? I know you're getting old, but..."   
  
"Shut up." Robert laughs as he pokes at Aaron's side making him laugh. "I know, but I mean properly. Back when we moved you out, I rushed it, rushed us out of there. We literally packed non stop and made some quick pitstop at the pub cos I was dying to get you moved in."   
  
"So you were trying to rush us?" Aaron teases remembering how fast Robert tried to get them back to London.   
  
Robert nods. "It was...it was just weird being down there, after I left the way I did, and I told myself I just wanted you back home with me."   
  
Aaron looks back at him as he takes his hand. He laces his fingers through Robert's and gently squeezes at his hand. He lets him know he's there, that he'll always be there, and that he understands. All with simple look.   
  
"But...I miss it, and I'd like us to take her. What do you say, show her where it all began?"

Aaron didn't answer, at least not vocally, but the wide smile and nod off his head said it all, that and the heart eyes he clearly gave Robert in return.   
  
~~~~

Everything seems hectic, it seems to be moving at lightning speed, yet at the same time at a glacial one. Everything around him is going at miles an second, but him, the person that's supposed to be helping him, it's as if they had both frozen in time, and he's not sure his heart can take it. “Please!” Robert nearly shouts at the woman behind the desk. “I need to find me husband!” He tells her in a panic.

The same panic he's been in since Liv called him and told him Aaron had been rushed to the hospital. He remembers the fear, the dread, and the worry he felt as she said the words. He had barely caught what she had said before the panic took over and he dropped what he was doing to rush out. In the panic he had almost forgotten Arya who had been in the living room watching a film as he prepared dinner for everyone. Fortunately the hospital wasn't too far from their home so it didn't take him long to get there, but once there everything seemed to have stopped, it's as if the universe wanted him to live in the panic. Arya clung to him and pressed her head into his neck, she could clearly see he was in distress. He had been for weeks, for months really. Both him and Aaron really, but not like this. She lifted her head spoke close to his ear, in the same manner her daddies often did with her. “Where daddy Aaron?” She asked.

Her words felt like a punch to his gut. He didn't know how to answer them, he wasn't even sure what was going on. He opened his mouth ready to shout at the woman, he'd had enough.

“Robert!” Aaron shouted from down the hall as he ran towards him with a massive smile on his face. “Come on! You idiot!” He shouted again waving him over.

Robert quickly pulled him into his free arm and hugged him tightly as he reached him, relieved to see him, though just as confused. “What's going on?” He said, his voice still a bit shaky. “Liv told me you were rushed to the hospital.”

“She what?”

“She…” he tried to tell him again before Aaron cut him off.

Aaron shook his head. “It doesn't matter.” He told him as he pulled back from the embrace and grabbed a hold of his hand, lacing his fingers with Robert's he pulled him back down the hall. “It's time!” He said as he rushed through the hall. “She's having our little boy.”

Like magic, Robert's thoughts went from panic to something so different yet all the same at the same time. _ She's having our little boy. _ The words ran through his mind taking him back to the day that's brought this all on.

He remembers the crisp air as he stepped out of his car before opening the backseat door to grab Arya out of her safety seat.

“Come on little monkey.” He told her as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Just as they had returned from their honeymoon they had decided to extend their holiday, they wanted to take Arya back to Emmerdale, back to where it all began. Chas and Paddy had been all for it, they had become so attached to Arya they hated to say goodbye, plus Chas loved the idea of them going back to the village with them.

When they arrived late in the evening they had been greeted by a proper Dingle do at the pub as if the wedding reception had never happened. The Dingles always loved a good do, and any reason to throw one was more than enough. They took Arya back to the Mill where they put her down for sleep and joined everyone back at the pub. Robert took his time showing everyone the photos from their honeymoon while Aaron fell right back in with Adam as if they had only seen each other hours earlier. The night had been long and fun, and with a light buzz they retreated back to the Mill.

As great as a memory as that night was what he remembered the most was the following morning. As his eyes slowly fluttered open he breathed in a scent he could never tire of, Aaron's head had been resting on his chest and Arya had been snuggled in between them. It was that moment when it happened, when it all came about.

Robert pushed his head forward and kissed the top of Aaron's head and heard a soft laugh coming from him.

“You awake?” Robert asked.

“Yeah.”

“How long have you been?”

“A while.”

“Why didn't you wake me?”

“Cos...I...I was just enjoying this.” Aaron said in a sleep soft voice as he looked up to meet Robert's eyes. He smiled then looked down to run his fingers through Arya’s hair.

“Soft lad.” Robert spoke, his voice just as soft, yet still in the same voice he only reserved for Aaron, for his husband. “What's brought this on”

“We should have another one.” Aaron had blurted out before he lost his nerve.

Robert shot up quickly wide eyed. “You what?” He asked.

“I'm sorry. That was dumb of me...just dropping that on ya like that.” Aaron replied with a sad smile holding on to Arya.

“You daft?” Robert nearly shouted. “I just...I...Yes, Aaron. Yes.”

“Yeah?” Aaron looked back at him with a smile.

“Yes!” Robert answered.

“Why are you yelling?” Arya asked as she rubbed her eyes. She didn't have her implant on but she could still hear the fuss. Aaron sat up looking at her, he started to move his hands but stopped as he tried to figure out what to tell her. It took him a moment but he began waving his hands as he signed to her “dad is happy.”

Arya shrugged her shoulders asking why as Robert reached for the nightstand for her implant and handed it to Aaron. As he placed it on her he looked over at Robert. “Can I tell her?”

Robert nodded with a beaming smile on his face.

“Why is daddy happy?” Arya asked.

Aaron smiled down at her. “He’s happy cos we are getting you a baby brother or sister.” He told her.

They day had started perfect and couldn't have gotten any better. They had a big breakfast with Liv, Chas, Paddy, Victoria, and Adam at the Mill where they had a hard time keeping Arya from spilling the news. They had decided not to tell anyone until everything they had a surrogate. Then they followed with a quick stop at Diane's. From there they took Arya around the village showing her all of their favorite spots; the cricket pavilion, the bridge, and the garage as they shared stories about the locations with her all the while excluding any of the racier details. She had asked how they met and Aaron quickly jumped to tell her that he had borrowed daddy's car and it was when Robert showed up for the keys that they finally met.

Aaron had the biggest smile then, the same smile he had on now as he pulled Robert by his hand towards the room where their baby was now being born. “Come on, you idiot or we're gonna miss it.”

As they reach the waiting area outside of the delivery room Robert spots Liv. “What took you so long, you div?” She asked as she took Arya from his hand.

“Why did you tell me Aaron was rushed to the hospital? Wait...where's Chas and Paddy?” He asked confused. They had all been out together shopping. Chas had wanted one last trip to see them before her baby came, the baby that was not meant to come for a few more weeks.

“Come on. I'll explain on the way.” Aaron told him as he pulled him towards the delivery room. “Mum, she went into labor while we were shopping. My phone died so I told her to call you and tell you we were rushing to the hospital...and then!” He says with a soppy smile. “While Grace was being born, that's her name by the way, Sophie called. She'd gone into labor and had just arrived at the hospital.”

“You serious? Both?”

Aaron nods his head excitedly. “Yeah, can you believe it? What are the chances?” He asks as they enter the room.

Sophie had already been a surrogate for Robert before, for Arya, so when Robert suggested her again, Aaron was more than happy with the choice. “This way, they'll be siblings.” He had said. “Not that they wouldn't be either way, but with what Arya went through...it also reminded me of Sarah and Jack, and I don't know. I figured it would be good if they were related by blood. You know? Just in case.”

Aaron hated the thought of their baby boy ever being sick in anyway, but Robert was right. With the scare they had with Arya, he'd rather be prepared in anyway possible.

They had both held Sophie's hand as she pushed, and gently squeezed it as she welcomed their baby boy into the world. With tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces they looked down at her then into each other's eyes before the nurse placed the little bundle into Aaron's arms. “Congratulations Mr. Sugden.” She told him.

~~~~

Chas had been resting in bed with Grace safely tucked into her arms. Paddy was sitting beside her like a doting father, still in shock that they had just had a baby. Neither of them had planned it especially not after Robert and Aaron had announced that they were having another one, but it just happened. Shock or not, neither of them could be happier. Liv and Arya sat nearby on a sofa against the wall in the room. Arya had been bright eyed the moment she saw the baby. She had asked all kinds of questions all leading to her surprise that the baby was her daddy's little sister.

“Hiya.” Robert said as he walked through the door. He walked over to Chas’ bedside and leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head before running a finger along Grace's cheek. “She's beautiful.” He told her.

“Thanks, luv.” She replied. “And?” She asked shaking her hand as if waiting for the obvious.

“And...I thought you guys could do with a little company.” He said as he looked over his shoulder to see Aaron walk in the room.

“I'd like you all to meet Daniel Alexander Sugden.” Aaron announced as he softly bounced the baby boy in his arms. The baby boy with hamster cheeks, blue eyes, and black curls. The spitting image of Aaron as Robert had put it.

He walked over to Chas’ bedside and took seat at the edge next to her so she could see her new grandson. In that moment he thought about all the bad he had gone through, and was glad that he made it through, because in the moment surrounded by his family, his loved ones, life was complete. Life was good. It was better than good actually, it was perfect.

Robert picked up Arya and leaned in close to him placing his hand on his shoulder. “I love you.” They both mouthed to each other.

Life really was perfect and there was still so much of it to be had.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have it and want to follow, you can find me on Twitter @fotografyraptor. Fair warning it's all robron all the time.


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